First page of the man archive.

every day americana.

Posted by jessica on Dec 13, 2011 with 2 Comments
in Thoughts and Feelings
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“This is my sister, back in the fifties–doesn’t she look just like Audrey Hepburn?” said the elderly man behind me at Kinkos in Columbus Circle.

I looked at the faded black and white photograph he held in his hand; and then I looked at his white handle bar mustache–the kind that employs wax to make it curl up at the ends–and I took in his blue eyes sparkling with love and pride for his sister.

And was head over heels enchanted.

“She does look like Audrey Hepburn,” I said, the two of us gazing at her together now. “What an absolute beauty.”

“I know–wasn’t she, though?” he agreed, still clutching the photo, now yellowed with age. “I have to hold onto this sister, you see–I lost two of them within three months of each other last year.”

And it never ceases to amaze me how we can casually mention death like that. I mean, we do it–we have to–it’s a part of our world here. But it feels terribly wrong, tempered only by eternity and the fact that we will see each other again. Dear God, there is hope in that. Let us all rest our tired hearts right there.

I told him how sorry I was to hear about his sisters, and then I listened to his story. Or at least some of it. I learned about the house that his two remaining sisters own in Brooklyn. How the Duane-Reade family (yes, Duane-Reade. Aka the Rite-aid of New York City) has offered to buy that house many times, but I get the feeling that, whether or not your last name is Duane-Reade or even Obama, these sisters are no respecters of persons when it comes to giving up their home, thankyouverymuch.

The mustachioed man leaned in, lowered his voice in such a way that alerts the listener that you are about to hear something VERY! EXCITING! and VERY! SECRET!, and said in a sort of stage whisper right into my ear, “They offered my sisters one million dollars!”

And, forgive me, but I thought about that scene in Austin Powers, when the outdated terrorist threatens to destroy the whole world–or something like that, I don’t remember the details–unless they give him ONE MILLION DOLLARS. And the negotiators start laughing because–well, because that just isn’t very much to ask for these days. And I wondered aloud if maybe the house in Brooklyn is worth more than that now, but the man just dismissed such a notion as wrong and insisted on helping me with my polka-dotted suitcase.

Just like a perfect gentleman.

“What is your name?” I finally asked him, right before I left Kinkos.

“William,” he said, extending his hand to me. I shook it and told him my name and didn’t walk away until I said, “Well William, you’re wonderful.”

Any man who loves his sisters and waxes his mustache and helps me with my suitcase and has sparkling blue eyes and shares his story generously is more than wonderful, actually.

And this.
This is the bits and pieces of Americana that I relish. That I stand raptly before, happy to be here and now. Happy to witness it.

Another part of Americana is when I got called an idiot on the subway today. Not so adorable, that part. I told the lady that wasn’t very nice, which didn’t seem to make her think I was any less of an idiot, but oh well. Americana is a lot of things–good and bad–but always, always interesting, at least.

yoga.

Posted by jessica on Aug 27, 2010 with 7 Comments
in Funny Stuff
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I took a yoga class tonight and the teacher mentioned to me that I have “long levers.”
She mentioned this twice.
I thought that was kind of funny terminology and wanted to laugh.
I probably would have if a). that would not have been considered rude, b). it did not feel like one hundred and fifty thousand degrees in the room, thereby zapping me of my strength to do anything other than the pose I was trying to accomplish, and c). I thought that laughing would help me actually be able to balance my knees on my elbows for longer than 2.5 seconds.
The man next to me during the class was really into it.
Like, spandex pants into it.
He was so into that he could balance his knees on his elbows for much longer than my 2.5 seconds.
I tried not to be too jealous.
You can always buy spandex pants, but you cannot buy the ability to balance knees on elbows.
And yes, I checked ebay.
I was somewhat mollified by the fact that I could get my leg a lot higher in the air than he could.
And then I felt guilty for that mollification because the teacher said something like, “And remember, there is no judgement and no competition in this room,” right about then.
(but I still got my leg higher)
(I just tried not to think about it)
Is it bad that my favorite part of the class might just be vinyasa?
Because that is when you just lay there, still and serene with your eyes closed and I am pretty sure that I almost fell asleep while practicing it tonight.
In fact, I think I am gonna go all vinyasa right now.
And really fall asleep this time.

in which I say absolutely nothing about the 4th of july.

Posted by jessica on Jul 5, 2010 with 10 Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
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Sometimes the summer feels big. Too big; and here I am, small in comparison. The days have lengthened and I am not sure that I can stretch that far too. I am not sure that I can keep up. It is nighttime but not bedtime and I start to feel the way I can sometimes [...]

sorry about your…

Posted by jessica on Jun 2, 2010 with 6 Comments
in Funny Stuff, I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
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Oh man, I won two games tonight. What bliss. I, along with my team, won a game of ultimate frisbee and then I won a ping-pong tournament against someone who will remain nameless. Isn’t that so generous of me to leave him anonymous? I mean, it could really be a blow to his ego if [...]

lately.

Posted by jessica on May 28, 2010 with 18 Comments
in Thoughts and Feelings
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Lately I have been living on California time and I need to remember that the morning still happens and a lot of people even see it. Lately I have felt like hiding and people keep finding me anyway. I know this is a good thing, but sometimes I cannot tell you what I am planning. [...]

you build me up, buttercup.

Posted by jessica on May 25, 2010 with 23 Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
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Today I was in an elevator. *hold for applause* And there was a man in the elevator too. *the man gets no applause because this is not his blog* He had bright orange hair and we immediately had a connection; the kind that can only be shared by two people whose hair color comes out [...]

animal stories.

Posted by jessica on May 22, 2010 with 27 Comments
in Funny Stuff
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Oh no, it’s late. And I kind of knew this would happen. Because, see, we went to the open mic at the Castle tonight and whenever we go there we don’t get home till real real late. But what makes this especially unfortunate is that tomorrow morning I have to be up and at ‘em [...]

interesting.

Posted by jessica on Feb 23, 2010 with 16 Comments
in Uncategorized
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A couple of things stand out from today. I was introduced to a man this afternoon and when I tried to shake his hand, he told me that he doesn’t shake hands with ladies. I quickly put the offending hand out of sight within my pocket but didn’t mind so much because it was cold [...]

dumb dumb dumb

Posted by jessica on Feb 6, 2010 with 26 Comments
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
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Oh, I do dumb things sometimes. Okay, so I did a dumb thing once. Ha. I think I will have to stick with my original statement. Like the time I was really sad and afraid of the night, afraid of the quiet, afraid of my thoughts, and decided it would be a good idea to [...]

stairwells aren’t private but they are isolated

Posted by jessica on Oct 18, 2009 with No Comments
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
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Thank God for hackles and the way they raise. Because mine were put to use tonight. At least, they were if I actually have hackles. Or is it just dogs that have hackles? Well, whatever–something told me that a quick exit was in order, be it intuition, common sense, or just the fact that I [...]