rapping and the milk fairy. but not rapping about the milk fairy.

Oh my gosh, I wrote a song that’s kind of like a rap.

And yes, my goodness YES, you can laugh.

But okay, now that was enough laughing.

I haven’t played it for anyone yet, but wow, I have a good time playing it for myself. I was driving in the car and thinking about how much I hate to feel used and it just sort of happened.

You know, rap happens.

And if you ever doubted that there were certain things you could do in your life, maybe you should think about me and how not only did I just write a rap, I’m also getting a divorce, and those are two things I never thought I’d attach to my name.

So yeah, you can do it. Whatever it is, you can do it.

I know, I should totally be a motivational speaker.

And now onto something a little more magical. A little more lovely. A little more winged.

In theory, at least.

I’m talking about my pop, the guy I affectionately refer to around here as the Milk Fairy. Because, I don’t know how he does it, but we never run out of milk. Ever. Seriously, it will be 2am and I will notice that the carton has maybe two inches of milk left, which is certainly low for the morning cereal rush.

But without fail, there is always a brand new carton of milk in the morning and all of us get to start the day with a belly full of milk. Even the cats, since they usually get to drink the last of our cereal milk.

In addition to the butter that they lick, of course.

But the Milk Fairy. He’s real, and he lives on Appleton Road and I don’t mind reaping the benefits of living with him one bit.

I wonder if we should attach some kind of holiday to this Milk Fairy. Kind of like how Christmas is big business for Santa Claus and he gets all that nice PR between Thanksgiving and December 25th. I wonder if, like Santa, the Milk Fairy would be able to make good and sure that once a year, every kitchen was stocked with milk before the first one rises in the home? You know, for just one day. Santa does it. Or something like it, anyway.  Can’t be too hard, right?

But Milk Day just doesn’t sound so interesting. Not unless you’re a cow and you’d sort of like to lose all that water (milk) weight anyway; you’d like to fit into your size 6 dress for that next photo shoot for Chick-Fil-A. So I guess that’s supposing you’re a cow model. Ooh, fancy. What a life.

But instead of Milk Day, cause yawn, how about Las Leche?

That’s kind of sexy.

Oops, my friend just told me that he didn’t think people should use that word cavalierly. But what about if I use it to describe the holiday ascribed to the Milk Fairy? Is that less inappropriate? Which is my awkward way of asking if it’s appropriate.

I’m gonna say sure. Cause it’s late and I visited my cats tonight who are no longer my cats and that’s a bitter little pill to swallow so heck, I’m gonna say that my title for a holiday that I just made up is sexy.

Okay?

Okay.