thoughts that I pretend to organize by way of bullets.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as Amish, amish man, bagel, buggy, double whammy, horse, horse and buggy, invisalign, jenna, night, Ollie, private conversation
I am going to write down some random things here, so bear with me.
- Today my sister and I saw a cute young Amish man. I write this down because this has never happened before. I am sure they exist–and I am now positive that they exist–but I had just never before actually witnessed it. We were leaving Giant and he was just walking in and Jenna and I were both like, Oh. And then we saw his horse and buggy tied at the sign that indicates if you have a horse and buggy, tie it up here! but it says it with a picture because, in this case at least, I guess a picture is worth a thousand words about horse and buggies. And I joked with Jenna about leaving my phone number on the seat of his buggy. This is funny because he has no phone, you know. Well unless it is in his barn for business purposes but a). calling me, one of the English (as the Amish call any of us who are not Amish), could hardly be considered a business venture. Now I don’t know why I put in an “a).” there because I just realized that I have no “b).” Oh well.
- I have started writing. Started writing? you might all be thinking. But yes, I am writing something of a project and right now it is going all over the place and I am not quite sure what it will be eventually, but it’s this nice little secret that keeps me smiling when otherwise, I’d just be standing in line, about to order a bagel or something. Though the anticipation of a bagel would probably make me smile too. But now I have all these words saved and it’s a work in progress and I can order a bagel, so double whammy reason to smile. This, despite my invisalign, because sometimes that makes me not want to smile.
- My date with Ollie, which I talked about last night, was quite a delight. We had a great conversation throughout the night, some of which was on a more personal level. Which is why when Jase asked Ollie what we talked about last night, he simply answered, “Actually, Daddy–it was a private conversation.”Oh hahaha. Love that kid. Loyal to the max.
- This morning I had a few bites of some of my favorite cereal, only to look down and see a dead moth floating around in the milk. That was quite a bummer; no way around it. I dumped the whole bowl and had to start from scratch again. But you better believe that I thoroughly checked every spoonful before it went down the hatch.
- I need to get some sort of job before too long now. There are a lot of things I do, and some that even bring in some revenue, but I think I need to werrrrq, as some of my dear tour friends would say. So I am wondering what that shall be. I am actually not worried about it right now. Just sort of anticipating an open door and thinking huh. I hope I like it.
- And last but not least, never least!, have you noticed the moon lately? It’s hanging quite low. I think it must be lonely, cause it seems to want to be a part of things down here on earth. And I don’t mind at all. The moon has always been a friend and a comfort in my life. I’d love to have a party that the moon attends; but perhaps that sort of happens every night anyway.
grateful.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings, photography
as aloneness, California, fun, fun thing, God, hand, jenna, life, Ollie, Pacific Ocean, picture, role reversal, sense of togetherness, sister jenna, thing
One fun thing about leggings is that they have no pockets.
Okay, so that’s not like the most fun thing, but bear with me.
Because see, since they have no pockets, that means that I hand my camera over to other people to store in their pockets for the day.
Thank God not all of us are in the habit of wearing leggings. Although, Jase did admit today that they do look quite comfortable.
But by the end of the day, I find pictures that I didn’t even know were taken.
Like this one, compliments of my sister Jenna.
And there are so many things that I love about this picture. Our shadows stretching out long behind us, mingling with each other. The light spilling out over the mountain, like the sky alone can no longer contain its rays so the mountain steps in to bear some of the grand burden of light.
And the sense of togetherness, too. How we’re all walking in the same direction, resolutely, almost.
It makes me think of another picture. One that was taken about six months ago, out here in California, too.
And I love this picture so much.
But it’s interesting. Ollie’s little hand in mine felt like a role reversal. Usually it’s the adult bringing comfort to the kid, right? But at that time in my life, he was comforting me; he didn’t know it, but he was helping to fight what came over me so easily then: a feeling of aloneness.
And that other picture has a greater feeling of being surrounded. Again, of togetherness. Which is about right, presently.
And these days when people ask me how I am, there’s one word that comes to mind: grateful. And yes, I’m so much more; life is usually evoking more from me than one word affords. But still, when I was showering tonight, washing out the Pacific Ocean from my hair, I couldn’t help but remember how good life is and how it comes and goes, like the waves that beat upon the shore, taking and giving but always remaining mysterious and awesome and interesting and full of magic and when the waters recede, I think I’m still here; when the waters recede, I know I’m still here.
And I’m grateful.
the perfect kind of day.
in Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings, photography
as Adorable, beach, boogie boarding, Britain, Canada, head dance, hunt, jenna, Monica Promenade, monkey, mountain, mountain lions, North Carolina, sand, t mountain, twin babies
I was running by myself this morning. You know, in the mountains. And I passed that sign again–the one about the mountain lions that hunt in the area. Okay, so it didn’t say hunt, but that was the point. And then I read that you shouldn’t hike alone and I thought, Ohhhhh shoot. Cause I [...]
getting there.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as alarm bells, bag, enough space, jenna, leg room, Los Angeles, Nova Scotia, rationing of food, road, something, time, trip, Wright, wright brothers
Oh, flying. I know we’ve come a long way since the Wright brothers hung in the sky for a hot second and wowed the world, as they should, but man, either my legs are too long or budget cuts have resulted in not only five or six pretzels thrown your way during a flight across [...]
ridiculousness.
in Thoughts and Feelings
as air, bandz, Cape Henlopen, conditioning, cool air, double edged sword, freezing, God, jenna, ocean, pestle, s rays, season finale of 24, Shane, something, sort, world
I am ridiculous. I mean rolling-out-dough-at-3:30-in-the-morning ridiculous. And as if that isn’t ridiculous enough, please bear in mind that I was rolling out dough with some sort of tool that, as far as I can guess, is used to crush pills. The word that comes to mind is pestle but I could be making that [...]
beach. sister. cards: these are a few of my favorite things.
in Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings, photography
as beach, brother jonathan, card, Delaware, delaware beaches, fantastic family, jarna, jenna, Jenna Veronica, jonathan, something, sun glasses, today, Vern, wind
I like cards a lot. Especially ones that are perfectly square, not necessarily rectangular. Though, I would never turn a rectangular card away. But there’s just something about the symmetry of a square that makes me happy. And then when you add some good words on top of a square card? Well, it’s real, REAL [...]
yes, the walk was worth four dollars.
in Funny Stuff, I Lift My Eyes Up, photography
as blah, blah blah, Daniel Day, daniel day lewis, dollar, Fair Hill, jenna, Jerry Springer, Jess, letter, Lewis, love, love letter to my husband, marylander, rhetorical question, running around in circles, sad little smile, sdfsd, Shane, sign, snow, something, sun, thing, world of memories
So it saves you a dollar to live in MD. Well, at least if you park your car in Fair Hill. Next time I go to MacDonald’s with a Marylander (and there are a few in my own family), thanks to Fair Hill, I think they should probably buy me something from the dollar menu. [...]
this I know.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings
as ducks in a row, family, fire, God, jenna, mom, mom talks, name, new shoes, share, stink bugs, warm fireplace
My family is strong and once again we all share the same name. I have been stuck on that sentence for a few days now. I keep thinking it and each time I do, it’s like the small fire that is somewhere deep in my spirit gets stoked a little higher. And this is strange, [...]
love story. kinda.
in Funny Stuff, Loved Ones
as bed, care bear, comf, crystal ball, hour, jenna, leg, something, swaddling, sweet nothings, whisperings
I’d like to be deep tonight, but I don’t think I can. I think I need to be closer to the air, if that’s okay. I’d like to talk about how the world is a crystal ball; how I need a friend to tell me what it looks like on the inside, because I’m too [...]
My name is Jessica and this is a nice, quiet space that I like to cram with words.
