happy DBTDTB day.
Today I was in the grocery store and happened to see someone with whom I barely ever speak.
We both said hi. It was a sort of surprised kind of hi because neither of us expected to see each other in the refrigerated meat aisle (could there be an uglier aisle title out there?). If it were church, then we probably wouldn’t have said anything, really–both being very used to seeing each other across the way and saying nothing because who shouts HELLO!!! across three hundred chairs and a very loud worship song? But like I said, we were in the midst of refrigerated meat. No three hundred chairs. No loud worship song. And the only thing left to us was to talk.
I had, however, just gotten invisalign this morning. This is braces for people who are shy about braces, as my friend Shane puts it. And so I was not yet in the habit of speaking to people with them–not to mention the fact that I was not in the habit of speaking to this particular person at all.
So my hi was short and I was hoping to just stroll on by. Except after our initial greeting, he very loudly exclaimed, Ohhh! Which made me stop. It was the kind of noise that would make the animals at the zoo stop whatever it is they are doing and wonder if Ryan the Lion had finally bitten somebody like he’d been threatening to do since ’01.
And after this guy’s exclamation, he looked at me and asked, Are you a mother…yet? To which I said no and then he sadly told me that he would have liked to have wished me a happy mother’s day. I told him that I’d pass the sentiment on to my own mother, who is more than deserving of it in her own right, and that was that.
And then I told my brother Jason about the exchange, just cause I thought it was rather odd and we often like to tell each other about life’s oddities. To which he said that I should have said, No kids. But I DID get invisalign AND a divorce, so yay for me!!!
And then I asked him if there was a day for that.
To which Jase said, Screw Mother’s Day. You have your Divorced, Better Teethed, Dropped the Bum* Day!!!
And so Happy DBTDTB Day to me!
Catchy, isn’t it?
Hallmark better get on the ball and start making some cards. I could certainly help with the text, if necessary.
*nobody means anything very serious by the word bum here. We are simply using poetic license to emphasize humor. And also, no bums were actually hurt or injured in any way during the making of this blog post.
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as aisle, animals at the zoo, brother jason, day, initial greeting, Jason, kind, meat, mother, Ryan, saying nothing, Shane, worship song
When I said bum, I was obviously referring to that stuffed mannequin that Edna used to set up for Halloween in the entrance of Landhope Farms. Haha, remember how the name tag said “Bum” – that was always hilarious.
Oh man, does Edna still work there?
Anyway, if you were “celebrating” being a mother on Sunday, your situation would be sooo much more complicated. I truly thank God for that small miracle…
HOw could I forget Edna’s brain child, “Bum.” He was hysterical! And I have no idea if Edna still works there…I stopped there for gas once this past year and it took about a half hour to pump a few gallons, so I haven’t exactly rushed back since…Oh wait–nope. I went back once since then, but not for gas. Never for gas again.
And yes–maybe someday I will celebrate mother’s day, but I am grateful that it is not now, considering my situation.
Didn’t Shane once work there for like a week or something? Am I making this memory up?
And you’re celebrate mother’s day someday if that’s what you want, I know that for sure!
Yep–i think Shane took Bum’s place for a hot minute!!
And I hope so:)
Yeah – Shane did work there. And yeah, Edna has long ago stopped working there. And its not landhope anymore either. New ownership, new guy behind the counter. Jason – remember the Landhope by school where we’d occasionally sneak out from school and get coconut cream pies? I hear from reliable sources that you buy large quantities when you come East and take them back West. Is that true?
Christian, I love that you just gave us a little history of Kemblesville! Thanks:)
Wow, apparently Christian is the 896 Landhope Farms expert – I had no idea!
Yeah, really–Christian is that one of your ideas for a book??–The Annals and Archives of Landhope Farms (on 896).
Someone messed up at replying to a comment, didn’t she?
guilty.
Oh and look you did it again. This might be a red flag. Just check into it.
So guilty.
Oh and Christian – I talked about Tastykake just last night on my blog. You are definitely right.
Jason – slight dig in that last comment? Like – Christian maybe you should read my blog once in a while?!?!?
Haha, no Christian! Methinks the blogreader doth protest too much!!!!
definitely some latent guilt there…!
Happy DBTDTB to you Jess! You are awesome, and I pray to God that you realize it more and more every day! Let me know how the invisalign works out for you. I have to get braces soon…
thanks, Rachel!!
And so far, I like the invisalign a lot. A good amount of people who I’ve seen since getting them haven’t even noticed, which is what I was going for, being a singer and performer and such:)
oh, come ON, it’s not like it was actually Mother’s Day! Anyway, braces, huh? that’s something I was always supposed to do, too, but never did. I guess I’ll always have an overbite!
Jason is so funny! Happy DBTDTB Day indeed!
It’s funny how something traumatic in my life finally just made me do some of the things that I had always thought about but never gotten around to! But really, I don’t think going through life with an overbite is a very big deal at all:)
And thank you–and Happy (actual) Mother’s day to you! You deserve it:-)
DBTDTB-perfect name for a party:) and you are so cute with your braces!!!!:)
you are so sweet to say so, Sarah!!! and yep, there is a certain ring to that title, huh??
Ain’t no party like a DBTDTB Party!
Hahaha guess that’s true!
So funny! Since 0ver 50% of marriages end in divorce, there would be a huge response to this holiday. About time we recognize it.
ugh..I don’t love being lumped into those statistics…but yeah, I guess a lot of people would have a reason to celebrate this.
This is an example of why I never say anything to acquaintances that I bump into in the grocery store. You never know what conversational minefield you will be walking into.
In fact, better to never talk to anyone. Ever.
We need some invisalign pics.
Good policy;-)
And since the invisalign is clear, there’s nothing to really see…:/
I have never noticed that your teeth weren’t straight!
Michele, I subscribe to this opinion. Jessica has the straightest teeth of any Latshaw, and now she’s making them even better. (Jenna I’m exempting you from this statement)
Something about these horrific events made me wanna make them perfect…so…yeah!:)
Well that’s good news, M! It’s not like I’ve been snaggle-tooth central, but still!:)
Jessica – I’ve had braces TWICE in my life, and my teeth STILL aren’t straight!! And they keep on shifting!
So–are you thinking third time’s a charm?? Come on! We could start a kinship!!!
HA! The whole this is amusing to me. Chris had invisalign…you really don’t notice them at all. But his orthodontist is not the best, and he stopped wearing them. That’s the end of my story. Really exciting.
I HOPE Chris is adapting this true story into a screenplay, Elizabeth.
I second jase’s hope for that story, Elizabeth!!;-)
Haha! I love that you find humor in everything. Happy DBTDTB to you!
I didn’t even know you NEEDED braces. Your smile was beautiful! But I am very glad invisalign exists so you can get them without having them if you wanted them.
Well thank you and thank you! And yep–hopefully I’ll only be in them for nine months:)
Funny how people say random things like that, not even thinking that what they’re saying could be a major blow to someone…people inadvertently do that to me sometimes too, so I’m always careful to never say something too personal to someone who I haven’t seen in a while, or don’t know a lot about…cause you just never know, do you? I know what it’s like for someone to unintentionally send an arrow straight to your heart…never all that fun
However, at the Walmart today the clerk said “happy mother’s day if you’re a mother” and that just doesn’t seem like smart planning to me either, I know she’s trying to be nice, but not knowing anything about my life situation, that’s a potentially dangerous thing to say to someone…I just asked her if it counted if I was a mother to two cats…
But people who haven’t been in that sort of situation just don’t think about stuff like that…
Yeah, I know what you mean…and I try to look at the heart behind people’s words–even if they sound insensitive, sometimes they come from good intentions…:) and happy kitty cat mother’s day to you, J9:-)
I try to look at the heart behind people’s words
Something we all appreciate about you.
J9, I kind of half-seriously-half-jokingly made a similar comment above. Serious, because I know that I try to be careful too – but joking, because if I’m not careful, I’ll slide into never saying anything significant to anyone. I don’t think that this is a temptation for you, but I could easily see myself just talking fluff so as not to ruffle any feathers.