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	<title>This Life in Writing &#187; chain</title>
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		<title>Ingrid, live.</title>
		<link>http://www.thislifeinwriting.com/2010/03/ingrid-live/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thislifeinwriting.com/2010/03/ingrid-live/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:01:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jessica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Performance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thoughts and Feelings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[everybody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[everything]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ingrid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ingrid Michaelson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Japan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jokester]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laugh track]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[michaelson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[place]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[place in my heart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[small man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[song]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thread]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thislifeinwriting.com/?p=1270</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So, Ingrid Michaelson. I have to say she was worth everything it took to go see her. Not that it was a lot on my part, per se. Especially when compared to the times you hear about people doing some street side vigils to get tickets. Or staying on the phone for hours. Or paying [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So, Ingrid Michaelson.</p>
<p>I have to say she was worth everything it took to go see her. Not that it was a lot on my part, per se. Especially when compared to the times you hear about people doing some street side vigils to get tickets. Or staying on the phone for hours. Or paying a lot more than $27.</p>
<p>But still, it was worth getting bumped into over and over again by the guy to my right who might have been five feet on a good day. Not that I hold anyone&#8217;s height (or lack thereof) against them. I mean, my own dear momma is not that tall, let&#8217;s face it. But she doesn&#8217;t spend all night long making loud announcements and then laughing hysterically at herself before she&#8217;s even finished the sentence. And this, in addition to all the hapless bumping into me.</p>
<p>And oh, here&#8217;s a tip: if you are the <em>only one </em>laughing at what you just said then there is a very strong possibility that you are just. not. funny.</p>
<p>Or that you are high.</p>
<p>Which was why I was not so sad when me and this continual jokester-complete-with-his-own-laugh-track ended up not standing next to each other by the time Ingrid Michaelson came out on stage. I can only say that I hope whoever eventually did stand next to him appreciated his jokes as much as I had.</p>
<p>But back to Ingrid, because she was great.</p>
<p>And really funny.</p>
<p>And didn&#8217;t bump into me once.</p>
<p>Proving that those two things can be done, small man who was <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">maybe </span> definitely high, I hope you&#8217;re listening.</p>
<p>And it&#8217;s a rare treat when you get to hear an artist who sounds better live than she does on her recordings. And it&#8217;s not like she sounds shabby on the recordings, either.</p>
<p>But she has a special place in my heart. I started listening to her while I was in Japan. A dear friend, Mindy, introduced me to her one day while we were both laying on the dressing room floor, wishing that we didn&#8217;t have another show to do in just an hour. She asked me if I wanted to hear the beautiful song she was listening to and I&#8217;m pretty sure I&#8217;m never gonna say no to a question like that.</p>
<p>So she gave me one half of her headphones and we lay there together, listening to Ingrid sing The Chain, which became one of my favorite songs ever.</p>
<p>And I&#8217;ve about worn that song out since. I will say that Japan was when I started noticing that my life as I knew it was unraveling. And by <em>noticing</em>, I mean <em>desperately trying to get the attention of someone you love and feeling like you suddenly just have a crush on the man who married you and he doesn&#8217;t even remember your name. </em>And as somebody on the other side of the world kept pulling and pulling at the thread, ripping it out until there was barely any fabric to cover us at all anymore, I would write pitiful love songs on my guitar or listen to Ingrid Michaelson sing about how <em>everybody, everybody wants to love, everybody everybody wants to be loved</em> and I would silently agree cause yeah, that&#8217;s all I wanted. Is that such a terrible thing, anyway?</p>
<p>And then I came home and that thread was even shorter. Shorter than I ever knew it could be. And there we were, our relationship exposed and uglier than I ever knew it could be, either; cause that poor thread had been pulled and pulled until the fabric was gone entirely, having been used to make a different blanket for a different person. And there I was, feeling naked and ashamed and less than while not knowing what to do about it except write and listen to music. Oh, and pretend to the world that everything was good enough.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.thislifeinwriting.com/2009/09/thats-what-i-hear-in-these-sounds/">Which is when I wrote this.</a></p>
<p>It was a time when he was upset with me and had left abruptly. Again. And I didn&#8217;t know the half of it. And I couldn&#8217;t compete with a person I didn&#8217;t even know had taken my place. All I knew to be was myself and suddenly that wasn&#8217;t good enough.</p>
<p>But I&#8217;d once again find some small comfort in listening to the song, The Chain. And it&#8217;s one of those songs that makes me really happy and really sad at once; really happy that it was written at all and really sad that it wasn&#8217;t me who had written it in the first place.</p>
<p>And even though Ingrid didn&#8217;t sing The Chain tonight, I still absolutely loved getting to hear her live. She was inspiring. Plus, she plays a very small guitar. Something that I do too, so it gave me a little more courage in that direction. A little less reason to feel very defensive when people ask me about it. Over and over again.</p>
<p>But yes, listening to her was pretty darn great. Like I said, worth every bit of the $27 and all that jazz.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>that&#8217;s what I hear in these sounds</title>
		<link>http://www.thislifeinwriting.com/2009/09/thats-what-i-hear-in-these-sounds/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thislifeinwriting.com/2009/09/thats-what-i-hear-in-these-sounds/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Sep 2009 10:34:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jessica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[I Lift My Eyes Up]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Loved Ones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thoughts and Feelings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creak]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[door]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[footsteps]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[home]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ingrid Michaelson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love/romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[point]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[silent treatment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sound]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the chain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts/life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thud]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[way]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thislifeinwriting.com/2009/09/thats-what-i-hear-in-these-sounds/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s his footsteps that reach me. The sounds of stairs, begrudgingly giving way underneath. With a creak, announcing him. And even though he&#8217;s walking away, there&#8217;s still the sound of him, and I love those loud stairs for that. But then the big door swings open and closes with a hollow thud and that&#8217;s that. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It&#8217;s his footsteps that reach me.
<div></div>
<div>The sounds of stairs, begrudgingly giving way underneath. With a creak, announcing him.</div>
<div></div>
<div>And even though he&#8217;s walking away, there&#8217;s still the sound of him, and I love those loud stairs for that. </div>
<div></div>
<div>But then the big door swings open and closes with a hollow thud and that&#8217;s that. The ensuing silence proving the point that he&#8217;s actually gone. Until he starts up that motor, and his old jeep backs up, working too hard to just get out of the neighborhood. </div>
<div></div>
<div>And although that quiet is quite clearly broken, it brings no comfort. </div>
<div>Only isolation. </div>
<div>Like a woman noisily giving you the silent treatment. </div>
<div></div>
<div>She&#8217;s banging on various kitchen sundries, making a point to carry overly loud saccharin conversations with everybody else when she&#8217;s not humming that tune made famous in high school, and you finally put down your book. You wonder what it was you ever did to make her ignore you so hard. </div>
<div></div>
<div>And that&#8217;s how it sounds when he leaves; I like the sound of him coming home much better and at least there&#8217;s a cat at my feet and one at my side. </div>
<div></div>
<div>*inspired in part by when he left early this morning&#8230;and a song called The Chain, by Ingrid Michaelson:</div>
<div></div>
<div><span class="Apple-style-span"  style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 15px; font-family:tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:medium;"><i>So glide away and so be healed and promise not to promise anymore </i></span></span></div>
<div><span class="Apple-style-span"   style="  color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 15px; font-family:tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:medium;"><i>and if you come around again then i will take, then i will take the chain from off the door</i></span><br /></span></div>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>it&#8217;s not what you call me, but what I answer to&#8211;african proverb</title>
		<link>http://www.thislifeinwriting.com/2009/06/its-not-what-you-call-me-but-what-i-answer-to-african-proverb/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thislifeinwriting.com/2009/06/its-not-what-you-call-me-but-what-i-answer-to-african-proverb/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Jun 2009 06:36:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jessica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thoughts and Feelings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Amos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chain link fence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Deanna]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emily]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fence river]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[link]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Madeline Albright]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perfect conversation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[period]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ridiculous ideas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[river]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rosa Parks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strength]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sweet strains]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[walk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thislifeinwriting.com/2009/06/its-not-what-you-call-me-but-what-i-answer-to-african-proverb/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The sweet strains of Japanese are serenading me right now as my roommate faithfully practices the language of the land which we are visiting at the end of the summer. She now knows how to say, An adult woman is swimming, which will be a perfect conversation starter at the stage door, I am sure. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The sweet strains of Japanese are serenading me right now as my roommate faithfully practices the language of the land which we are visiting at the end of the summer.
<div></div>
<div>She now knows how to say, <i>An adult woman is swimming</i>, which will be a perfect conversation starter at the stage door, I am sure.</div>
<div></div>
<div>I mean, really, there&#8217;s got to be an adult woman swimming <i>somewhere</i> in the world at that moment, even if it isn&#8217;t exactly pertinent to the situation at hand. </div>
<div></div>
<div>I am feeling content with my thorough knowledge of the word, <i>konichiwa.</i> </div>
<div></div>
<div>That means hello, as you probably already know.  </div>
<div></div>
<div>I plan on saying that a lot. </div>
<div></div>
<div>And when they ask me if I&#8217;ve had Japanese lessons, I will simply and modestly say <i>no</i>&#8211;<i>self-taught, actually</i>. And then I will take a sniff and mention something about how languages are just intuitive with some people. </div>
<div></div>
<div>As is the need to rise to a challenge. </div>
<div></div>
<div>To scale any wall.</div>
<div></div>
<div>And I don&#8217;t mean that metaphorically, at least not tonight.  </div>
<div></div>
<div>See, three of us are walking home tonight and on a whim decide to take the river walk to get there. It&#8217;s just lovely here and who doesn&#8217;t want to see the moon reflecting on the water as much as possible? </div>
<div></div>
<div>That&#8217;s what I thought.</div>
<div></div>
<div>Anyway, we start on the river walk and much to our chagrin see that it has been closed off with a chain link fence, due to some sort of construction or other such nonsense. </div>
<div></div>
<div>We probably would have just taken the two block detour and veered away from the river walk had it not been for the two heckling men that were sitting by the chain link fence.</div>
<div></div>
<div><i>River walk&#8217;s closed, ladies</i>, the one guy seems only too happy to report to us.</div>
<div></div>
<div><i>Yep, you&#8217;re gonna have to go around, </i>guy number two<i> </i>says, <i>I mean, whatcha gonna do&#8211;scale that fence in those pretty <b>dresses</b>?</i></div>
<div></div>
<div>And with that they both share an extremely long and generous laugh at what, to them, must seem like the most preposterous and ridiculous idea ever swapped between two men in the history of manly idea swapping. </div>
<div></div>
<div>And I am pretty sure there have been a fair share of ridiculous ideas swapped. </div>
<div></div>
<div>Just saying.  </div>
<div></div>
<div>We don&#8217;t need to say anything, really, their laugh having sealed the deal. </div>
<div></div>
<div>With resolution in our steps, we walk up those stairs and right up to the chain link fence. Like a good team, we work together. </div>
<div></div>
<div>Deanna stands directly behind me, blocking the men&#8217;s view, should my dress lift a little too much as I am the first to scale the fence. With the river on my right and chain link on my left, I loop a leg over the fence. As I swing my body over it I glimpse one of the guys in the peanut gallery with his camera poised at me. </div>
<div></div>
<div><i>Perfect</i>. </div>
<div></div>
<div><i>Hopefully he has a blog</i>.</div>
<div></div>
<div>We pass bags for each other to hold and link arms as, one after the other, all three of us safely make it across. </div>
<div></div>
<div>We are Superwoman, Madeline Albright, and Rosa Parks all at once. </div>
<div></div>
<div>We take a few paces feeling quite proud of ourselves, laughing and savoring the moment as we leave those hecklers behind when suddenly we come upon an even bigger chain link fence.</div>
<div></div>
<div><i>Shoot.</i></div>
<div><i><br /></i></div>
<div>Turning back is <i>not</i> an option. </div>
<div></div>
<div>Not with Thing 1 and Thing 2 back there; not with their camera and not with their laughter. </div>
<div></div>
<div>Again, we walk up to it, determined to make this thing work. </div>
<div></div>
<div>Thank God we are dancers. There is a hole, a tiny space between the chain link fence and the railing and one by one, we shimmy through, passing bags and grabbing hands. </div>
<div></div>
<div>We come through as women victorious. We wear dresses and climb fences. </div>
<div></div>
<div>And oh yeah, we get our periods.</div>
<div></div>
<div>Which is why I sent this text to my friend <b><i>Emily </i></b>today:</div>
<div></div>
<div><i>So I got my period at the beach today </i></div>
<div><i>and I fully blame you, my friend. Thanks </i></div>
<div><i>for dragging me into your lunar cycle; </i></div>
<div><i>really appreciate it&#8230;</i></div>
<div></div>
<div>After a few moments, I hadn&#8217;t gotten any texts back from her, which surprised me a little. </div>
<div></div>
<div>Finally my phone lit up with a text and I looked down to see this from <i><b>Amos</b></i>:</div>
<div></div>
<div><i>With all due respect&#8230;I don&#8217;t get a period so bugger off!!!</i></div>
<div><i><br /></i></div>
<div><b><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:x-large;"><i>Oops!!!!</i></span></b></div>
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