scary little hand
Terrifying, I know.
OMG is right.
How do you think I feel about it?
Because see, it’s right outside my door. In my parents’ basement. Because, although I am not living in a van down by the river, thank God, I am living in my parents’ basement.
Which is actually very nice.
Minus the scary little hand.
Actually, there are two of them. My mom puts them in each of the dogs’ crates at night. I guess it’s a real treat.
But when you’re innocently doing your laundry at one in the morning and you happen to glance down and see a severed hand right by your foot–albeit, behind bars, but still–it’s a bit disturbing.
Okay, a lot disturbing.
So disturbing that I had to snap that picture and text it to my brother Jason out in California. Which he then shared with Darby, my sister-in-law. To which she asked, Why are mom and pop teaching the dogs to chew hands?
Good question, Darby.
And then when I told my friend about it, he had yet another take. He seemed to think that they are alien hands and that they are what’s left of an alien attack. The thought is intriguing but even more frightful, I think.
Because that would mean that there is now an alien where the dogs sleep at night. And where the dogs sleep at night is the basement and remember? I also sleep in the basement. And now he is not just your every day alien, he’s an angry alien because he has no hands. Perfect.
But at least he has no hands.
Meaning, at least if he attacks again I will be up against an alien with stumps instead of hands and since I have two perfectly good hands, that totally gives me the advantage.
Plus, I doubt the alien knows ballet.
I could so take him.
But still, I hope it doesn’t come down to that.
Fingers crossed.
in Funny Stuff, Loved Ones, photography
as alien attack, angry alien, basement, brother jason, California, caption, good hands, hand, Jason, night, right, van down by the river
My name is Jessica and this is a nice, quiet space that I like to cram with words.
Well, nice try, but I’m still not rating high enough to make it into the tag cloud. However, I see your automated tag machine generated a tag for Jason and “brother jason,” which is I think is quite appropriate, but it really should be Brother Jarson.
It totally should be Brother Jarson. The sisters sure do miss thee. We must soon write another song in which we pretend to be deeper than the ocean but really are just silly and yet our parents still will swoon when they hear it and say it is the best thing written since Genesis.
We are such tricksters.
One word: fingernails.
I know! Horrible, just horrible.
WOW>scary!!!!
At least you can cross your fingers…the poor alien…
lol. You’re right–the alien no longer even HAS fingers to cross!
OK guys. I feed my dogs raw meat because the stuff they put into dog food is unbelievable and they charge you for it. Dogs are smart & they have a very strong ability to smell things: they know the difference between human hands and chicken feet. Chicken feet are cheap, sold at Shop Rite, and dogs LOVE them. Much cheaper than buying the expensive stuff at the pet store.
All that said: the chicken feet are disgusting
disgusting, huh, mom? Is that why you paraded one into my room last night and tried to make me look at it up close and personal? you didn’t seem to think it was so disgusting then!
Hahahahahahaha. That is super-weird.
zactly.
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! Chicken feet are SO gross!
At least you have fingers to cross, Jess. It’s the little things that count.