Exactly Just how Italian Are You?
Ok, so yesterday my friend, Ian, and I were getting into an elevator while having a conversation in which he was pronouncing certain Italian words (mostly cheeses) with an exaggerated Italian accent. It went something like this:
Ian: I can say that, because I am Italian.
Me: Well, so am I.
Ian: You are? You don’t look Italian…
Me: I look about as Italian as you, if not more. Just how Italian are you?
Ian: Half (at which point I think, shoot, I am only a quarter–he’s got me. Ok, I’ll pull out the big guns and mention exactly which part of Italy my grandfather is from. That should show him how authentically Italian I am.)
Me: Well, my Grandfather is from Boltzano.
Now Ian is just staring at me, so thoroughly impressed that he has nothing to say–no way to one-up me now. Ha, I think.
Ian: I actually don’t know where that is…
Oh crap, neither do I. So I come clean…
Me: yeah, I don’t either–just somewhere in the boot.
Then, a thickly accented and thoroughly Italian voice jumps into our conversation, Eet’s een-a Northern Eetaly…
And she goes on to tell us just exactly where it is, single-handedly putting both of us in our place with her true Italian-ess. We could hardly believe it. In all the elevators in all the world, we happened to share one with her. In Denver.
