thank you, but, no.
in Funny Stuff
as AMOUNT, blank stare, few minutes, gig, gigs, honest mistake, mass, mass texts, musicians, nakedness, New York City, open mics, person, Philly, phone, response, shot, sort, time, VERY, wrong person
So, this has happened once before, but it was an honest mistake, and so I let it go as that.
But.
It recently happened again, and this time, it was a little more…awkward, I guess.
See, it is commonplace to exchange phone numbers with other musicians. Especially when they get you a gig in Philly. Which was the case in the situation with…well, I’ll just call him Jim.
So I get a text from Jim. He sends out a good amount of mass texts about his gigs and open mics in the area, so this was not so weird. Except that when I open it, I see a picture. A VERY INAPPROPRIATE PICTURE. I am rather shocked, not being used to seeing these things, and then delete it. It has a message that is clearly meant for someone else, so I text Jim back, letting him know that he sent this particular text to the wrong person.
“Sorry for my nakedness,” he writes. “And who is this?”
So I tell him who I am, and think it’s over.
Until I get another text from him a few minutes later.
“Since I have your attention, do you mind if I send you another shot I took of myself, so you can give me “your” opinion?”
Blank stare.
And now I am frustrated because, clearly, I am gonna have to be sort of rude. Or at least let him down. And I don’t like to be rude–to anyone. Which is one of my problems. I will be as nice as pie to people who are being very inappropriate. Not even New York City has cured me of this. Yet, I suppose.
I try to decide how to word my response. I take my time, because my mom has always taught me not to rush into anything. Which includes, I suppose, telling someone that you don’t want to see his naked picture. Although, I am pretty sure she was not envisioning this particular situation when she warned me to take my time.
So, finally I send him this:
“Oh, I’m not trying to be rude, but I think that I don’t know you very well, and would rather keep it to pictures with clothes on, if that’s okay.”
I press send and wait.
……
And then he tells me that he’ll “see me ’round.”
Very casually, just like that.
I lay my phone aside and wonder how in the world I get into these kinds of weird situations. And then I tell my sister about it, who, for probably the hundredth time, tells me that I’m way too nice.
if I were to teach yoga, I would definitely incorporate the hippo.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as blank stare, brother jonathan, church, class, dance class, drama camp, frog, gazelles, hippo, Yep
For the past two weeks, my brother Jonathan has been running a children’s drama camp at our church. But please be specific about it. It’s a drama camp, not a theater camp. Not at all.
Because when I asked my nephew Ollie how he was enjoying theater camp, he gave me a blank stare before asking, “What’s theater camp?”
And I was like, “Uh…it’s the camp you’ve been going to for almost two weeks now.”
And then he smiled as it dawned on him, “Do you mean drama camp?” he corrected me.
Yep, that’s what I meant, alright. Silly me.
But today I taught a dance class to all the kids. And they were hilarious. And enthusiastic. They yelled out things that I never would have thought of myself. Cause see, if you get any comparisons to animals at all while you are dancing, it is to the ones who are more graceful. You hope, anyway. Like gazelles. Or even panthers. But while we were doing a little walk in place during the warm-up, just rolling the hips from side to side slightly as we rolled through our feet, one kid yelled out, “Oh. A hippo.”
And I started to laugh because, well, a hippo. I had never thought this particular move looked anything like a hippo, but sure. A hippo.
And then we started doing some plies and the same kid yells out, “Oh. Now a frog.” And again, sure. A frog. Why not? Why the heck not a frog? Works for me, I suppose.
But I think my favorite quote was something Jonathan told me that one of the campers said to him right after my dance class. The boy walks up to him and confidently says, “Huh. I’d never done yoga before, but I have to say it was my favorite part of the camp!”
Hahahahahahahaha. I don’t know if I should break it to him that he’s actually still never done yoga.
But at least it was his favorite part.
And maybe now he can say that his two favorite yoga poses are The Hippo and The Frog.
