the next best thing to dancing on the street is changing on the street.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as 5th avenue, aisles, dressing rooms, five minutes, leggings, parenthetical statement, salvation army, short dress, sidewalk, wardrobe
Remember when winter missed its cue, so–not wanting the stage to just be empty–spring jumped on and started to dance?
That happened today, in fact.
And what a dance it did.
It was so very beguiling, actually, that I left my apartment with bare legs underneath my dress. Which was a good idea for about five minutes. Then, I realized it was kind of still too cold for that kind of nonsense. Luckily, I had grabbed a pair of leggings and shoved them in my bag, anticipating this kind of wardrobe regret.
I was on my way to meet with a lawyer.
(yes, I am suing SO MANY PEOPLE; in fact, I stopped at McDonald’s on the way and intentionally burnt my tongue on their coffee. Cause I am smart and crafty. I am also totally joking. I am not suing a soul, promise; it’s music stuff. I am suing music. For being so awesome. I am still kidding. And still in this parenthetical statement. Until now)
But I was meeting with a lawyer, and I didn’t want to show up looking stupid in my short dress without anything on my legs. Plus: I was cold. So, there I was on 8th Ave, having just come up from the subway, and looking for a place to quickly put my leggings on under my dress.
I didn’t find anything that screamed, COME CHANGE HERE! NOBODY WILL SEE!, so I just decided to slip into those pants as fast as I could on the sidewalk. I am used to such things–quick changes and trying clothes on in the aisles of the Salvation Army, since it has no dressing rooms.
I get it done so fast. Nobody sees a thing. Nobody sees anything inappropriate, anyway. They might see a person putting on pants, but beyond that, it was an innocuous moment that ended with me much warmer and my legs much happier.
I need to get to 5th Avenue, so I ask the first guy I see which direction that is.
“Were you just…changing?” he asks, completely side-stepping my question.
“Uh…yeah, I guess I was,” I answer.
“Cause I just said to myself, ‘There’s a beautiful woman. Changing. On 8th Avenue,” he says, laughing a little.
“Um, thanks for calling me beautiful, and my legs were cold, and I didn’t really change, per se, just added a layer–but do you know which way 5th Avenue is?” I say, ending in my initial question, cause I still don’t know.
“Yeah, I’ll walk you in that direction,” he says, crossing the street with me and pointing me towards 5th Avenue.
He hesitates before he leaves, so I stop, too. “Look,” he says, “I gotta do this–” and he hands me his card. “I’m a fan of you now and I’d really like to have coffee sometime. Call me?”
I laugh as I walk towards 5th Avenue. I realize that I do really strange things sometimes, like (sort of ) change on 8th avenue. Someday I will be closer to normal, I promise. Oh, who am I kidding, no I won’t. Probably not ever.
Because it doesn’t exist.
I know better.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as accordion, baby, brooklyn, cab driver, cake shop, conversation, doozy, happenstance, nobody, one of those days, question, random news, right, something, SPEAKER--if, sweet lady, tdbank, vowel
Right now, I am laying in a bed with freshly washed sheets, thinking about the things I said recently that made me sound rather moronic. Like, when I asked the guy in Brooklyn–WHEN HE WAS CLEARLY LUGGING AROUND A SPEAKER–if that was his accordion.
He had told me that he played the organ and something about the vowel sounds in organ made me think of the word accordion, and so, when I ran into him a little bit later by happenstance, I asked, “Oh! is THAT your accordion, then?”
Looking at the black, rectangular speaker that he was rolling around via dolly, he quietly answered, “It’s actually a speaker.”
I know that. I KNOW that. I know the difference between a speaker and an accordion. Oh, man.
But, that’s not nearly as bad as last night, when I asked a sweet lady the question that I know nobody should ask. Not unless you actually SEE a baby crowning, do you assume a woman is pregnant.
But, what did I do last night? After I played at the Cake Shop, I met a couple who just missed my performance because a cab driver had gotten them lost (and they aren’t from the city). Often, I try to talk to people about themselves; I don’t like all the attention on me, so I will include their lives in the conversation. So I said, “Oh my gosh! And you’re pregnant?!”
“No…I just had a baby…”
What do you say then? JUST KIDDING? You can’t. I ran right on ahead to the congratulations part of the conversation, but still.
I KNOW NOT TO ASSUME THAT.
Just like I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SPEAKER AND AN ACCORDION.
Now to actually act like I know these things, I suppose.
Oh well, the good (and random) news is that my sheets are clean. And so are my clothes at the moment.
Tomorrow is one of those days that is a bit of a doozy. A good doozy, don’t get me wrong, but a doozy, nonetheless. I have a rehearsal for an industrial gig for TDBank from 6-10 pm (which I am in charge of! Hello, my name is Jessica and I hardly like to be in charge of anything. Except maybe decorating my family’s Christmas tree. And, okay, some baking projects)–and right after that, I have to run on over to Sleep No More’s Story Telling concert in which I am getting all fancified up for in a vintage dress, some fishnets, and heels (thanks for the kicks, Bets!). While there, I will sing some songs–one of them being an eminem song on the ukulele. Another one being Sweet Child of Mine on the uke. And then another in which I get to play the piano (thank goodness!) and am just singing some background vocals (thank goodness again!).
I am actually really excited for it. Collaborating with other musicians–super talented musicians–is like getting to share the wealth. Wealth being music, in this case.
Hopefully, during this doozy of a day I will not say anything extraordinarily ignorant, rude, or stupid.
Here’s hoping.
all dressed up with a ukulele.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, there are pictures here
as breakfast, breakfast meeting, care, catwalk, courage, dear friends, event, fashion, fashion event, first meeting, heck outta, japanese man, kind, kind lady, makeup, musical sense, someone, tomorrow, uke, ukulele, Voice
I am so tired right now and I have to get up for a breakfast meeting in the morning. And then I have two shows…so, right. This post will be short. A very kind lady did my makeup for the pre-shows fashion event tonight. “I have googled you,” she told me, upon first meeting. “It [...]
keeping it real. fo real fo real.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as big gaping holes, chance, cheese, closet, dark closet, decision, everything, expert, frog, frog skeleton, husbands and wives, little frog, magic wand, maze, messy closet, need, powerful words, purse, safety pin, safety pins
I’ve stopped carrying a purse. I now shove everything I need into my pockets and hope for the best. Considering my purse is being held together by safety pins–and still has big gaping holes in some places (a safety pin is no magic wand, after all)–I figure this is a good decision. I don’t understand [...]
observations.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as altoid, headshot, hot guy, iphone, laundry room, night rehearsals, one of these days, planning a wedding, russian tea room, ukulele
I am ridiculously tired. I just spent an hour practicing my ukulele. that laundry room sure comes in handy for late night rehearsals. I recorded a song with my iphone. More than once, actually. Cause, I thought I had a good take, and then had to record the thing all over again cause my sixth [...]
got straps?
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as apartment, back pack, backpack, breaking my heart, car, conviction, disappointment, dolly, everything, Free, gig bag, grip, pack, pack straps, repeat, revelation, sam ash, today, use, zippers
I don’t quite remember when it was that I got my red keyboard, but I’ve had it for months now. Months and months. Not a full year yet, but definitely months. And I have been toting it one-handed all the while. Never knowing it could be any different. Never realizing that life was only one tiny [...]
the human pack unicorn.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, there are pictures here, Thoughts and Feelings
as anyone, ballet classes, beach boys, canvas tote bag, ease, faith belief, freedom, gotta, horse, important date, pack, pack horse, penn station, player, purse, someone, train station, ukulele, unicorn, white rabbit
You guys. I really need to take up a very tiny instrument. One that fits into my pocket, preferably. One that doesn’t make me look like this at the train station: Cause right now I am lugging around: a keyboard, a ukulele, a suitcase, a purse, and a canvas tote bag. I think I will [...]
patience and safety pins.
in Funny Stuff, I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
as apartment, armor, bathroom, buste, c est la vie, gist, green jeans, knight, knight in shining armor, new friend, pair, personal assistant, prospective clients, purse, replacement, safety pin, safety pins, sun, today
My zipper totally busted today. While I was out. Well, I was actually in. In the bathroom of a new friend’s apartment. And I was taking an extraordinarily long time in said bathroom. Because I kept trying to zip. up. my. fly. So finally I just walked out of the bathroom and explained the situation [...]
I am not a millionaire, but I did do an interview at Z100 and that’s something, I guess.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, there are pictures here, Thoughts and Feelings
as beater, chinese character, coffee shop, contact, elvis duran, facebook, freak, freak out, gift, love, Modell, neon sign, planet, pop, red balloon, show, undershirts, WANTS, who wants to be a millionaire, Yep, yoga teacher, z100
Here’s some irony: Today, I get a facebook message from someone, telling me that he’s glad I’m “a millionaire now.” And so, let me tell you what this millionaire went and did. Tried to buy one of those packs of men’s undershirts at Modell’s because I forgot a shirt to wear to class tonight. And [...]
on the television and what I think and how I accidentally almost stole my cabbie’s identity today.
in Funny Stuff, I Lift My Eyes Up, Performance
as best compliments, bridge, cabbie, choruses, Eat, fare, fox studios, God, idea, mc hammer, onset, phone, second verse, sense of direction, song, sound of the rain, television, today, Touch, ukulele, vampire, Vampires, verse
Take it in. Breathe. Eat. Sleep. These are phrases–no, commands!–that I am hearing an awful lot of recently. And I am trying; really, I am. Would you like to know what, exactly, I was ‘taking in’ while I was playing and singing on the tv this morning? Why the heck did I write such a [...]
