the business of socks. and oh yeah, last august looks nothing like now.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as Auto, baby chicks, blended family, chorus line, douchebag, Draft, friend david, funny part, goodness sake, pair of socks, random fact, single day
I don’t remember the last time I wore a matching pair of socks.
Oh wait, I did wear a pair today. But they are specialty socks. Not exactly the kind you can wear with normal shoes. They are actually called snuggle socks. And they are just as they sound. They are very fluffy and warm and the color of baby chicks. They are more like slippers than socks, really. And Darby gave them to me–so excited for me to see them–because they are basically just what the doctor ordered. Well, if you are going to see a doctor about feet that are rather cold, they are.
But the funny part is that my friend Shane saw the socks and misread them as struggle socks and didn’t even think anything of it. “You’ve been going through a pretty tough time, so it kind of made sense for Darby to get you a nice pair of struggle socks,” he told me.
And he did have a point.
But now, socks. Where do they go? And why is it that just one disappears–why not at least have both crawl away? That way you’re not reminded of the tragedy every single day when you pull out your favorite knee high sock that says A Chorus Line all bold like that up the side of the shin only to not be able to find the other one. But there’s the one, dangling out of your drawer. Mocking you. Just daring you to wear it without the other one.
And so I did. I did it today, in fact. I pulled out another random knee high sock (but not nearly so cool as my ACL one, to be sure), and sported my own little blended family of socks.
Random fact that has nothing whatsoever to do with socks: this time last year I was in Japan. I had already been in an earthquake, for goodness’ sake. And my hair was super short. Short enough for my friend David to tease me and tell me that I “missed my group” when the boys were dancing One. And this was all done on stage, of course. Not like I had anything better to do than tell David he’s a douchebag (it’s okay mom, that’s really not a swear word) during that scene, I guess. Oh, but it was all in good fun. Promise. I don’t think I actually ever even told him that.
But Japan feels like a lifetime ago. In one sense, I wish I could go back there without all the hurting I was feeling when I was there. Without all that pull and pain that was being thrown my way from home. But it’s okay. I think I will be going to lots of places on this fine earth of ours, but I will not ever be going to that place again.
And by that place I hope you understand that I do not mean Japan.
I mean that hurting place I was in. Cause nope, not gonna go back there.
change everything.
in Performance, Thoughts and Feelings, video
as art, benefit of the doubt, black, black and white, complexities, douchebag, hand gestures, pop, realization, song, strange things, way
Oh, here you go.
It’s a song.
I wrote it recently and so far, have only played it for my pop. He seemed to like it very much. But he seems to like most of what I do. It’s the things that I don’t do that he seems to not like as much. Like when I don’t vacuum my room. And when I don’t turn off the fan in the bathroom when I leave. Something that I haven’t forgotten to do in a very long time, you’re welcome, pop.
Oh, but this song. It’s called change everything. It’s about art and my perspective and how important the act of making art is to me. It’s about how the world isn’t black and white; I’m sorry, it’s not. And part of that realization has helped me understand that people can do terrible, hurtful things to each other and still love each other. That the two aren’t mutually exclusive, though to hurt someone isn’t exactly being loving, don’t get me wrong.
But we are all many different layers and complexities and yes, let’s try to keep it simple, please, but let’s also realize that sometimes we’re trying our best just to give each other the benefit of the doubt even though the last guy was a total douchebag. And sometimes we’re learning how to walk and we stumble and we fall down and as we do, we accidentally hit each other on the way to a hard landing on the ground. Or maybe it’s not an accident. But either way, not much is black and white when it comes to our hearts and our responses and our views. When it comes to us.
And so here I am. I respond to life by making art and it helps me immensely. I am not sure if that is selfish, but I am sure it’s necessary.
Oh, and I am aware that I do some strange things when I sing. Like hand gestures. But what are you gonna do, I guess.
