First page of the hymns archive.

three cheers for this weekend.

Posted by jessica on May 16, 2011 with 4 Comments
in Loved Ones, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
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Oh, this weekend.

It’s been grand and so chock full of song.

We had a show on Friday night in Philly; it was oh-so-fun. I don’t know how many times I get asked if I am Jane, but I don’t mind it; I rather love that name, anyway. I get to be in a band with some very talented musicians. So I might not be Jane, but I am lucky. Like the jeans, only not so designer and I’m not for sale. And then Saturday, I sang at church. Twice. And then Sunday, I sang at church. Twice again. And then I had the honor of singing at my great aunt and uncle’s very special and beautiful memorial this afternoon.

I sang hymns.

Hymns are not exactly something that I am familiar with, either. So I was a little nervous. Plus my voice was what you could call tired. I am on the getting-better-now side of a sinus infection, and, on top of all that singing I had already done this weekend, there were a few of those notes that I like to refer to as HIGH! in the hymns–so well, I was just hoping my voice would work.

And it seemed to, so I was grateful. And more than that, it was just so very special to be with family who I hardly ever get to see. Special and emotional. At one point, I just kept crying and crying and here I was, having to sing in a few minutes, so I was all, Gurl. Get a hold of yourself. Those hymns are not gonna sing themselves.

Yes, I inferred Girl with a U. I was that serious about getting a handle on my emotions, you see.

And God bless the woman who asked me if I was still in high school. And God bless the small choir of singers who asked me to join them at the last minute. I jumped in on the soprano line and really enjoyed blending with the other singers. It’s good to be a part of a sound that is greater than just your own voice, sometimes.

And then, right before my parents and I had to go, a man whom I had never before met asked me a little bit about what it is I do. I told him and then he looked at me quite seriously and said, “Everything is going to happen for you that needs to. Things will fall into place, you’ll see.” It was a serious moment and I couldn’t help but believe him. He said it the same way you’d tell someone that today is Sunday and tomorrow will be Monday; just like it was a given and whyever would you doubt it?

And then tonight there was that smashing spring thunderstorm all around me. It lit the night sky on fire and drummed out some kind of fantastic rhythm on the roof. Arwen and I both decided to take a small nap. And at the same time, we both woke up, lifted our heads and looked at each other. It was special. It’s hard to describe, really. But there we were, two girls. Safe and warm and sleepy and present like only a pup can be. Like only a girl like me is learning how to be.

how great thou art

Posted by jessica on Oct 30, 2009 with No Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings, video
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Teach me a hymn, I entreated one day while we were driving in the car.

A hymn? Drew asked skeptically.
Yes, a hymn. I don’t know any, you know.
And I didn’t. Well, not unless you count Amazing Grace, which everybody knows anyway, so I don’t.
See, I grew up in a church that sang songs more likely to be written by a guy sporting a pony tail and no shoes than anyone who had ever graduated with a masters degree in sacred music. And I love those simple songs we sang. All about hope, redemption, our need for a Savior, and who needs more than three or four chords in one song anyway?
But then I met Drew.
He grew up in a church with hymns. They sang them on Sunday mornings–and Wednesday nights, too, I’d imagine. They had books with notes written on the pages and people who read the notes with the text, singing harmonies because they were reading them and not just because they heard them somewhere in their head.
And it’s not like I didn’t know about hymns. I would hear them every once in a while and they would haunt me in a wonderful way. At funerals. At weddings. I even learned some in order to sing in my friend’s Catholic wedding. And for me, discovering these old songs might be something like discovering your parent’s old Beetles albums in the attic. This music that had been moving people for generations had finally reached me and I was entranced by the poetry of the text, glad to be another person to sing this song that had been so deeply worn in by many others before me.
So I started asking Drew to teach me some of those hymns. And though he was a little bewildered by my request at first, pretty soon he got into it too.
The first one he taught me was How Great Thou Art. The imagery in the lyrics is perfect. I loved the thought of connecting what we could see and hear with the wonder of who God is. It made creation personal. Like instead of just reading the newspaper, something that was for the masses, I was reading a letter, an encouraging letter that helped me believe. That helped me have hope.
And pretty soon we were both belting out that hymn in the car. He was holding the melody steady while patiently singing a certain section over and over again at my request so I could get my harmony just right.
And inside I felt a sense of wonder.
And lately, I have been playing this hymn over and over again. Sadly, I’ve had to trade the car for random closets and basements; Drew for my guitar. And I’ve also added some lyrics of my own, not because what they were wasn’t perfect, but because it’s how I am feeling right now, and so it helps.
(lyrics in bold are my own)
Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
consider all the worlds thy hands have made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
and then I know, my God, how great thou art

I see this world, and what a beautiful mess it is
and then I see the way you gently enter in
You take my heart, you hold all the million pieces
and then, my God, you make me whole again

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee
How great thou art, how great thou art
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee
How great thou art, how great thou art

I look for signs, for some kind of reassurance
and then I see the mountains in the distance
and I believe, I take creation’s word for it
for everything I see speaks of a God who makes a difference

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee
How great thou art, how great thou art
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee
How great thou art, how great thou art…