keeping it real. fo real fo real.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as big gaping holes, chance, cheese, closet, dark closet, decision, everything, expert, frog, frog skeleton, husbands and wives, little frog, magic wand, maze, messy closet, need, powerful words, purse, safety pin, safety pins
I’ve stopped carrying a purse. I now shove everything I need into my pockets and hope for the best. Considering my purse is being held together by safety pins–and still has big gaping holes in some places (a safety pin is no magic wand, after all)–I figure this is a good decision.
I don’t understand what it is that makes strangers talk to me, but it happens all the time. Just now, when I was about to walk down to the subway, a man blurts out to me, “My wife hates me.”
I stop; those are powerful words, after all.
“I doubt that,” I say. But now that I think about it, I shouldn’t doubt that statement. Many husbands and wives end up hating each other. Love fades so easily. It’s the perfectly healthy, stout little frog that jumped into my very messy closet when I was a little girl. Poor thing had no chance in that maze of clothes with no food or water. I found a sad pile of little frog bones much, much later.
We wonder why, after we’ve hopped blindly into a dark closet–away from any and all nourishment–we find our relationships no longer in tact. Not that I’m an expert. If I’m an expert at anything, it’s finding the frog skeleton. Someday I’d like to find the healthy little frog; someday I’d like to say LOOK! I KEPT HIM ALIVE! And then live happily ever after. I’ll even do the dishes. Well, when I remember. But I probably won’t mow the lawn and I definitely won’t watch tv every night. Sorry, there are just some things I will not do.
The details of our lives are so good at keeping things in perspective, huh? So many people–mostly those who I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting in real life–tell me to please “keep it real.” And maybe these people don’t realize that I am the girl who walks around with a large chunk of cheese in her bag. Sure, it’s because I met friends at Whole Foods for dinner, and, seeing the cheese on sale for $2.79, simply had to buy that along with dinner and then stick it in my bag for the rest of the night–but, the fact remains: cheese. In my bag. All night long. Sexy, I know.
I guess what I am saying is that if ever started to think too highly of myself walking around in my super cool earmuffs that make my ears all squishy and warm, then all I need to do it glance into my canvas bag and see a large and orange hunk of cheese. I mean, I don’t think the glamorous women of the world carry around cheese. I might be wrong. Perhaps Madonna, cheese in hand, would say otherwise.
Also, this: every night I go to sleep wearing a retainer in my mouth.
So, I guess my point is that I have found a dead frog in my closet. Both for real AND metaphorically speaking. I walk around with cheese in my bag. I sleep with a retainer. If those things don’t keep it real, then God help us all.
change.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
as being shy, case in point, chance, change, conversations, direction, drive thru, everything, Excuse, hard time, lauryn hill, life, moment, philadelphia, please touch museum, rehearsals, show, Touch, wasting time, way
I’m different, guys. No, it’s true. Like, something happened inside of me somewhere along the way that made me less afraid or something. I like people so tremendously. Life is so interesting and people contribute a lot to make it so. But, right–I’m different now, I think. Case in point: Today, I ran into a [...]
I’d rather laugh than do crunches for my abs anyway.
in Thoughts and Feelings
as ballerina, basketball, basketball games, brother jonathan, caxias, chance, Cisne, danger, darndest, everything, first test, hearth, hearth and home, home, kidnapper, person, stranger, stranger danger, stranger stranger, tonight
Tonight I have laughter all stuck inside me. I am not sure how, exactly, it got in there, but it is trying its darndest to come out every chance it gets, because just about everything is cracking me up right now. It might have started on the subway. No, back up. It might have started [...]
candy heart.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
as aids, blogs, boar, bulldozers, candy, candy heart, Carpe, chance, diem, drowsy, epic, finger, fuck, fun, gay man, hairy legs, hearts, heavy machinery, influence, Jess, jog, lot, love, maniac, muddy, ooh, pez, pez dispenser, pez dispensers, run, sleep, Smartest, spitting, today, tree, wild boar
I should tell you that I am under the influence of some sleep aids right now. I am writing until I am drowsy enough to go away, at least for a little while. I’ve always heard that medicated blogs are more fun; now’s the chance to really see for myself. Actually, I’ve never heard that, [...]
hovering.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
as adorable daughter, amazing things, angle, chance, character, commercials, denim jumpsuit, entrance, first impressions, friend lindsay, happy song, hornbeam trees, job, jumpsuit, life, point, proud owner, reason, refrigerators, senya, song, sort, spirit, spirit of god, story, today
Lately, I feel like one big hovering question. But the word hovering gives me hope, for some reason. Let me explain. I think that it makes me think of the sublime. It makes me think of the Spirit of God. Because he was simply hovering in the very beginning, before he created all of us funny [...]
so dance dance like it’s the last last night of your life life.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as Arabian, b boy, b girl, ballerina, ballet training, birthday, birthday party, break, break dance, chance, dressing room, girl, hand, inhibitions, life, nutcracker, party, second act, specifics, training, trouble, variation, weird expression
I think that, given the chance, I would become a B-boy. No, actually a B-girl. I just wanna break dance. I went to a friend’s birthday party tonight and, man, people were dancing. It was fantastic. Most people had helped themselves to the punch, which in turn, helped themselves lose their inhibitions, but I don’t [...]
here.
in Loved Ones, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
as airport, belgian, belgian waffle, chance, Darby, funny business, geography, Jase, kind, last november, LAX, Mentally, mickey mouse, November, Ollie, orange county, second, sense memory, setbacks, strange kind, waffles
I started the day off right with a Texas-shaped belgian waffle. I wasn’t sure at first what shape they were going for. And yes, I know, that may have something to do with my poor grasp on basic geography. But see, I’ve only ever seen waffles shaped like well, waffles, or like Mickey Mouse. And [...]
