uno.

I woke up this morning and, while eating some cereal, spotted a mug. But not just any mug. Nope, this one had a few pictures of Latshaw West on it. Which made me realize how much I miss them. Which made me facetime them. But I made sure to wear my clothes and stuff.

Let me explain.

Before I had really gotten used to using facetime on my phone, I got a call from my brother one morning. But, a facetime call. So, you know, with video and stuff. Visuals. Anyway, I was in the middle of changing my clothes, but just picked up the phone anyway. Before you start praying for my brother’s eyes, let me assure you that he did not see a thing that I wouldn’t show the rest of the world.

Can we say HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF?

But.

I realized just in time, so said hello, then–before the screen really came to life–threw the phone on the bed, face down.

“Jessica?” Jase asked. “Are you there?”

“Yep!” I yelled, from a short distance. “Gimme two secs!”

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Putting a shirt on!”

“WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU ANSWER FACETIME WITHOUT A SHIRT ON?!” was what I heard next.

…

Well, that was quite a lesson, let me tell you.

Anyway, I facetimed Latshaw West and made sure to wear all the appropriate garb.

And then had a good conversation.

In which I realized something.

“I don’t think I’m gonna get married for a while yet,” I said to Darby, squarely into her face–that being the only thing I could really see. It was facetime, after all.

And the nice thing is that I was not lamenting this fact. Not at all, actually. I felt a kind of peace as I said this. And she nodded at me like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like it was a good thing, actually.

See, I come from this background where people get married very young. It’s a kind of race down the aisle for all the Christian kids–or at least, it can feel like that. It’s like marriage is the goal. What you do once you get there isn’t talked about so much–but marriage! DO IT! Which, incidentally, is more to the point of the race down the aisle, I think. You know: DO IT. Cause the idea for us Christian kids is to NOT do it until you’re married.

And then when my Plan A turned into a kind of Plan B that looked exactly like me not being married right now, I was devastated. A loved one even set a goal for me: “I think we can get you married by next fall,” he said.

Like it’s the middle ages and I am the Princess of Wales who needs to secure the line or something.

Like Craigslist has just the right space for me to place my personals add.

But ‘next fall’ came and went and, sure enough, I am not married. I am single. But, wonder of wonders, I am enjoying this. I do not believe I will be single forever–I try not to think of much in terms of FOREVER! or NEVER!, for that matter–but this season of life is pretty fun sometimes.

Plus the fact, I get scared of settling down with someone. I get scared that a bit of the adventure I love will drain away and I will be left staring at a television night after night, wondering who it is I am sharing a couch with and why he keeps trying to touch me; and if he gets me, truly gets me. Anyway, my point is that being single and waiting for the kind of man who makes me feel beautifully and wholly alive is way better than sitting next to some guy and feeling slightly numb, albeit warmer with him in my bed.

So, there you go. I’m single right now. And I’m okay with this. Not that I don’t ever want that magical thing called togetherness to happen–but, until it does, I sure am gonna enjoy right now for what it is.