life is a lot of things, but boring isn’t one of them.
Because there are always random men who come up to you at the gym and ask that standard question: Excuse me, but are you American? Because you sure don’t look it.
And then you wonder how exactly an American is supposed to look, anyway. I mean, a true American should look a lot more like Pocahontas and a lot less like Dakota Fanning, right? If we’re talking originals, that is. And oh my, but I won’t even tell you how many typos I’ve already found, just in the past…counting…uh, six sentences.
But that’s okay because I love editing. Almost as much as I love italics. Which is not to be confused with Italians. Though I love them, too. Considering I am one and all. But seriously, I’m so into editing. And I don’t always remember what everything is called in terms of verbs and adjectives (okay, so action words and then the words that end in ‘ly,’ right?), but I do have this strange and unyielding recall of articles and what they are: a, an, and the. I don’t know why, but I just can’t forget articles. Maybe because there’s just three of them. Maybe because they are tiny words and don’t take up that much room in my brain, anyway.
Not like my name: Jessica Sarah Elisabeth (with an ‘s,’ mind you; I find that terribly important!) Latshaw. That’s a doozy and takes up a ton of room, which is why I’ll forgive you if you forget it because you simply don’t wanna use up that much space in your brain for just one person’s name. It’s like making the executive decision to delete some of the musical theater albums from your itunes that you never listen to anyway. Sorry, Parade. It’s not personal; there just isn’t that much room on this skinny little macbook air of mine to begin with, so…yeah.
But I was talking about how life is never boring. And yes, grammar and the construction of sentences sure helps with that. For me, anyway. But so does the time when someone mentions a game in which everybody has to choose someone in the room to swap lives with, and your friend leans over and teasingly says: Pretty sure nobody would swap lives with you right now!
And wah-waaaaaah. Kinda sad, kinda true. And in the midst of our laughter, you know what I thought?
But I don’t want to swap lives with anybody else.
And it’s true, I don’t. Despite the sadder circumstances that keep me able to easily recognize the nice lady behind the desk at the Wilmington courthouse, and despite my heart that is proving to be more like a starfish in the way that it regenerates, mind you–not necessarily in the way that it can consume prey outside of its body–I still want to be me. I still want to live inside my head and think my thoughts and write my songs and live inside my body and keep bleaching out my hair and pointing my feet and relating with my family and texting my friends.
And it’s okay if nobody wants to swap with me, because I am a firm believer in living your life. Your own life. As a good friend of mine says, How bout I do me and you do you?
Oh, but here’s a tip: Don’t get that phrase mixed up at all. Because, just when you were kindly trying to give someone the kind of advice that affirms their individuality, you end up sounding like you’re a class A creeper, trying to proposition somebody. So maybe practice saying it once in your head before you say it for real.
You’re welcome.
And what else is so not boring?
Getting to sing songs for people at the World Cafe’s open mic.
And because someone I love dearly has told me that she sometimes scans my blog for *pictures, here are some for her.
And for those of you who mostly scan my blog for words, don’t worry, here are some for you. Ones that have nothing whatsoever to do with these pictures. Like the fact that I just realized tonight that Mad Libs is a play on words for Ad Libs. I thought it had something to do with the fact that it sounds like lips and we use our lips to speak…Yeah, I obviously never really thought it through.
Major duh.
And I think it’s funny that Shane has mentioned that he has blond hair–usually–but now that my hair is this color, he doesn’t know what color that makes his in comparison.
How bout we just stick with natural? As in, his is natural in comparison?
And what else?
While we were singing the chorus to one song–a chorus that happens to say the words, I love you–someone yelled back: I love you, too!
Aw, sweet.
Oh, and when we were doing the rap, people got up and actually started dancing. Ha. It was so fun. I happen to be a big fan of dancing, you know.
And I’m a fan of how life is never boring, which I’m pretty sure I’ve already mentioned.
*pictures by Dominic Ditanna
in Funny Stuff, Performance, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
as American, Dominic DiTanna, Don, doozy, executive decision, fact, Jessica Sarah Elisabeth, Latshaw, life, lot, Pocahontas, room, Shane, someone, tiny words, verbs and adjectives, Wilmington
I’m so glad you wouldn’t trade your life with anyone. Because it would be so strange if I talked to you and you looked back at me with a blank stare and said, “huh?” and I said, come on, you know what I’m talking about and you’d say, “What?” and I’d say Darn it Jessica who’s in there and did you trade lives and someone would say yeah mine really sucked and I wanted to see what it would be like to have six pack abs and really blonde hair and I’d be all like well then where is my sister and your life swapper would be like I don’t know probably fishing for lobster off the coast of Maine right now with a beard and a potbelly (and that would be so weird.)
hahahahahahaha.
okay, I lol’d. like for real. that’s really funny.
But I do love Maine. And I find lobster tasty. Not as tasty as some people who are like, Yummmm I had lobster and duck and scallops and all things decadent tonight and oh, sorry about the PB&J, sucker!!! But I do like it.
Except I wouldn’t like a potbelly. That’d make all my leotards fit kinda funny, I think.
Now you’re just baiting me! And would you like a potbelly pig better than a potbelly?
hahaha, why, whatever do you mean?
and yes, I’d take a potbelly pig over a potbelly any day,I think:-)
BTW, I think it’d be really funny if the Paper Janes played their encore with switched outfits. You wearing a trucker hat and a tee and jeans and shane wearing a skirt and tights! Come on, you know it would be awesome!!!
well shane has told me he’s jealous of my yellow pants…I don’t think you’d have to twist his arm, really…:-)
It’d be a cool idea for promo pictures, at least!
Haha, that would be awesome.
A promo pic could be set up as follows: 2 pictures on one page. They are laid out side by side with a divide down the middle. You could stage the pictures so that they look like a mirror image.
On the left side, it would be normal… you both in your normal clothes… shane with his guitar… you with a mic. Then for the picture on the right you could switch outfits, switch places, and you would play guitar (lefty, of course, to make the mirror image effect convincing) while shane sings in a mic.
I love it.
Let’s do it!
Seriously, I think it’d be really interesting…
Yes Collin – you can see it! Make it happen!
(I know Mandy Hornbuckle, at the very least, will be all over this brilliant idea.)
I love how many shout-outs Mandy Hornbuckle gets on here! I think it’s partly due to her awesome name and partly due to her awesome nature.
She’s a thislifeinfwriting.com celebrity.
“But I don’t want to swap lives with anybody else.”
I think I can safely speak for many when I say, “Good, because we love you just the way you are!”
Isn’t God just SO awesome?!!! He excels at taking horrible situations and bringing great good out of them! Donna Kurylak recently said to me, “You know what the best roses grow in, don’t you?…Horse manure!”.
well, I think I’ve gotten a good strong dose of horse manure so my roses should be real REAL nice.
Funnily enough, I dreamed that you and I swapped lives a couple nights ago. But it was dream-lives and not real lives.
that’s so funny! were our dream-lives different from our real lives?
Unless you are really the ruler of a town where it’s perpetually sunset…
yes, then, I’d have to go with different
I especially like the last photo, you guys just look so happy and in the moment.
And not swapping lives? good move, brave move. It seems there’s a wonderful lot of things for you to do in the life that you’ve got.
and also it’s a really good move because I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to swap lives anyway! MIght as well get pretty comfortable right here, then!
and thanks, I like that pic too!
I think I’d like to do a Freaky Friday for just one day! I’d like to see what it is like to sing and dance. It would be fun! And you could see what it’s like to counsel and administrate. It would be fun!
but mom, I basically already did that! Christine and I would always go over to your office when we were little and play at counseling people alllllllll day. We even would use your huge counseling books–the Diagnostics something or other–and loved it! Now it’s your turn, I guess, to pretend to be me. So, go…:)
Jess!!!!! i am a fan too..of life not ever being boring!! and i am a fan of you being you..:) and i love those oics!!!!!!:)
i mean pics:)
haha I liked it when you complimented my oics!!! It made me laugh!!!
Ok, I want to hear this rap, and I’m so sad I haven’t yet! UGH! I’m sure you did it at the cove, but all this talk on your blog about this rap, has me so thrilled. I can’t wait! YAY LIFE!
haha okay, okay–you’ll hear it–we just gotta record it or something!! and yay life is SO right!!!!
This post make me super happy!! Because, 1) GRAMMAR! YAY! 2) Happy! YAY! 3) Pictures! YAY!
And Why have we still not heard this RAP!?
I know–so much to celebrate, right? grammar and pictures and happy–who needs more? Oh wait, you do. cause you need to hear the rap…working on that!!!
I’m demanding like that.
[evil smiley faces] 
only someone as demanding as you would use smiley faces for such sinister purposes…;-)
but at least you admit it, and that’s the first step to recovery.
Hi, my name is Mandy, and I use smiley faces for evil.
I just want to know if you were wearing tights, cause otherwise, that skirt is WAY too short
I know ALL about too short. I am this family’s modesty police. But, don’t worry, the yellow leggings are here to save the day again. Not just the day, but those yellow leggings save life. That’s why I NEED some, so we can be twinsies!!
Hahah Lyric I love you!
double ditts on me, Lyrlie!!!!
consider revision:
“But seriously, I’m so into editing.”
into vs. in to?
and apparently I’m not the ONLY one who is so IN TO (better?) editing.
Yo, whatever friend said that comment about no one switching lives with you is a real ‘you know what.’ Someone should edit him
I know! And can you believe it was at a Bible study, too? I should really let the leader know what kind of things are being whispered there…