Posted by jessica on Nov 4, 2010 with
12 Comments
in
Thoughts and Feelings
as
glottal,
good,
gosh,
grad,
grad school,
grand scheme of things,
hoodie,
kind,
mfa,
nephew,
phone,
piano lessons,
ribcage,
scheme of things,
soft palate,
theory,
tomorrow,
Voice,
voice lessons
I have always maintained that to do well in life one should be kind and ask many questions.
Which really helped me out yesterday. Because I called one of the schools I am applying for to check on something about the transcripts they need and found out that I full-on applied for the wrong major.
Oh gosh, who does that?
(me)
But I kindly asked the lady on the phone what I can do to make things right (cause it would really suck to go to grad school for something other than what I want to go to grad school for, right? right!). And she helped me so much and by just one day later, it’s all good. And I am once again applying for the right MFA.
Also, I started giving voice lessons to my nephew Jonah. This is adorable. The whole thing, really. His hoodie all pulled up over his handsome head and his voice working hard to not glottal (now that he knows what that is) and his ribcage trying to stay expanded and his soft palate trying to stay good and dropped.
“There’s so much to think about!” he exclaimed.
Good point, Jone.
And his voice is quite nice; I think a good thing has started.
And I am starting some piano lessons tomorrow with a new student. It’s a trial because I am not entirely sure I am what he wants–especially if what he’s wanting has much to do with theory. But I love to play and I am happy to teach him what I do know, but gosh, in the grand scheme of things, I still have so much to learn.
About everything.
Which makes life entirely interesting, don’t you think?
Yes, I do too.
Posted by jessica on Nov 3, 2010 with
2 Comments
in
Thoughts and Feelings
as
applying to grad school,
chance,
decision,
direction,
finish line,
funny part,
gait,
grad,
Line,
little bunny,
opposite,
out of sight,
pain,
paper,
performing music,
precious stone,
stone,
stone in my pocket,
way,
weight,
writing music
I am not sure how it happens, but it does
This slow steady crawl of redemption; this limping gait across the finish line.
And the funny part is that just when you see it underneath your feet, it turns into the quickest bunny that darts into the woods and out of sight once again. And just like that, the goal is once again over there and you are once again over here. Walking towards it. On good days, anyway. And on the other days, you hope that you are at least not walking the opposite direction of the goal. You hope that you remember what your goal is.
And I don’t mean to say that we don’t accomplish things; we do. Quite the opposite, really. And once we do, then, inevitably, new things show up to accomplish.
For a while there, I wanted to just not be in so much pain and confusion. That has happened, for the most part. Bam. Wow. I am grateful, so grateful, and I don’t ever want to forget any of it, because then I might forget this gratitude I carry around like a precious stone in my pocket. I remember when it wasn’t there. I didn’t know to miss it, because I didn’t know it. But now I do; I can feel the nice smooth weight of it as I clutch it in my hand and I’d rather not let go ever.
And now my quick little bunny goal has run off again; I am here and it is there and I am hoping that I walk in the right direction. For me, walking in the right direction means:
- staying physically fit in every way possible because I love to dance and it’s hard to dance well without being fit.
- writing. every day. yes, every day.
- writing music, practicing music, performing music–whenever I get the chance. if I am able to do it, then I should say yes. i made that decision a long time ago, actually.
- applying to grad school.
- auditioning for agents.
- teaching people how to do the things I love to do.
- auditioning in general.
I am hoping that all those things result in walking in the direction of my goal(s). I am hoping the bunny slows down enough sometime soon for me to see that ever illusive finish line.
You know, just enough to remember what it looks like before it darts off again.
•I should specify that those things listed are career-ish goals, and not every one of my goals is a career-ish goal.
Posted by jessica on Aug 30, 2010 with
25 Comments
in
Thoughts and Feelings
as
Auto,
beauty and the beast,
buddy,
business,
caterpillar,
cocoon,
cue music,
Draft,
grad,
grad school,
house,
life,
metaphor,
nineties,
open house,
razy,
role,
Silly,
silly life,
Voice,
way,
while
So. I might as well just say it. Because, see, I’ve been making plans. Yes, plans. I know, it’s been a while. See, they were some of the first things to go, back when my life did that thing where it looked like it was ending. Oh life, you really got me with that one. [...]
