First page of the Borders archive.

story

Posted by jessica on Oct 8, 2009 with No Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
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Yesterday I spent three whole hours all by myself at Borders.

Okay, so not quite by myself. I parked myself at the apex of a small triangle of overstuffed chairs and the three of us were only too happy to politely ignore each other in shared communal silence.
I read a book. A whole book. Well I skimmed some of it, but got into the anecdotes that described how Brenda would often accuse her husband of simply lazing away the evening in his favorite chair in front of the tv and not investing in the family. But once she started changing her prose to “I am so grateful that you work so hard every day for our family and are such a good provider. I can see that all that hard work makes you tired at the end of the day. What do you think about scheduling some family time together in the evening when you feel up to it?” her husband started responding to the praise and actually initiating family time.
And what do you know, but Brenda and her husband were much happier.
I’m guessing the kids were, too, though nobody mentioned them.
I get into those kinds of stories, and yeah it was a book on marriage. How to be a good wife. Or how to be a better wife, since I’d venture to say that I am not half bad right now. Though I guess I am not the one who makes that decision.
But no, I didn’t buy that book.
I did, however, buy Donald Miller’s (Blue Like Jazz) new book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. I’d already read the first 30 pages online, because I LOVE this guy’s writing that much, and not buying the book, hardback or no, really wasn’t even an option for me.
Let me tell you, it was a good decision.
It’s cutting into my David Sedaris reading, true, but I will get back to you, David; I will, my word is good. Especially if you keep writing about Helen who lives on the floor above you and curses like a sailor and gives you sewing machines just to spite the guy who lives above her who actually wants a sewing machine. Cause these stories that narrate the human experience keep bringing me back for more.
But back to Donald Miller. Now he’s writing all about story, what makes a good story and what doesn’t; why a movie in which a man really wants a volvo and finally, right before the credits role, drives off the used car lot with a volvo doesn’t actually make for the kind of story that moves you so much.
And Don talks about how he goes to this conference in Hollywood and a famous man lectures about the arc, essence, and structure of story for thirty-six hours, leaving Don and his friend with this:
“A character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it is the basic structure of a good story.”

And I am still just under the first 60 pages, but already he has mentioned how we can choose to live a good story. That everybody has a story, but they all vary drastically. And that the ultimate theme of our story really is under our control.
And this, already, has brought me hope.
Here’s to another 200 pages of more good stuff.

I’ll probably eat a hamburger next 4th of July too

Posted by jessica on Jul 4, 2009 with No Comments
in Thoughts and Feelings
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I don’t know why I am so exhausted.

Maybe because I have been doing a lot of this.
Well, that’s actually Drew and our nephew Ollie. But still. I did it, too.
Just not as much as them.
And maybe that’s why my ribs are hurting so much still.
But enough about the ribs, right?
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Drew is currently playing a cd that we bought on our honeymoon in California. We bought it because it’s a classical artist, William Joseph (who has one of those names in which the first and last are interchangeable, making it really easy to mix up and call him Joseph William by mistake and yes, I’ve done it more than once), who happens to cover Muse, a band we really love.
The music brings me back to the Borders where we found it. And how excited Drew was to buy it. And how we immediately played it in our rented convertible red punch buggy complete with a flower on the dash that was supposed to have been a mustang convertible.
Turns out the fine print basically said that as long as the top comes down, they could rent you anything. And yes, Drew was a little sad that the mustang he thought he was gonna cruise around in was a girlie bug instead.
I didn’t mind so much, though.
And red happens to be one of my favorite colors, so…
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It’s the 4th of July. I ate a cheeseburger with friends. I watched some fireworks with more friends and family. I unintentionally wore a blue tank top and white shorts.
But even though I considered throwing something red into the mix, I changed shortly after, so it didn’t last long.
The thing is, I really enjoyed the cheeseburger. It was delicious. And another thing is that I have a great amount of respect for vegetarians. A lot of the time I wish I could be one of them, I really do. I like the idea of not eating animals. Of eating tons of vegetables and Not Dogs and Boca Burgers. Of ketchup smothering it all so I don’t hardly notice a difference anyway.
But.
I think everyone has a different journey and I fully believe that mine involves eating meat.
I. Just. Need. It.
Sometimes I get so hungry that the only thing that will satisfy me is meat. Chicken. Hamburgers. Steak. Ribs. Whatever, but something that is chock full of protein and will not leave me waking up at 3 am in search of something–anything!–to tide me over till morning.
Cause it happens, believe me.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Like I said, I have very admirable friends who are vegetarians and I would love to join their club. But I can’t. Not now, anyway.
Not unless I can eat a hamburger while I take minutes for them.