First page of the mind and spirit archive.

thinking in sentences and writing it down.

Posted by jessica on May 20, 2011 with 2 Comments
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
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Okay, so these are some thoughts. And…here goes:

  • I was informed that the water in New Orleans is getting high and displacing some wildlife. Thus, the city has issued a SNAKE ALERT. That is what you call BAMF.
  • Tonight The Paper Janes rocked. Oh, it was fun. I felt it in my bones. And my spirit. And my mind. I am pretty sure I felt it in every part of me. That’s what happens when I really sing. Somebody recently was talking to me about the difference between singing in church and singing at bars. “Of course you can’t feel the same kind of thing when you sing in a bar as when you sing in church,” he concluded. “Actually, I do, kind of,” I surprised him by saying. And it’s true. I feel God in the singing. No, it’s not direct worship–and it’s different, absolutely–but I feel God there. And I feel myself doing exactly what it is I should be doing. It’s like the world is right. And all of me is getting along–my body, mind, and spirit. And I feel that way in church, too. So, there you go.
  • I have a loose policy that I don’t buy alcohol. But, I do accept it sometimes. Tonight a guy offered to buy me a drink. Well, okay. And then we talked for a while. And at one point, I mentioned that I had read a book about communist China, which he then followed up with, “And you’re smart, too.” It was actually quite funny to me. Because I felt a little like a dog being looked over by a breeder and a little like I had left the room and was being discussed. Plus, just cause you read a book, you are not necessarily smart. And even more to the point, just cause you say you read a book, you are not necessarily smart.
  • Which reminds me of something else that is funny. A little while ago Shane and I and my various nieces and one nephew were taking a puppy named Willow out for some filming. I’d tell you more, but the project is really quite secret and may or may not have something to do with Area 51. We wanted to bring her down by the stream, and, my mom, a new and nervous puppy-mama, gave some warnings to me, Shane, and Willow, as she hesitantly acquiesced.

“She’s not smart and she can’t swim!” she yelled to us from the top of the hill. And I am not quite sure which of us said it first, but we quickly followed it up with, “And neither can the puppy…” And then had a good laugh.

  • Today in yoga, one woman came in hopping mad about the noise people make outside the studio while doing whatever it is they are doing. She was complaining about how they don’t read the sign that very clearly says: QUIET, YOGA IN SESSION and make about as much noise as a person can make. “Yes, it’s a shame,” said the instructor. “But you know what? It’s life. We cannot control anyone else but ourselves. And what better way to practice this very thing then while practicing yoga?” Oh, man, so true.
  • I am really sad because I was offered the chance to dance in a flash mob in NYC and get paid for it. But it conflicts with another job that I am already doing, so I cannot do it. Oh well, I would have had to dance in a bikini. Maybe that sounds like more fun than it is.
  • I am tired, so tired. And am attempting a magic trick in the morning. It’s called getting up in six hours to practice yoga. Magic wand, don’t fail me now.

and good night.

Posted by jessica on Jul 31, 2010 with 10 Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
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Deep breath.

Okay, good.

And now go!

I’m just gonna write…and see what happens, maybe not even edit so much, though just saying that makes me feel all weak inside. And not in a sweet and swoony kind of way. More like in a but-I-want-it-to-be-perfect! kind of way.

Okay, so I just got to sing some songs for some people and how is it so very powerful? How does it effect my very psyche the way it does? My good friend Betsy says that performing is like being in love, and I have to say, it is.

You know that feeling of finally connecting with him? Maybe you’ve missed each other for a while, not really caught any signals of love that he has been throwing your way, and suddenly it lands. And your heart gets all relaxed and you feel like you, only the better version. The one who isn’t scared or jumpy inside; the one who remembers that life is best lived just being yourself. And with that kind of love that he gives you–just you!–well, you wouldn’t wanna be anyone else. Not ever.

And that’s what I feel like when I get to perform. It’s like there’s a mirror thrown up in front of me and it’s the kindest mirror there is. Too kind, probably. But it leaves me feeling content in my own skin. And full, too. My whole heart and mind and spirit are just full.

Cause see, there is this open mic at a place called the castle in town. And I had been going there to sing with Shane for what feels like forever because I barely remember my life before this past winter. But then Shane left and I got all shy about going to these places where we used to sing together.

Until Michael, kind Michael who runs the open mic, lured me there with promises of a keyboard. And how could I say no? And I am so glad that I went because, right: it was just what I needed.

And apparently I wasn’t the only one, either, because one guy I spoke with on my way out told me that he had had the most effing (but he didn’t say effing, you know) terrible day today and then when he listened to my songs, everything got better.

And that’s really nice. I mean, too nice, or something.

But there’s not a lot like music to lift my eyes up to see past whatever it is that’s making me all scared at the time. Except maybe the one who made music, I guess. Oh and dance. And also words. And people.

Okay, so there’s a few things.

But something that’s not like music at all: the fact that I have to get up in the morning to teach. It’s not the teaching part that’s so bad; it’s the getting up part that kind of gets me.

Ha, it gets me–it gets me UP.

Oh, so funny.

Oh, good night.

singing. yes.

Posted by jessica on Jul 9, 2010 with 6 Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
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Between Thursday and Monday of this week, Shane and I have three shows. That’s the good part. The sad part is that after that, it’ll be a good five months before we get to play another one. And yes, I said a good five months because I am determined to stay positive right now. Determined [...]