happy DBTDTB day.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as aisle, animals at the zoo, brother jason, day, initial greeting, Jason, kind, meat, mother, Ryan, saying nothing, Shane, worship song
Today I was in the grocery store and happened to see someone with whom I barely ever speak.
We both said hi. It was a sort of surprised kind of hi because neither of us expected to see each other in the refrigerated meat aisle (could there be an uglier aisle title out there?). If it were church, then we probably wouldn’t have said anything, really–both being very used to seeing each other across the way and saying nothing because who shouts HELLO!!! across three hundred chairs and a very loud worship song? But like I said, we were in the midst of refrigerated meat. No three hundred chairs. No loud worship song. And the only thing left to us was to talk.
I had, however, just gotten invisalign this morning. This is braces for people who are shy about braces, as my friend Shane puts it. And so I was not yet in the habit of speaking to people with them–not to mention the fact that I was not in the habit of speaking to this particular person at all.
So my hi was short and I was hoping to just stroll on by. Except after our initial greeting, he very loudly exclaimed, Ohhh! Which made me stop. It was the kind of noise that would make the animals at the zoo stop whatever it is they are doing and wonder if Ryan the Lion had finally bitten somebody like he’d been threatening to do since ’01.
And after this guy’s exclamation, he looked at me and asked, Are you a mother…yet? To which I said no and then he sadly told me that he would have liked to have wished me a happy mother’s day. I told him that I’d pass the sentiment on to my own mother, who is more than deserving of it in her own right, and that was that.
And then I told my brother Jason about the exchange, just cause I thought it was rather odd and we often like to tell each other about life’s oddities. To which he said that I should have said, No kids. But I DID get invisalign AND a divorce, so yay for me!!!
And then I asked him if there was a day for that.
To which Jase said, Screw Mother’s Day. You have your Divorced, Better Teethed, Dropped the Bum* Day!!!
And so Happy DBTDTB Day to me!
Catchy, isn’t it?
Hallmark better get on the ball and start making some cards. I could certainly help with the text, if necessary.
*nobody means anything very serious by the word bum here. We are simply using poetic license to emphasize humor. And also, no bums were actually hurt or injured in any way during the making of this blog post.
