Posted by jessica on Oct 16, 2011 with
19 Comments
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Funny Stuff,
Loved Ones,
there are pictures here
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dogs,
Guy,
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Jess,
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I get home pretty late these days.
Usually so late that even the dogs are asleep by the time I get back.
Which makes me sad.
So tonight I woke Strider up. I brought him upstairs and told him I’d get him a treat. Then I put a party hat on him–well, on each of us–and we posed for a picture:
He gave me kisses and snuggled with me for a second. But see, I still hadn’t given him his treat yet, and he knew it. Sometimes it’s hard for me to tell if a guy is being kind to me because he wants something from me, or simply because he’s truly kind.
But I think I’ve been around Strider long enough to know that he’s one who truly loves me.
And treats.
It’s not mutually exclusive for him, I think.
And then I got him the promised treat, which made him about one hundred and fifty pounds of pure, late night joy.
———————-
Oh, and this conversation between my pop and I recently occurred:
Pop: You’ll never be fat, Jess.
Me: Okay.
Pop: Well, when you get pregnant, you’ll be fat-ish, but then you’ll probably lose it…
Me: Um…thanks?
Hahaha fat-ish. I’m not sure what, exactly, that looks like, but at least my pop is confident that I’ll probably lose it.
Probably!
Posted by jessica on Sep 18, 2011 with
5 Comments
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I Lift My Eyes Up,
Thoughts and Feelings
as
auctioneer,
back,
back porch,
beer,
cigarette,
dog barks,
dogs,
dreams,
dusk,
everything,
fire,
God,
hous,
iowa city,
kind,
kind lady,
kindness,
longing,
magical lady,
orange,
orange dot,
pace,
pain,
rapid fire,
self medicate,
sky,
smell,
stop,
time,
trees,
waves,
way,
while
Dusk has a way of setting the sky on fire.
It’s startling, really.
I like to go outside during that time; it’s when I want to look and look forever. It’s when everything around me feels so beautiful, that the longing I have for more! than! this! feels met.
For a while, I mean.
I like to talk to God then. I don’t mind that the trees are listening; the trees feel kind at dusk. Like they agree with my dreams. Sometimes I walk by people’s houses. I try not to eavesdrop while they take a load off, enjoying their evening on the back porch with a cigarette and a beer. Sometimes a dog barks at me. And suddenly the bright orange dot of a cigarette waves in the air as I hear, “Stop, Sam!” The words shoot out, quick and staccato, over and over again, like rapid fire. And I feel sorry for interrupting the backyard peace. I feel sorry that I am causing Sam to get yelled at. So I pick up my pace and the orange dot of the cigarette shrinks to nothing behind me as I go on my way.
I used to feel worse about people smoking than I do now. I mean, I don’t love the smell and I’m not about to start–but I understand a little better when people self-medicate. Or want to feel better. Or try to find comfort. I guess when you’ve hurt a lot, trying to soothe the pain makes some sense. I get it.
I used to feel worse about some things and better about others than I do now.
“How has your view on God changed over the past season of your life?” a very kind and magical lady from Iowa City asked me today.
And I told her that I am not sure, how, exactly my view of God has changed–other than I am more convinced of his kindness now than ever, I would add, now that I am thinking about it–but my view of people has changed. I love to hear them talk, but I care a great deal more about what they go and do. How they live their lives. It’s great if you can talk into a microphone like an auctioneer for Jesus, smooth and fast with shiny words that inspire people to raise their hands and buy whatever it is you’re selling, but are you kind? Loyal? Do you mean what you say? Do you keep your promises?
“I guess I don’t have time for the bull anymore,” I said.
And I think we both agreed that nobody does. That life is messy. That we all matter, and that both pain and joy teach us lessons you never really can walk away with from simply reading a book.
But back to the changing sky tonight.
It was glorious.
And so beautiful; the kind of beauty that makes me say thank you, whispered into the ear of creation itself, I guess.
Posted by jessica on Aug 9, 2011 with
7 Comments
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I Lift My Eyes Up,
Loved Ones,
Thoughts and Feelings
as
anxiety,
date,
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dough,
flux,
instructor,
kind,
kneading dough,
life,
love,
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mom,
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sleep,
spirit,
stick,
way,
while,
yoga instructor
I just spent a while looking at the classifieds. Yes, folks, I’m gonna get myself some kind of job. The kind that pays money. It’ll be nice. I got all teary-eyed at the end of yoga tonight. My teacher is so kind and I love listening to what he says. Tonight he was reminding us [...]
Posted by jessica on Jan 1, 2010 with
4 Comments
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Funny Stuff,
photography
as
aligncenter,
attachment,
caption,
dogs,
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nibble,
sugar x,
width
Well that’s a relief. The fact that there are some things that I can just count on, I mean. For instance, no matter what color my hair is, there are a few consistencies to my life. Like how my hair often goes unwashed. And how dogs like to nibble on me. Come to think of it, [...]
