Comments on: orange t-shirts and why I hate them

By: jessica

jessica — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 05:19:32 +0000

yeah, I think it does take time…and also a balance of being able to see people’s heart towards me…It’ll be okay. Something my counselor has said helps: In time I will say I was in hell, but I’m better now.

By: sarah

sarah — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 00:31:11 +0000

i agree with Jason.. that’s the kind of message i want to send..i also agree that trust should be earned..and in some situations it does take a lot of time, and that’s really okay. when trust has been crushed in a very horrible way, it takes time to heal and time to trust..and there’s nothing wrong with that..you have a beautiful heart and i pray that you feel God protecting it for you and leading you towards safe people who love you and want the best for you..

By: peaj

peaj — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:27:26 +0000

Jess, I’m sorry if the last paragraph of my post above makes it sound like I think that this pain is something that you can shake off in some short period of time or that it will be easy. I didn’t mean it like that. I just see you on this arc that will bring you to a place of appropriate trust. I pray that it is easy.

By: peaj

peaj — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:20:11 +0000

I don’t disagree with you Mer. In my short two sentences I was trying to counter the attitude of “you’ve had it sooo easy” that some people have given Jessica and Kathie. I agree that everyone (at least, everyone that I’ve ever talked to) has been through pain that they feel is a personal hell, and so I think that it is demeaning to tell anyone “you don’t know what pain is like.”

At the same time – well, I guess I shouldn’t presume to speak for everyone. For myself, I know that even when I have felt simply horrible, I know that there are people that have it even worse than me. This week, all I have to do is look to Haiti to see a lot of them. This thought has helped me with some perspective on my own pain.

By: Jason

Jason — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 21:57:21 +0000

And I agree with Merry, trust should be earned. You don’t want to assume the worst and be so closed that you’re actually hostile, but people should prove their heart before they get access to yours.

By: Jason

Jason — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 21:55:31 +0000

What color shirt should I wear if I want to send this message: “I’ll try really hard not to hurt you and if I do it’ll hopefully be accidental and in the end I’ll try to make the kind things I do outweigh the unkind”??

By: mer

mer — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 20:30:42 +0000

What really constitutes a worse situation? Each person has their own situations that seem like a personal hell and their pain is just as real and, well, painful, as someone in a seemingly “worse” situation. Betrayal by the one person who vows to not betray you is, in my opinion, one of the worst pains there is.Once someone has traumatized you so severely it IS extremely difficult to trust again. It just IS. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that either. I was hurt a lot as a child and now people have to earn my trust. I don’t think that is a bad thing at all. It is taking care of yourself.

By: peaj

peaj — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 20:02:21 +0000

Something bad happens to everyone that they consider really terrible. And there are always people who have it worse.

I agree that we all would wear orange shirts. And really, I don’t think mine would be duller than the ones of those who have hurt me the most.

When I got hurt by those I trusted, I was at first wary of trusting again. But over time I just kind of faded back into opening my heart to people. I think that it is just who I am. So yes, it is up to you whether you trust, but I don’t think that it will necessarily take a lot of work; I think that as you pursue the Spirit of God that you will find the appropriate level in the appropriate time.

By: jessica

jessica — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:44:49 +0000

I know, Kathie–I like orange too. Perhaps the poison sign will do just fine:)

By: Kathie Krakowski

Kathie Krakowski — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:08:13 +0000

Oh, I love the color orange!
Couldn’t the shirt be printed with the words, “I will hurt you.”, or, “I am not safe.”, or have printed on it the international symbol for poison, instead? Regarding the “perfect life” comment, someone actually said something similar about me…namely, that I was a “golden child”. Meaning, I guess, that I had some sort of charmed life and nothing bad ever happened to me, so I couldn’t possibly understand other people’s pain/difficulties. I KNOW that wasn’t true before but, just in case there is some sort of sliding scale, it certainly no longer applies!