most of the time.
in Funny Stuff, I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
as brother jason, cash money, earth and sun, emotional kind, endorphins, family, handstands, kind, mad at the world, money, physical exertion, sky, something, stand by me, subway, sun, sun and sky, time, tonight today, training
I was really happy to see some special family members who are visiting from the too-far-away West Coast. It’s earth and sun and sky to be with them, believe me.
And I was really happy to get back to training in capoeira tonight.
Today has been a strange and emotional kind of day. I felt a little bit mad at the world, too. Just a little bit. But then I got to class and I got to move. MOVE. And it was hot and it hurt and it was perfect. I got to forget about what I was feeling–or rather, I got to feel something else. Endorphins. And physical exertion.
And I have to say, I have been forcing myself to practice my handstands against a wall every day lately, and tonight my handstands were better. I actually stayed in the air for a bit.
Just a bit, but I’ll take it.
And while waiting in the subway tonight–waiting in the HOTTTTTTTT subway–someone made me laugh. He was standing there, playing his guitar, hustling the crowd a little for some cash money and singing Stand By Me when, next thing I know he’s moved so he’s standing directly in front of me. And talking to me.
The poor guy looks like he’s positively melting, he’s sweating so profusely, but I try to ignore his dripping on the floor in front of me as I listen to what he has to say.
“You might find this strange, but…what are the odds of getting your name, number, and a date before your train pulls up?”
I smile.
And then I tell him that my boyfriend would probably not like that.
(my boyfriend–one of which my brother Jason assures me I have tons of–boys who care about me a lot. Therefore it’s not technically lying…)
“I knew it!” he says. “I knew you’d have a boyfriend…”
And then he goes on to say that because he’s sweating so much, he’s not gonna let me throw myself at him. You know, get all up on him.
“Not now,” he says. “Not when I’m like this…”
I pretend to look very sad and say I understand his policy and so will refrain.
And then burst out laughing.
Cause it was funny.
And funny can be heartening.
Funny makes me feel a little less mad at the world.
Actually it reminded me that the world really isn’t so bad.
Which is what I told my dear friend Christine’s brand new baby boy Silas, when I held him last night.
“Welcome to the world, Silas. It’s really a wonderful place…most of the time.”
And it is.
Most of the time.
can-do.
in Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as body, brother jason, dance class, fancy schmancy, ground, jesus christ superstar, les miz, occasional dance, pop, recording, schmancy, soreness, sound of laughter, studio, tailbone, tips of my fingers, ukelele, wrist
The tips of my fingers hurt from playing the ukelele. They hurt so good. Cause I’m playing the ukelele! Oh, it’s great fun. And work. For me, those things generally tend to go together.
Ever since I came to New York City, I have been soundly beating my body up. I am not lying when I say that I am sore almost every day. I owe a lot of my soreness to capoeira. And yoga, too. And the occasional dance class. Which is $18 a pop and thus, occasional. But right now my right wrist is hurting due to my friend taking me down hard in class on Sunday.
It’s okay, it’s all a part of playing the game, see. In capoeira, you don’t call it fighting, you call it playing. And sometimes when you play, you get knocked onto the ground very suddenly. And you try to catch yourself with your wrist. But your wrist is a lot smaller than the rest of your body–or haven’t you noticed? Just trust me when I say that it is. So then your wrist hurts. Along with your ankle. And lately, your tailbone, too.
But all the hurting is worth it.
Which can also be said about living in general.
Today, I got to go to a fancy schmancy recording studio near my old digs in Chelsea. I recorded some vocals for the broadway warm-up, and I have to say, it was a blast. I LOVE to record. I love to stand in that booth with the earphones on and the microphone hot and sing. At one point, the producer had to stop me, though. “There was an interfering noise,” he said, all professional sounding. “Was there some sort of pop or explosion?”
And then I thought about it.
And knew just what he meant.
“Um, yeah…My ankle cracked when I did a plie.”
Enter: the sound of laughter from the control room.
And gosh, I am such a dancer.
I have always loved singing into microphones. I used to sneak down to my brother Jason’s room while he was at school and turn on the mic he had and just sing my heart out. I’d go from Les Miz to Jesus Christ Superstar to U2. And then since I was already being sneaky, I’d take out his prize collection of matchbox cars and play with them, too. The little porsche was always my favorite. The doors opened. I have a weakness for tiny doors that open, I guess.
Anyway, I felt lucky to be recording in that nice studio.
I have also been quite disciplined about my handstands lately. I do them every day, against a wall. I remember when I couldn’t even do that. I remember in college thinking that I would never be able to do that. And now I do it with ease. This makes me wonder what else I think I cannot do, but actually can, given the right dose of practice and courage.
It’s an exciting thought.
chase your dreams (you will fail).
in Thoughts and Feelings
as arms and legs, brother jason, CHASE, d hand, face, good, gossamer thread, guts, hand, LeSabre, love, mash, penchant, silly creatures, store, those eyes, thoughts and dreams, unicorn, way
Oh shoot. I just laid down in my bed and happened to glance up at the ceiling only to see a spider directly above me. Perched. Were he to glide down his gossamer thread, he’d be right near my face. This is no good, I tell you; no good at all. But I am really [...]
math. it’s everywhere!
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as addition subtraction, Aunt, aunt sally, bad jokes, bass cleff, brother jason, division, good, good boys, GRE, Line, math portion, meter, sentence, technique, three beats, time, time signatures, Uplifting, vote of confidence
I am currently studying a book called Cracking the GRE, and I just started the math portion. One sentence reads: “Hopefully, you realize that numbers are either positive or negative.” Thank you for the vote of confidence. And if I didn’t, I certainly wouldn’t admit that now. Not after you said that. (but I did [...]
fashion.
in Thoughts and Feelings
as blog, brother jason, buds, Christian Bale, clothing, crazy outfits, day, fashion, foot, foot apparel, labor day, newsies, oliver, oliver twist, reflection, skin, skin tone, sneakers, tee, way
Okay, so yesterday I was getting ready for church. I pulled out a turquoise dress to wear over a cream colored little tee with faded branches and cherry buds throughout. I also wore my oliver twist boots that have replaced my favorite sneakers (until I find them, for find them, I will) as my most [...]
sunday funday. and that title even annoys me.
in Funny Stuff, Loved Ones, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
as Auto, brother jason, Draft, great white shark, learning the guitar, little chair, little seal, nearby vicinity, purple socks, skinny jeans, sunday funday, tiny chair
Shark week is on right now. Literally. As in the television is turned on and people are oohing! and ahhing! over the size of those jaws. And teeth. And look at that poor little seal. One summer while we were at the beach, my brother Jason lent me the book about the great white shark [...]
not gonna do it. sorry.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as brother jason, business, day, diatribe, friend, God, Jason, job, one of the guys, perfect sense, record, Shane, something, ten feet
Sometimes I skip one day of blogging and my brother Jason thinks I must have died or something. And sometimes I say something that makes perfect sense in the context of whatever it is I am talking about, but when isolated, it can sound pretty bad. Or funny, depending upon how you look at it. [...]
so this is easter.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
as brother jason, candles, colors, day, Easter, easter sunday, Eggs, Eve, God, Jason, kinship, little bits, love, method, nobody, pretty pictures, something, thumbnail, ukrainians, upload, wax, way
*updated to include the pic now; thanks for fixing it, Jase! I have pretty pictures to upload here. Of eggs, dyed lovely colors. And I have a thumbnail that is dyed orange to prove that I, along with some friends, dyed those eggs. And even decorated them in a way that used wax and candles [...]
