firsts: thestrals and snow shoveling.
And here’s the part when I tell you that I shoveled snow for the very first time in my life this weekend and you gasp.
And then you tell me that it’s about time I took off my kid gloves and replaced them with a pair of gortex gloves. Oh, and a shovel.
But see–and maybe because, admittedly, I’ve never done it at all before and therefore haven’t had the chance to grow sick and tired of it–I actually quite enjoyed it.
But I’m thinking that had something more to do with the company I kept while shoveling–
the snow didn't stand a chance.
rather than the actual act of shoveling itself.
And aren’t we adorable, all bundled up, daring the cold to even try it with us? There’s Christian, there’s my brother Jonathan, and of course, I’m the one who’s a girl. And I only had to be told once to not dump the snow into the spot that we needed to shovel once we were finished with this one. After I had done it a couple times, of course, proving to Christian that it was no longer just a one time mistake on my part.
Oh.
Good point.
Forgive me; I’m a nube.
But a nube with a unique perspective. One that seemingly colors everything right now. Even as I was shoveling snow, I was thinking about it.
You know, the encompassing it. And it’s funny, there are a couple different ways people can ask me how I’m doing. Like this weekend, I was snowed in with some wonderful friends and family and a lot of the hours were spent in jolly good times with kids that know nothing else. But then there’d be a lull, the kids would be somewhere else, and someone would ask me, How are you doing? and they’d say it with the kind of inflection that let me know that they were thinking about it and it was okay for me to think about it too. Aloud, if I want.
Cause it’s always there.
Which makes me think of something else. That scene from Harry Potter with slightly batty Luna Lovegood, discussing why both she and Harry can see the creatures who pull their carriages, while others cannot:
And I thought about how the price feels too high to be in such a club. And how yes, you end up seeing more than you ever thought you would, but maybe you become a bit of a loon in the process. Maybe you’re at a party and you look around and everybody seems happy and normal and wow, their life looks generally good, and here you are blinking because while everybody else is looking at the tv, you can’t stop seeing the Thestrals.
And if you could be writing songs all of the time, you think you would be just fine with that. And actually, if you could choose, maybe you’d become a musical note anyway. You’d just make your little sound, hit it like a hammer whenever you’re needed, and there’s no confusion in that. There’s only a great big, deep breath of fulfillment in that.
And you’d be an E, you think. And depending on your mood, you’d either hang out with your minor friends or you’d hang out with your major friends but either way, you’d still be an E. You’d still be you; no guessing in that, snuggled right between a D# and an F natural, right where you belong.
And maybe the Thestrals wouldn’t bother you so much anyway, cause remember? You’re just an E. You just keep doing your thing, striking your note, and let it all happen around you.
Oh, but you’re not an E. You’re a complicated person who wakes up surprised all over again at the landscape around you. And you’re feeling crazy because you still want to write love songs, despite it. And yes, you might have a stronger urge than ever before to throw in an occasional curse word into the song, but you’d still like to write about love and wow, you still believe in it.
Thestrals and all, you still believe in it.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings, photography
as brother jonathan, caption, Christian, E. You, gortex gloves, Harry, Harry Potter, jonathan, kid gloves, Luna Lovegood, nube, part, snow, Thestrals, time
My name is Jessica and this is a nice, quiet space that I like to cram with words.
OKAY, I haven’t been able to get through the whole post because I just had to correct you on the spelling, “Nube.” EWWW! First of all, it’s NEWB, as in short for NEWBIE, like a person who’s new at something. It’s not like NUBE, which is spelled like… well I think you know. And it’s not right.
And now Jonathan has a tag in your tag cloud. Great.
Jason, for that matter, “Nube” has a tag in the tag cloud!
Jase, hahahaha. Are you offended that nube sounds like nude?? Or am I showing my complete naivety here? And yep, welcome to the tag cloud, Jonathan!!!
like nube, only it starts with “p.”
ohhhhhh. ewwwww. gotcha. nope, not what I mean AT ALL.
Haha. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that when I saw that word, Jason.
I’m glad we could share in this, Mandy.
Dude, I understand the etymology, but you’re talking about what was originally a hacker term, and they have their own spelling. So it is noob. Sorry to break it to ya.
I’m fine with that, too…. just not nube.
well now, ‘noob’ reminds me of something else. so…
for hackers? could be intentional.
Better a -oob than a -ube, that’s what I always say. Actually, I’ve never said that before, and if I did people wouldn’t know what in the world I was talking about because oob and ube sound the same.
Jase–that OOB or UBE comment made both me and Jonathan crack up. I wish you did say that. A lot. You’d sound totally crazy.
Let me add, then, a wrinkle. “-oob is better than -ube, but clearly -ewb is the best.”
Jess it was so much fun having you over with our family this weekend. What a special and unexpected adventure. One of those times in life where you know you are all making memories that will last. And may I point out, that my entire life many people have enjoyed jesting at the largeness of my head. Well finally, a picture where my head actually not only looks small – but abnormally so!
Your post makes me think of the verse “love is stronger than death.” I know of all people Jess, you will not allow this “death of love” that has happened in your life, to kill love forever. You are too committed to the power of love and the virtue of love. And to proving that a genuine expression of love does exist, and doesn’t have to end in hellish pain.
And finally, just want to point out another pretty funny tag – never seen this one before: “E. You” Is that a new curse word you are working into a song?
Lol, about your head–it does look pretty small here! Guess you can say your head is pretty versatile, now. Put that on your resume. And yes, E.You is my way of saying F you, if that’s okay…!!!
Hey, Jess—weren’t you the letter “E” in the play in elementary school? You did a great job, too. We knew then that you could play a talented “E!”
oh mom, I totally was!!! My first solo! My short sound is ‘eh,’ my long sound is’eeeeeee;’ won’t you come sing with me???
I still totally know it!!! So funny!!
Jess I’m so glad you got to be with such great people who love you so much this weekend. I also am so glad that you still want to write love songs…occasional curse words and all : )
thanks! although I wish you could have been one of the great people who love me that I got to hang out with too!!!!
Jess..im so glad too, that you got to be with such good people who love you..and i am so glad that you are still writing beautiful songs, despite the present landscape around you..i know so many more beautiful songs will keep coming..along with beautiful new landscapes that will come your way..
sarah–we gotta get our Fame date on!!! I miss you!!!
It’s hard not to believe in love when you’re surrounded by it. And I can tell you are. Even though the Thestrals suck and I hate that you have them flying around (or whatever Thestrals do), I’m glad you are still surrounded by love.
Another funny thing about this picture is that the white on Jonathan’s coat blends into the wall behind him, making it look like he has a very slender waist, and an hourglass figure!
Jonathan has always been very proud of his girlish figure and the way he’s maintained it!
Something about the way that you identify yourself as the one “who’s a girl” makes me chuckle.
And while the simplicity and purity of an E note may be appealing, honestly, all by itself, it doesn’t have much potential. It’s kind of boring. You, with your complexity, can push that E around into its place in a song like nobody’s business and take that boring note and make it interesting. Even inspirational.
about “the one who’s a girl–” well, I AM!
and thank you–I think I will get to it with pushing that E around and working the complexity into music…
miss you too!!! can’t wait for our movie night:)
u.be.crazy
we’re alllllll a little crazy here…:)