There’s a huge thunderstorm crashing around outside my apartment. It sounds like God has taken out every pot and pan in his kitchen and is banging them together in mischief.

I am really hoping he is not making chili.

I actually watched a little bit of tv tonight. I have been here for a week and a half now and finally just learned how to turn the thing on. If you didn’t know, I am not tremendously into watching television. I have always felt like it has the potential to rot your brain and suck part of your spirit out.

Although, don’t get me wrong–there are some shows I love, but they generally tend to be the kinds that do not rot my brain and steal my spirit. At least, it hasn’t happened yet. Here’s hoping that it’s not the kind that does it so slowly you only realize it’s happened after you’ve lost the ability to form full sentences and think deep thoughts. Because then it might be too late.

This is why I always marvel that people fall asleep to the television. Whoa. What if something terrible comes on in the middle of the night and you are not conscious enough to turn it off or at the very least turn the channel? You might be unknowingly watching The Jerry Springer show every night and this may explain your sudden demand for your father to get a paternity test because even though you undeniably have his nose you are wondering if maybe your real father is your uncle. And if your uncle is really even a man at all.

Or worse, you could be subject to a whole retinue of those local commercials in which the owner of the furniture shop can’t afford to actually hire an actor and so screams at you through the lens about his latest blowout that only lasts through this weekend, adding sudden jabs into the air in your general direction for good measure and all the while causing you to wonder what you ever did to make him yell at you like this?

He calls it salesmanship, you call it abuse.

Actually, I usually call it funny.

Especially if you can tell his family are the other actors involved. Who needs to pay for extras when your wife did all the hard work of bringing them into this world? Sheesh, after that, they owe it to you to be an extra, especially when you consider Little Timmy’s lengthy hospital stay. And no, they will be getting no royalties but they do get to eat food at your table every day and get to go to school, so it’s more than fair.

Actually, my last tour had me and my friend Betsy scouring the tv for the very best local commercials. Really really loud? Really really good. Large neon letters spelling out the location surrounded by keywords like MEGA or ONE TIME ONLY or even NO CREDIT, NO PROBLEM!!! (and ah, actually that is a problem, fyi) just amps the commercial up to awesome.

But to each his own, I suppose.

And back to tv, Drew and I have been watching Burn Notice whenever we can (read, whenever we happen to find ourselves in the same city). And well, there’s this…(and I hesitate to use this title because of the negative connotation that instantly goes with it, but here goes)…fanny pack that one of the main characters, Fiona, wears. I like to call it a belted purse, but then again, it really is a fanny pack.

It actually looks really cool on her plus it has the added benefit of having your shoulder completely free, as you can see here.

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