what. an. offer.
in Funny Stuff, there are pictures here, Thoughts and Feelings
as Boundaries, business, business man, envelopes, fifties, girl, hug, Humans, life, midtown, muscles, penn station, place, seventh avenue, something, sunny day, super bowl, tch, thread, weekend
These pictures have nothing whatsoever to do with what I’m about to write. Except for the fact that they are pictures of me, and well, I am writing about my life. So I suppose there is some thread of connection, after all. And, oh, they are from when I played Fashion Delivers last weekend.
Anyway.
Today was an interesting, sunny day.
Lots of people out and about.
I mean, it is New York City. The place is jam-packed with people. That’s partly why I love it. Humans are fascinating, I think. Never boring. Especially not today.
First, there is the guy outside Penn Station. He comes out of nowhere and envelopes me in a huge hug. My sense of boundaries are pushed and prodded with that one, I have to admit. But he is nice enough. Says something about my smile and the angels. But then he mentions football, so I am confused. Maybe he is still high on the super bowl win or something, I don’t know.
Then, there is the guy in midtown, on seventh avenue. Looks to be somewhere in his fifties. A business man, dressed up and stuff.
He slowly walks up to me. “You are so exotic,” he tells me, making this Pennsylvania born and bred girl laugh a little. “I just love your sense of style, too,” he mentions, and I thank him. “You’re from here?” he asks, and I nod my head, not wanting to delve into where I’m from with him, so here suits me just fine. Sure, I’m from seventh avenue today.
“Well,” he continues, “You probably want some young guy–with muscles and all that–but that’s overrated.”
I just listen.
“Would you do me a favor?” he asks, before saying, “If I give you my number and promise you that I will be the best white b*tch you’ve ever had, will you call me?”
Is this happening? I wonder and then realize he’s actually waiting for an answer.
Waiting for me to either accept or refute his offer to be the BEST WHITE B*TCH I’VE EVER HAD. I am not sure there’s any competition; I am not sure, in fact, that I’ve ever even had one, to be honest.
I quickly mumble something about how my *boyfriend* would not like that.
The guy leans in and lowers his voice, “But he wouldn’t have to know,” he tells me, like we two could share the best secret known to man.
Oh, what fun.
“That wouldn’t work for me,” I tell him. “I’m honest.”
He looks disappointed and starts to walk away, but before he does, he asks, “Your boyfriend–how old is he?
“Twenty-seven,” I say, pulling a number out of the air.
He shakes his head. “You shoulda been with a twenty-seven year old when you were in high school,” he mutters as he makes his exit.
I don’t think my parents would agree with that sentiment.
And that might have been the weirdest exchange I’ve had with a stranger to date. Or at least, it’s in the top three, I’d say.
Gosh, best white b*tch I’ve ever had.
And I walked away, folks; just walked away.
THANK GOD.
managed and stuff.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as beautiful people, bouquet, business, contact, eaves, floorboards, gifts god, hard time, house, kind, life, Manager, music business, open doors, porch, quietness, reason, someone, time
I played the piano for a long time tonight. I played until the snow covered the floorboards of my parents’ porch; covered the wooden eaves of the house; covered the whole world, it seemed.
Snow happens every year; but it always feels new, anyway. I like the parts of life that are like that; the parts that make my eyes widen in wonder while the rest of me feels all of seven years old again.
I am now working with a manager. He is kind and funny and smart and moves things along. He has worked with people whose names are now brands, basically. He says I am magical; to contact him, contact him, contact him. For any reason.
I have a hard time with this kind of stuff sometimes. There is a part of me that is not magical or adorable or even likable, really. It is the part that is insecure. The part that does not want to be a burden–not to anyone–but, especially not to someone who knows more about the music business than I do about the color of my hair. Which isn’t saying much, lately, because I really am not quite sure what color my hair is.
But, this is the part of life when I step it up. I see the open doors and I walk through them. Like I belong there. I do not quietly hang back, as is my nature–I take whatever has been given me and I weave it into a bright and shiny LIFE. Quietness and hanging back has its place, sure–but usually just when you’re at a wedding and the bride is about to toss the bouquet. THAT IS THE TIME TO BE QUIET AND HANG BACK.
Not when you have a manager who is now on your team. Wants you to succeed. Believes that you will. You effing will.
And then there is the part of you that believes that you have, you effing have. You know it when you look inside your heart and find all the beautiful people there. When you realize that you’re doing what you can with the gifts God has given you. When you continue to be you–because that’s all any of us ever can be. That’s the highest calling.
To be the best darn you imaginable.
Cheers to that.
And to my manager.
Cause he’s really very great.
caught.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as all sorts, Boundaries, business, but, car, dime, dyckman, gestures, getting a girlfriend, half, kind, Line, nod, priorities, starbursts, subway, subway car, sweet business, THINK, WOULD
It’s awkward when: You are sitting on the subway, minding your own sweet business, and a guy boards. The car is basically empty and he sits right. next. to. you. Not a good sign, you think, but you’ve been wrong before, so maybe you’re wrong again. You hope so, anyway. But then he starts talking. [...]
these bullets render segues obsolete, apparently.
in Thoughts and Feelings
as bakeries, business, case in point, conversation with a wall, dangerous combination, decembers, good conversation, goodwill, healing time, help, joy, kind, lit christmas tree, peace and goodwill, pot, random observations, Seriously, Shiny, time, tree, wrapping gifts
I think I could have a pretty good conversation with a wall. I mean, it’d be one-sided, I guess, but still–I could keep the talk coming. Which means that I think some guys feel, um, encouraged simply because we can talk. The truth is that I can talk to a lot of people. Doesn’t mean I [...]
It’ll do. All of it.
in Performance
as behavior, body, brooklyn, business, cheese, good behavior, grand idea, grilled cheese sandwich, Honestly, kind, Leão, nobody, open mic, rap, subway, tomato, tomato soup, uke, ukulele, Village
What a night. I got a Facebook message from a guy I met at an open mic in the Village a few weeks ago. “I’m hosting an open mic in Brooklyn,” he wrote. “Will you come and play? There’s no piano, but we sure can mic a ukulele like nobody’s business.” So, first I hung [...]
strange (and wonderful) as fiction.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as advil, advil pm, boom box, business, Chuckie, everything, feeling the same way, girl, idea, kind, open mic, own pizza, poker face, stage, story, therapy session, trombonist, way
I really wonder where to start. I remember feeling the same way at my first therapy session. Luckily for me, there was this one glaring, um, situation that led me–no, more like paraded me! With banners and balloons and countless advil pm’s later!–into my therapist’s office, so I had an idea of where to start, but still. [...]
big bird.
in Funny Stuff, Performance
as angel wings, big bird, bird show, business, bustle, equivalent, feather, feather fans, funny life, kind, moment, peacock, reason, sharpie, show business, tape, way
Show business is hilarious. I love it. And I can’t think of many other places where you learn how to manipulate huge feather fans while at work. For some reason, there is one fan that is different than all the rest. And yep, it’s mine. And what’s different about it, is that it has a [...]
a show and stuff.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as Bronx, business, cab, cab driver, Carrington, city, fingers, Jess, kind, music business, nobody, show, time, vegan desserts, way
I played a show tonight. The piano was less than in tune, but I coaxed some music out of it anyway. Poor little old thing; nobody’s perfect, right? People came and listened, which is always so amazing. Someone even told me they cried. Fingers crossed that it wasn’t because of the out of tune piano. [...]
fancy-schmancy.
in Funny Stuff
as business, business card, conferences, fancy schmancy, Guy, how to pick up girls, kind, love, No--like, number, own business, phone, phone number, professional, reminder, stop, subway, trash, while
“I think I got hit on by…like, a professional or something.” “What?” Leao asked. “What do you mean, a professional?” “Well, he had a fancy card.” “A business card?” “No–like, a social card, I think. It was a card with just the guy’s first name and his phone number on it.” “Well, what happened?” And [...]
crafty stuff.
in Performance
as AMOUNT, bunch, business, business cards, event, glue, golden retriever, info, janine, Jess, local musicians, networking event, receipt, retriever, right, Shane, silence, something, statuses, way
A few of us went to a music schmoozy thing. What’s that? Well, it’s a networking event for local musicians. Otherwise known as a music schmoozy thing, right? The Paper Janes have no business cards. We have been known to write down our info on a napkin. Or maybe it was a receipt. Well, it [...]
