here.
in Loved Ones, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
as airport, belgian, belgian waffle, chance, Darby, funny business, geography, Jase, kind, last november, LAX, Mentally, mickey mouse, November, Ollie, orange county, second, sense memory, setbacks, strange kind, waffles
I started the day off right with a Texas-shaped belgian waffle.
I wasn’t sure at first what shape they were going for. And yes, I know, that may have something to do with my poor grasp on basic geography. But see, I’ve only ever seen waffles shaped like well, waffles, or like Mickey Mouse. And this wasn’t either, you know, so it took me a second to land on Texas. Mentally, I mean. I had already landed on Texas the night before.
(man, that was a lot about a waffle)
(but it was shaped like Texas)
But I landed in Orange County instead of LAX this morning, and I had totally forgotten that it was the same airport I had gone to last November, when I needed to get away. And suddenly all those feelings came back to me–not in any kind of force that would knock be back to that state–but still, it was a strange kind of sense memory that I hadn’t anticipated. But the good news is that things are so different now; so wonderfully different from then. This I know well.
And then it just so happened that Ollie and I were left to our own devices for dinner. So we had a nice little one outside.
There was a bee who tried to join us for dinner, too. After two attempted dive bombs on his part (the bee’s, that is), Ollie suggested that we go inside. I asked if we could give the bee one more chance to behave, but if he tries any funny business, we’ll go right inside. Ollie agreed to this and it turned out we gambled right.
Cause we were left to just the two of us again and peace was restored as the bee was no longer in the vicinity.
Darby and I had a rather good time making Jase think that I was still in Houston all day long. He was away on work, and while I was here at their house we kept telling him that the plane was malfunctioning and my flight was cancelled and now I was behind so many people trying to get to LA from Houston that who knows when I’ll actually arrive. Jase was appropriately upset by these setbacks. Darby and I were appropriately cackling over each new text that furthered my hypothetical and sad plight.
Oh, it’s good to be here with Latshaw-West.
Good for the soul.
Oh, and this was kind of funny. While I was waiting at the gate to board my plane, I was in a conversation with a man. We were talking about music or something. Anyway, right in the middle of that, a soft spoken guy asked in broken english for us to please excuse him. We did, and then he quickly explained that he is an artist and had been drawing me and then handed me his rendering of me before he walked away. I thanked him and then glanced at the picture. And it’s the thought that counts, right? So nice.
But man, it doesn’t look a thing like me.
you don’t come around here anymore.
in Performance, video
as face, hasn, November, October, song, truth of the matter, way
I wrote this song back in October. Or maybe November. And I was too embarrassed to show it then, because I didn’t want people to know that I wasn’t loved anymore.
I was still working really hard at pretending like things were good. My face would hurt from the way I’d arrange my features, thinking if I looked loved then maybe it would translate into reality.
I remember writing this and thinking in my head, You don’t know for sure that he doesn’t love you. I mean he hasn’t said it yet.
And no, I suppose he hadn’t. Not in so many words, anyway. But I knew it, I guess. I mean, I wrote this song. So I must have known something. And this was before I knew the whole and terrible truth of the matter.
But still, it’s hard to pretend at love, I think. Eventually it shows. And eventually you write a song about the way that it shows.
And so here it is.
