First page of the jesus christ superstar archive.

can-do.

Posted by jessica on Jul 14, 2011 with 3 Comments
in Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
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The tips of my fingers hurt from playing the ukelele. They hurt so good. Cause I’m playing the ukelele! Oh, it’s great fun. And work. For me, those things generally tend to go together.

Ever since I came to New York City, I have been soundly beating my body up. I am not lying when I say that I am sore almost every day. I owe a lot of my soreness to capoeira. And yoga, too. And the occasional dance class. Which is $18 a pop and thus, occasional. But right now my right wrist is hurting due to my friend taking me down hard in class on Sunday.

It’s okay, it’s all a part of playing the game, see. In capoeira, you don’t call it fighting, you call it playing. And sometimes when you play, you get knocked onto the ground very suddenly. And you try to catch yourself with your wrist. But your wrist is a lot smaller than the rest of your body–or haven’t you noticed? Just trust me when I say that it is. So then your wrist hurts. Along with your ankle. And lately, your tailbone, too.

But all the hurting is worth it.

Which can also be said about living in general.

Today, I got to go to a fancy schmancy recording studio near my old digs in Chelsea. I recorded some vocals for the broadway warm-up, and I have to say, it was a blast. I LOVE to record. I love to stand in that booth with the earphones on and the microphone hot and sing. At one point, the producer had to stop me, though. “There was an interfering noise,” he said, all professional sounding. “Was there some sort of pop or explosion?”

And then I thought about it.

And knew just what he meant.

“Um, yeah…My ankle cracked when I did a plie.”

Enter: the sound of laughter from the control room.

And gosh, I am such a dancer.

I have always loved singing into microphones. I used to sneak down to my brother Jason’s room while he was at school and turn on the mic he had and just sing my heart out. I’d go from Les Miz to Jesus Christ Superstar to U2. And then since I was already being sneaky, I’d take out his prize collection of matchbox cars and play with them, too. The little porsche was always my favorite. The doors opened. I have a weakness for tiny doors that open, I guess.

Anyway, I felt lucky to be recording in that nice studio.

I have also been quite disciplined about my handstands lately. I do them every day, against a wall. I remember when I couldn’t even do that. I remember in college thinking that I would never be able to do that. And now I do it with ease. This makes me wonder what else I think I cannot do, but actually can, given the right dose of practice and courage.

It’s an exciting thought.

closing time

Posted by jessica on Nov 15, 2009 with 7 Comments
in Performance, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
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Took me over a year and a half, but I finally bought a sweatshirt.

An A Chorus Line sweatshirt, that is.
There’s nothing like an actual deadline to make you get something done. The whole time I have been on this tour I’ve been meaning to get a sweatshirt, but when the notice went up that Saturday, Nov. 14th would be the last possible day to buy merchandise, I got myself to the merch table.
Um, on Saturday, November 14th. You didn’t think I got there earlier than absolutely necessary, did you?
And now I am wearing my show swag and trying to figure out what the closing of this show means. And honestly, I don’t think I totally get it. I mean, my friend told me that as an actress, being employed gives her so much confidence and now she’s really gonna miss that and I get it. Another friend has mentioned that this is a family of sorts and where else are such good friends literally a hotel room away? Or in my case, in your hotel room? And I get that too.
But it’s weird, the last two times we’ve had cast change overs and people leaving, I cried on stage like I was reading for Mary Magdalene at the foot of the cross in Jesus Christ Superstar. And though I was probably perplexing the poor audience over just what, exactly, was so sad about Sing!, I still just couldn’t. Get it. Together.
But these last few shows, I’ve felt quite literally nothing.
And my friends are crying all around me, on stage and in the dressing room, and I am feeling unbelievably emotionless.
Maybe even a little happy to get on with it already, if I were totally honest.
And now my roommate just told me, Oh my God, Jess, it’s officially November 15th, closing day! And yes, we squealed together and yes, it’s daunting, but I remain just fine. Maybe it’s because this time I am finally going home; I am not being left behind and saying good-bye to friends. Well, I am saying good-bye to them, but it’s different this time. The whole shebang is closing and we are all off to pursue our dreams, our lives, our relationships even further.
We’re all off to light a fire under whatever it is we had to put on hold while gallivanting around the globe in leotards and jazz pants.
And somehow I see that this is a good thing. It’s gotta be. I know it’s what I want; I can’t do this show forever, nor do I want to. There are so many other projects I want to tackle, so many other people I want to see on a more regular basis (hi, drew!).
So yeah, it’s the end of the line.
The end of this line, at least.
And thank God it is.
But gosh, it’s been one heck of an incredible journey.
And who knows? Maybe I will have to admit that in our closing performance I was all tears and mush and sniffles and you guys will be laughing as you read it cause you knew that would happen all along.