eat a hamburger and call me in the morning
How many people go to see the physical therapist for a bothersome knee and get told to eat a hamburger?
Um, only one that I know of.
See, I go in, tell him that my knee has been hurting and he starts to examine it. He twists it and turns it, pokes and prods me and lets me know that it isn’t a torn anything. Well this is good. Maybe, he says, it is bruised…Hmmm. Okay. Then he looks at me and says, This might sound weird, but do you eat many hamburgers?
I wrack my brain for an inventory of things that I eat that could be classified as “many” and immediately see stacks of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches…
Uh, no, I reply.
How about steak? he asks.
Not really, I say.
Do you take iron supplements? Drink protein shakes?
Nope, I answer, hoping that his next question involves cereal inhalation (okay, so I don’t actually inhale it; but I do eat a lot of it) so I can finally give him a resounding yes.
He doesn’t even mention cereal and goes on to say, The reason I say this is that well, you are very small (he gives my leg a quick pinch as if to prove his point that if my leg were not very small, he wouldn’t be able to so effortlessly pinch it). You don’t have any fat, and therefore have no shock absorption. I am not a nutritionist, but you need to eat red meat. Is there a boy who could maybe take you out for some steak?
I smile and say, I think I can find some friends who will eat some meat with me.
He gives me a few knee exercises to do, looks at me and says, Try to eat a hamburger at least three times a week.
Okay, I will, I solemnly promise. Then I thank him and walk out the door.
When I told some of my friends this, they thought it was quite funny; in fact I am pretty sure that I will not hear the end of it anytime in the near future. And, as per my instructions, I went out after the show tonight and had a delicious hamburger.
I am thinking I am one hamburger closer to my knee feeling better.
