not easy, but easier.

There is a trick to dancing; it is called relax and the movement will come easier.

There is a trick to singing; it is called relax and the sound will come easier.

Not that it will come easy, mind you. I don’t really believe that anything of value comes very easy, but there’s something about letting your body be at peace. Breathing nice and deep. Letting go of the tension. And then something else happens–it just starts to work.

I remember one time I was thinking about that verse in the Bible–the one about how Option A is to be all anxious and Option B is to be all let’s give this to God when things weigh heavy and how choosing Option B floods your mind with peace, even if not much changes around you.

And I decided I wanted to write a song about it. So I sat there at the piano and worked for a very long time. And a whole lot of nothing felt like it transpired in the next hour. Sure, I found one chord progression that I liked and so proceeded to wear it out, but that didn’t exactly feel like something to write home about. Especially since I was already home and my parents would be all, Why didn’t you just save yourself the thirty-nine cents and tell us about that chord progression over cereal in the morning?

So I gave up and left for whatever was next on my agenda. And as I was walking out of my house, a set of lyrics and a melody just popped right into my head–acted like it owned the place cause it didn’t even knock or anything.  So I ran back to my piano and, sure enough, it fit with that chord progression I had been playing over and over again. Fit like a glove. And that was that. The song came so easy when I stopped trying so hard. Not that you shouldn’t try–you should never not try–but sometimes there’s a time to walk away, I guess. To relax. To let it happen.

And it’s such a nice surprise when it does just that.

Like yesterday, when I decided to get myself into a ballet class. I even got myself into a leotard and tights, which was a nice kind of nostalgic for me. And the correction I got from my teacher was to not be so hard on myself; to relax and maybe even get rid of that determined expression that was arranged on my face. The one I had, up till that point, had no idea about. And then I remembered that I was dancing and it was like, Oh! right. This is my body dancing–moving to the music, even if it is a little piano tune and not exactly something with a fat beat–it’s still me dancing, so why not show that I love it?

Not to mention relax, too.

Which is when I started to land some pirrouettes. But not learn how to actually spell that word. Don’t be crazy.

And the thing is, sometimes it can feel like we are up against the clock all the time. The way life is arranged in increments we call minutes that fill up till they are hours that fill up till they are days. Days of our lives. Haha that’s a soap opera, which wasn’t my point. Just kidding, that’s totally my point. We should all watch more soap operas and then life will come easy.

Oh, I kid again.

I didn’t actually want to comment on soap operas at all, except to say that they give actors jobs so YEAH!

But what I am saying is that there isn’t a lot of time to give yourself to worry, especially when that makes whatever it is you are trying to do a little less likely. And a lot less fun.

And I’m not saying this because I’ve done it and done it well. I’m saying it because I am learning about this; I’m trying to relax and breathe while working hard. To remember that, though I am turning out and pointing my feet like crazy or singing something that feels real, REAL high right about now–or even going to the grocery store because my momma asked me to and let’s be honest, she’s done more for me than could ever be paid back, should I go to every grocery store in every province, it is my life. All of it. So why not remember that I love it? And then once I remember, why not show it? Just like in ballet class. And why not give myself to the work of peace, starting right here. In that part of me that you cannot see or take, that part of me that I should not forget or neglect…