just writing tonight (as opposed to all the other things I usually do on here).
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as breaking my heart, buzz, chivalry, cupcake, decision, girl, janes, kind, left behind, life, race, random girl, show, skirt, skirts, stranger, trade, tutu
We played a show tonight.
People are always very kind at shows.
They called Imagination “the s***” and remarked upon Boi Boi Boi, as well.
Though, they didn’t call it anything to do with refuse, which is too bad, I guess.
A few people told us that The Paper Janes are gaining quite a buzz around town.
That’s nice.
I wore a skirt that looks like a tutu and a cupcake had a baby.
It’s light pink and I like it very much.
Some girl tried to make me trade it with her shorts.
Her shorts that look nothing like either a tutu or a cupcake.
I said no; it was not a hard decision.
But the guy next to her suggested that I could always just take the skirt off, if I wasn’t up for a trade.
Ew, gross.
Whatever happened to chivalry?
I hope I never have a boy who grows up and suggests that a random girl at a bar takes her skirt off.
Although, if he does that, I will still love him.
But I will be disappointed in him.
Which is how I am feeling right now.
In life, I mean; not in my imaginary son who is apparently telling girls to take their skirts off.
(I will definitely talk to him about this, though, don’t you worry)
I wonder, sometimes, how much a heart can take.
I wonder, sometimes, how many times a girl can get left behind until she starts to simply lose the race altogether.
My therapist says that I am still open and vulnerable to the world–that I haven’t built up the kinds of walls that keep people out–because I formed such good attachments with my family when I was a girl.
Something to be grateful for.
I had no idea what I was doing.
Like, I wasn’t thinking: I better build good attachments with all these people who share my last name, so when people start breaking my heart I will still be able to tell my friends how much I hurt and I will still be able to meet a stranger and eventually make them a friend.
Nope, I was just living.
Just loving.
It was so simple.
My friends tell me that I am strong.
What if I’m not, though?
Actually, what about the times when I am not?
What then?
Live.
Breathe.
Stay alive and take care of yourself.
Do the things you know are good.
Eat breakfast.
Write songs.
Occasionally even with curse words in them, much to the chagrin and disappointment of your mother.
Dance.
Practice martial arts, cause you don’t yell–you never yell–but all that angst should probably go somewhere, right?
Love the people who are so wonderfully lovable.
And then be kind to the ones who are not.
Read good strong words that plant gardens in your soul; the kind that you can live off of when the times are lean.
Breathe.
I can do this.
I have to do this.
road trip to georgetown.
in Loved Ones, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
as adorable baby, brand new baby, brick, brick and stone, car, cobblestone, cupcake, cupcakes, face, friend, friend lindsay, georgetown, kind, kind of magic, life, Lindsay, Line, lot, person, road, road trip, Saturday, senya, South, stone, straight face, telephone pole, today, trip, week, word, world
I mentioned to my friend Lindsay just last week that some of the best cupcakes in the world are in Georgetown.
I mentioned that they are even worth a road trip.
“Let’s do it!” she said, and she made good her word today.
Because, you know, a lot of people talk about things and then life is busy and those things don’t actually happen and I get that, I really do. But, sure enough, later in the week Lindsay texted me with three possible days to take a trip down to Georgetown and sample those cupcakes.
It’s really going to happen!, I thought, excitedly, as I told her Saturday should be perfect.
So Lindsay, Collin, their seriously adorable baby Senya, and I piled into their car and drove South. And then we proceeded to go to town. Literally. And specifically, Georgetown. The place has its own kind of magic with cobblestone and these buildings that are so wonderfully old and made of good and lasting materials like varying shades of brick and stone. We found Georgetown Cupcake and soon joined what felt like half the population of DC in a line that wrapped around the building and then some.
And then we talked and tried to keep a straight face as the person directly behind us popped up in surprising proximity to one or another of us. I’d look to my right and find her just an inch from my shoulder, staring. Or she’d be shimmied up close to Lindsay. Or she’d be shimmying up the telephone pole that was right in the middle of where we were standing, and I’m not even kidding. At that point, it got a little difficult not to laugh, I have to admit.
And then we sampled some of the most delicious and road-trip-worthy cupcakes ever. Good thing, too, because I was starting to get nervous that I’d built them up in my mind and maybe they weren’t as good as I’d thought and here I’ve gone and made my friends road trip with their brand new baby just to eat a tolerable cupcake when the world is full of tolerable cupcakes, many of them not so many miles away.
But no need to worry; they were amazing. We got six and spent the day splitting them between us. Unfortunately for Collin, his two picks were the least favorites of mine and Lindsay’s. Or maybe that was actually just good planning on his part, cause now that I think about it, he did get to finish those two cupcakes all by himself. If that was the case, well played, Collin; well played.
And then we found a little park with stone pillars that were intertwined with the branches of a circle of trees, and, after talking under that shade for a while, Collin pointed out this little guy.
He was hanging right above us and he might have been listening to our conversation or he might have sensed that we were the kind of people who were traveling with cupcakes, but whatever the case, he was a wonderful addition to our party.
*not pictured here, but just as adorable and memorable as the raccoon (if not more!), was the swarm of gnats as well as the bust of Francis Scott Key. Just didn’t want them to feel left out, since they were also fixtures of the park, you know.
But the day was, quite simply, perfect.
my news, good and bad.
in Funny Stuff, Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings
as bad taste in my mouth, blond hair, cupcake, God, irish creme, magic wand, mail, mom, news, Shane, today, Tuesday
The good news is that I got a whole new set of sparkly, springtime colored bobby pins; the bad news is that I am not actually five years old. The good news is that my mom bought me a bailey’s irish creme cupcake; the bad news is that my pop ate it first. The good [...]
