Posted by jessica on May 11, 2010 with
20 Comments
in
Funny Stuff,
photography
as
Atlantic City,
casino,
day,
different this time,
headdress,
job,
judah,
parade,
parades,
showgirl costume,
smile and wave,
thing
I have only ever been in two parades.
For some of you, this might seem like quite a lot, actually. But considering the amount of times I have performed in front of people, I think that is a rather low number of parades.
My first parade was a job. A paying job. But in hindsight, I am sure that whatever paycheck I got was not nearly enough to recompense the horror of it. First of all, it was in Atlantic City. And as if that isn’t bad enough, let’s get more specific and talk about how it was in a casino. You know, one of those places that has no windows. Hmmm, what else generally has no windows?
Oh right, a jail.
But there are no windows and no clocks in casinos–nothing to let on to the fact that you’ve been there all day, that the day has come and gone and the only thing you’ve managed to do is lose some of your retirement and pay way too much money for food that is passable at best.
Now my particular job was to simply dress as a showgirl, stand in the lobby of the hotel and smile and wave. Unless it was quarter till the hour–then I hopped on a little cart at the tail end of the parade that looped around the main floor of the casino and continued to smile and wave from there.
See, standing in a showgirl costume isn’t the worst thing in the world–or at least it isn’t for me. I’d done it before, you know. But I soon realized that doing it on a stage with lights and many many feet between myself and an audience was a totally different thing from standing in the lobby of a casino. Cause people would get really close. Talk to me. And sometimes stare. Which, I know–I mean, most people who wear costumes in public give off the impression that they want to be stared at–but this was different. And I know they all say that–that it’s different this time–but well, this was a legit job and listen, I just didn’t want to be stared at, okay?
Okay.
But the thing that really made me hate my life that day was the headdress. It hurt so so so so very badly. It pulled on every hair follicle on my head (I do hope hair follicle gets tagged, which is why I am going to say hair follicle once more!). It also felt like some kind of terrible and undeserved punishment for my neck, it hurt that much.
And because of that headdress, I made sure to take the ten minute breaks that my supervisor had told me to take. I took them every hour, just like she said. Until her supervisor came up to the dressing room and saw me sitting down, headdress sitting on the floor behind me, and informed me that she didn’t pay me to sit in my dressing room.
I told her about the breaks, but she was more interested in getting my headdress back on and getting my back to the lobby where I belonged and where that headdress made life miserable.
All this to say, it totally sucked. And I will never work in a casino again. Or be a showgirl sans an actual stage or production number.
Oh, but my second parade was fantastic. It was just a few days ago, on Judah’s birthday. I got to beat a drum and follow the feminine version of the Pied Piper, I think.
See?
Me and the little kids who are not adults had a blast. I didn’t even mind so much when their various rhythm sections got a little off.
Okay, so you can laugh if you want, but last week I was feeling so homesick that I decided going to see Mickey Mouse would do me good here in Japan.
Cause you know, he’s a familiar face.
I’ve been visiting him at different points in my life for as long as I can remember and I just knew if I went to his home here in Tokyo, it could be comforting.
Like soul food.
Only with rides and New England, Old New York, Acraba, and a surprising amount of popcorn stands.
So, we set off to Disney Seas today, after the show, of course.
And I was not disappointed.
Rumor has it that Disney Seas is the best park to come out of the Imagineers yet and I can see why. It’s very beautiful, full of wonder, and not at all geared towards little children and cartoons. Though they would love it too, it’s sort of like Epcot in that it’s interesting and stimulating for all ages.
And it’s really big.
You can also see Tokyo Bay from it, which adds to the magic.
Here I am, totally excited to have just purchased my half-day ticket for only 31,00 yen, I may add. That sounds like a lot, but it’s really only about $31, American.
Now, we only had about three and a half hours in the park, so I needed to be a little die hard about it. Our first stop was Journey to the Middle of the Earth. We waited in line for about an hour, but it was well worth the wait.
I honesty loved it. I mean, you get shot out of a freaking volcano, for goodness’ sake. What’s not to love about that?
After that we saw some of a killer light show on the water, and when Mickey Mouse came out in a headdress and speaking Japanese we all started laughing. I’m sorry, but you would have too.
However, being me, I had gotten really hungry. Again. I spend most of my time in search of food here, it seems. A few of us made a beeline for Old New York, thinking to find some familiar food there and getting excited when we saw a “deli.”
But every sandwich had mayonnaise. Of course. And it’s really hard to explain how much mayo ruins a sandwich for me using the Japanese words that I know: please, thank you, good morning, yes, no, good-bye, and hello. Realizing that my chances of actually getting a mayo-free sandwich were slim to none, I opted for the chicken and vegetable soup just like mom makes, or so it said.
Yeah well my mom doesn’t just heat up water, throw a few things in there to float in it and call it soup. Just saying.
But I put it in my stomach anyway, cause remember? I was hungry.
At that point, David and I broke off to do the Indiana Jones ride. And once again we couldn’t help laughing at Indy speaking in Japanese. I also couldn’t resist saying in frustration over and over again, I Can’t Speak Japanese!, a la Chris Farley in the SNL skit in which he was an American tourist in some Asian game show.
From there, we literally ran through Cape Cod, Ariel’s Grotto, some sort of outdoor show, and a whole heck of a lot of people to try to make the Tower of Terror. Thinking we wouldn’t make it, we settled for 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, a ride that we had both been on as kids at some point.
It was another blast. We had our own pod, we were in control of Oxygen, depth, and steering. We saw Atlantis, which, as it turns out, isn’t lost after all. There were alien like sea monsters who we were sort of afraid of until we saw that they were helping us and then felt badly for judging them. Of course there was a giant squid and he was just plain bad. That much was clear even if the whole narration was in Japanese.
As we strolled past the Tower of Terror, we were happily surprised to see that it was still open and waltzed right in. And to make it even better, it was a different theme, too. Because the Twilight Zone doesn’t mean anything to the Japanese, the story was about some sort of doctor who took a little statue into his home and then the statue came to life, cursed the good doctor’s mansion, and suddenly disappeared. Of course, we could have misinterpreted because again, I DON’T SPEAK JAPANESE!!!
At the point when the creature disappeared, it was such a special and unanticipated effect that David and I started clapping and cheering wildly. Our Japanese ride-mates joined in and by the time the lights were back on all of us were laughing hysterically and there was a really nice feeling of camaraderie.
He we are in the top left corner with all of our fellow elevator riders.
And I didn’t find out that Minnie, Mickey, Goofy, and Donald were on the same elevator (!!!) until I saw this; otherwise, I totally would have said konichiwa.
And then here is just another glimpse of the park, Venice.
There were gondolas, too, but by this point it was past 10 o’clock and we were all getting gently and magically encouraged to please leave, arogoto gunzymos!
My feet are killing me, but it was totally and absolutely fun. Oh, and I also had two rounds of carmel corn. Yum, yum, yum.
Me and the little kids who are not adults had a blast. I didn’t even mind so much when their various rhythm sections got a little off.
Now, we only had about three and a half hours in the park, so I needed to be a little die hard about it. Our first stop was Journey to the Middle of the Earth. We waited in line for about an hour, but it was well worth the wait. 
And I didn’t find out that Minnie, Mickey, Goofy, and Donald were on the same elevator (!!!) until I saw this; otherwise, I totally would have said konichiwa. 
There were gondolas, too, but by this point it was past 10 o’clock and we were all getting gently and magically encouraged to please leave, arogoto gunzymos!
