reading aloud makes me stupid happy. or maybe just stupid.
There are certain things that I get more excited about than I probably should.
Things like walking into the bathroom to perform my get-ready-for-bedtime routine and suddenly realizing that I already flossed today. Major score, one less thing to do.
And oh, what if my get-ready-for-bedtime routine was something that I actually did perform? Like, on a stage? I think I’d be a starving artist, cause not many people would buy tickets. I think that my life-as-art act might be better as life then as art. Although I’ve been told that I make quite a mirror face, so there’s that. Maybe somebody would buy a ticket to see me make my mirror face.
Or maybe not.
Oh, but back to things that make me more excited than is normal. See, I get really happy when someone asks me to read out loud in a group. Of course, I don’t let it show. When they ask for a volunteer, I wait for what I consider to be an appropriate amount of time so as not to seem too needy, and then I casually say, Oh. I guess I will. I mean, if nobody else wants to…But inside, it’s my birthday. And you’re all the guests and oh look! the birthday girl gets to read! OUT LOUD! and bam! she gets to practice her diction and emote through her words–even if it is just a book about abnormal psychology or fear and art or dance history or whatever, cause READING! OUT LOUD! LIKE, FOR REAL! and who needs cake when you’ve got that?!
And tonight, I got the chance. Cause I was at a Bible Study that my friend Christian leads and you guessed it, he asked for a volunteer to read aloud and nobody said anything (I. KNOW. I don’t understand it, either!). So he finally was like, Okay, Jess. I know you want to read out loud. Do it. And I was all, Oh, well, sure. I mean, I guess I could. I suppose I have time to read a few vers–and I was gone. Happily reading out loud.
Until I came across this one particular verse. It was about someone named Epaphrotitus (I might have just spelled that wrong; spellcheck certainly thinks so, but it might not be up on its Roman names. And that might not be a Roman name). And Paul is praising this guy with the name that’s proving to be unspellable, saying that he is living right–for others and God and all that jazz but probably not in that order–and then Paul says this: And then he got sick and almost died.
And cue Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter, because remember how she seems to be laughing all the time? When it is terribly inappropriate, too; like, when some of the best characters in the story are dying, leaving Harry alone. AGAIN. Well, I read that verse–out loud, mind you–like this:
And then he got sick…trying not to laugh here…and almost…starting to laugh here..died…HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
And I will probably never get asked to read out loud in that group again, because who laughs like a crazy person at someone almost dying in the Bible? I mean, who other than me?
The responding silence is noted.
And not surprising.
Luckily, I was laughing so hard that other people started laughing too. Probably not at someone almost dying, though; it was probably more at me. Which is fine. I will have to practice my delivery, I suppose. I will have to learn what emotions go with what words all over again. I will have to be appropriate.
I have a lot of homework.
in Funny Stuff
as abnormal psychology, art, bedtime routine, chance cause, Christian, face, God, Harry, Harry Potter, I. KNOW, Jess, mirror face, Paul, score one, someone, time, volunteer
well your reading-out-loud secret is out of the bag now. this brings back memories of 3rd grade reading groups, We would all take turns and I would correct everyones pronunciation (how rude right) and then when it got to me, I would stutter or mess up a bunch of words, and then well, lets just say my 3rd grade reading group didnt think very highly of me.
Oh hahahaha Olivia!! what did any of us really know in 3rd grade, anyway? Or in 2nd, for that matter…I remember being such a tattletale. I was sharing a table with this one kid who would not stop singing Bad, by Michael Jackson. Like, ever. And I was quite studious, even then. It was distracting, you know!!! So I did it: I went up and told the teacher on him. And then marched back victoriously as the teacher came and told the kid to stop. singing. bad.
So happy I get to be the first comment
Jess, just so you know, you have a terrible poker face! When you think that you are nonchalantly sitting there acting like you are fine if someone else reads, I see something completely different. Your eyes light up, you start fidgeting, and everything about you is screaming, “PLEASE PICK ME!!” I almost started laughing when I looked over at you trying to act like you didn’t care if you got to read. HAHAHA
And laughing at this poor guy’s near demise was classic. I loved it. And what was great was 5 verses later Paul references his near death experience again by saying he “risked his life” and you couldn’t get through that either!! LOL
So fun tonight!
Oh man! Olivia beat me to it! Guess I took too long to write!
And yep–Olivia was quick on the draw tonight!!
Who is this Olivia who is so fast??
I’m thinking it’s sweet Olivia stout…and LYRIC, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO LATE???!!!!
And why? Would you like her on your team for the next relay race?
Oh man, i didnt know it was a game. I now have yet another excuse for staying up late: being the first to comment on jessica latshaws blog, sweet.
and you’ve already proven that you’re quite good at it–watch out, world!!
Well, I can’t say I just totally figured it out by your obvious expression. You actually told the WHOLE group last time how much you love to read out loud. About how excited you get because of homeschool and stuff. Don’t you remember that?
Ohhhhh I did???
I kinda remember that.
I should stop doing drugs.
I’m just kidding.
I SHOULDN’T stop doing drugs.
I’m really kidding–I don’t do drugs.
Hugs, not drugs.
hugs and Kithses.
definitely add kitheth to the list. midnight kitheth, ollie-style.
oh man. It’s true–I really AM a horrible liar. But seeing as liars aren’t exactly top on my list-or even ON my list–then, I guess that’s not so bad…but that’s hysterical that I am so transparent.
Actually, it does clear it up. Cause I was confused as to how you knew I wanted to read so badly–I didn’t remember having ever told you of how happy it makes me. But I guess I didn’t need to!!!
And yeah, I couldn’t not laugh at even an oblique reference to that guy’s near death experience. So dumb.
but yes, fun, too!!!
(((hugs))) for everyone!!!! Jessica, you always did have a performance aspect to your personality. I am glad that you didn’t become a veterinarian!
oh me too–I am pretty sure UArts has never, in all its years of educating people, graduated a veterinarian…:)
P. S. You are a Renaissance Woman in my mind. You can do a little bit of everything. You are well rounded, educated, spiritual, and awesomely talented. God has blessed you with these things, and I thank you for sharing them with all of us. I mean you sing, dance, you can have a ton of fun, you write, and you play a treewood(that makes me laugh just typing it) guitar. You do so much more.
I know that was a long P.S., but I just had a lot to say…
well, if you’re p.s’s are that kind and encouraging, you can write me one whenever you want!!! thanks.
Oh, Jess…I can totally relate…I LOVE to read out loud!!! I will be the first to volunteer, no hesitation about it, for the first time, but then I will do all the waiting…to give others an opportunity…all the while simultaneously hoping no one else will want to and wondering why they don’t want to!
Epaphroditus is the guy’s name…you only missed it by one letter.
kathie–this does not surprise me!
and oh right–I swopped the ‘d’ for a ‘t!’ my b!
Paul must have meant this as a joke when he wrote it. Why shouldn’t he have? It’s the perfect setup! I find laughing in the face of tragedy seems quite appropriate these days. Maybe even pretty normal!
chris–you are so right. laughing is cathartic, I believe–and it would have been worse if I had just burst into tears while reading it–something else that could have been appropriate these days!
And that Paul. SUCH a jokester.
Jess.i can just picture this!!! i wish i was there!!! what a great story and i am SO glad that other people started laughing too!!! i for sure, would have joined in!!!!:) you are so cute and so funny!!!
oh yeah, sare–you totally would have been laughing, too! I wish you had been there also–I miss going to groups like that with you:)
Man, get here in the morning, miss the party…
One of my pet peeves is when people read the Bible like a grocery list. They’ll be like “and then jesus told the man to stretch out his hand and it was completely restored” and I’ll be like “do you even care that this is an amazing miracle done in the FACE of the haters!??”
You should come to my Bible Study. We’ll let you read the whole chapter. Then, if you stick around, you can hear us talk about three verses, so that the next time, you can read (essentially) the whole chapter again.
and I can crack up at something that isn’t funny AT ALL…!!!!
but yeah, that’s part of the reason why I like to read out loud–I like to make it interesting with my voice. When I was at UArts one of my friends told me that she liked it when I volunteered to read cause I made it interesting. Of course she had no idea how much that made my day to hear her say that!!!
I love reading out loud, too, but I never do volunteer. I am so weird! I generally just don’t go for things. I loved acting in high school, but I only ever auditioned for one play. And I felt so odd, the whole time, like I was being a complete attention hog, and show-off, even though I had never thought that about anyone else auditioning for things. Yeah, weird, and why am I going off on this tangent?
All this to say, I can totally relate, and I’m glad you got to read out loud!
well, that’s it. we should start a club, then. and in this club we will take turns reading out loud and there will be an understanding that we are not doing it to get attention, but rather for the sheer joy of it. And Emily–was the one play you ever auditioned for Our Town? And you got the lead?? Whoa girl, that’s amazing to do one play and just bam! get the lead…:)
yeah, I think it had to do more with Dave Saadeh and the fact that he wanted to try his hand at a little matchmaking!
hahaha, okay–but he wouldn’t have given you the role if he hadn’t thought you were actually talented!!!
Hey, I’m surprised no one mentioned the Latshaw disorder of laughing out loud when there is a tragedy!!!!! It’s a laughing disorder. It’s not yet in the DSM book of mental illnesses—–and maybe we’re the only ones who have it. Really inappropriate at times. It’s the main reason I usually don’t do funerals—I’ll send people to Neil or Bruce if they ask me to do one because they can do the right voice appropriately. I can’t.
I LOVE to read the Bible OUT LOUD!!!!!! I just feel it’s such a privilege to read the Bible and the words are so amazing, but to read it OUT LOUD is the best. I love it when I overhear Bruce reading the Bible out loud. So beautiful. Words are great.
I know, mom–but luckily for me I haven’t started laughing when something is really seriously terrible. Yet, anyway. And words are great–and that’s cute you love to overhear pop reading the Bible out loud!!!:)
Emily, you were amazing…”like silk off a spool”!!
Jessica,
And I get happy if its my night to do dishes and we end up ordering pizza cuz my sister or bro in law don’t wanna cook. Barely any dishes to wash!! talk about a major score!! LOL 
I am with you on the reading out loud thing. I LOVE IT!! I guess I am a bit of a show-off when it comes to that. I do the same exact thing..wait the appropriate amount of time and then volunteer. And yes, it makes me happy.
haha well that IS a major score!! I’d get happy too!!! And yep–you can be in my reading out loud club, too!!!
Hahahaha. Almost died. I do the same thing.
Also, I would buy a ticket to see your mirror face. I mean, depending on how much said ticket costs.
Nope, you wouldn’t. Or rather, you couldn’t. Cause you’d be on the list. The one that allows people to see my mirror face for free.
Oh and my brother Jonathan just told me I should go out and visit my friend Mandy hornbuckle, cause she seems so nice. I think this is a fab idea! Just gotta raise those funds:) but, eventually–yeah!!
WOAH. That would be super-cool. Both things. But if you come here, you could practice your mirror face in MY MIRROR. And I’ll give you constructive criticism. The Ellen D. kind, not the Simon C. kind.
haha well, that sounds like a great plan!!!
Well… it was 4/20. Just sayin’.
No… kidding, kidding! Seriously, it was great. You know what? Now I’m not ever going to forget about Epaphroditus and how he almost died. Ever.
haha that’s a good point! I won’t, either–LESSON LEARNED. Bam.
Don’t feel bad…I was at a wake praying the rosary when I heard someone fart. It took everything I had to not start cackling hystericaly…
oh my goodness. kudos to you for holding it together–I probably would have just lost it. It’s happened before. ON STAGE….so, chances are it could happen again…(and welcome, Irene!:))
Well, a GREAT opportunity to read aloud…for all those that love to do it, would be at A.I. DuPont Children’s Hospital. Kids LOVE to get read to. There is a big play room that needs lovely and willing volunteers!
Hey that’s good to know–I’ll ask you about that in more detail on Sunday, cause I’d be interested in doing that:)
Unfortunately, I will not be there on Sunday. I have to work:-(. Are you going on the retreat?