oh, this day.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings
as benediction, course, Criminal, Dang, expletive, kind, life, little boys, onesie, outfit, planting pansies, poor aim, pop, prison uniform, rite of passage, someone, Speaking, sun, two dogs, word master
Today the sun was shining and it was warm enough to wear shorts. So I wore a faded denim onesie that makes me look a little like I just escaped out of jail. Or rather, like someone about five sizes larger than me just escaped out of jail and then lent me her outfit. Cause if she just escaped, she probably shouldn’t still be wearing her prison uniform, anyway. She’s no dummy, this larger-than-me-girl. Apparently, I know her now. I should, anyway, since I am borrowing her clothes.
But it was the kind of day that makes it downright criminal to not take a walk. Criminal. Apparently, I really can’t get away from the jail theme.
So my pop was planting pansies and the puppies were playing outside and life was just about as perfect as life ever gets around here, when I announced that we should all go on a walk. Well, not the puppies. But, the rest of us, anyway. Two parents, two dogs, two sisters, and one nephew.
Speaking of Eli, we were playing frisbee today when I heard him say, “Dang it!” under his breath, after throwing with poor aim. “When did you start saying ‘dang it,’ E?” I asked him.
Which is when, without missing a beat, he just looked at me and said, “When I turned five.”
Oh, of course. That’s a rite of passage that clearly involves that privilege. I can just see Eli kneeling before some Word Master, as if to be knighted, and before he stands, there is a benediction spoken over him that ends with: You may now use the term: dang it!
We went on a glorious, rambling walk. My pop yelled out, “FROG!” at one point, which, I assumed meant he saw one, though he didn’t actually ever say that. Perhaps, like Eli, “FROG!” is the expletive-type phrase he was bestowed with when he turned five. I will have to pay better attention and figure out what he means the next time he randomly yells out FROG!
I think that walks are some of the best things in the world. I think the same thing about hikes. And little boys who say dang it! And bigger boys who yell FROG! And days in which pansies are planted for the sole purpose of beauty and color and even though they might not last the whole year, they are here right now and so are we, dang it, so are we. So let’s walk with each other and remind each other that life is better than we’d ever thought it could be.
belts, bye, and a space-age onesie.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as belt, divorce certificate, drew, flower pattern, gonna, Ingrid Michaelson, Japan, leather belt, M A BELT, onesie, plain jane, something, wanna
I have a space-age onesie.
I like it.
It’s not the sort of thing I’m gonna wear to church. I think I’d be just a little too self-conscious in it, considering it’s silver and collared and all that. But I do like it.
It’s like Startrek meets couture or something. And then puts on a pair of heels. Cause I’ve only worn it with heels.
And I’ve only worn it in Japan.
Which is interesting because, well, Drew hasn’t ever seen me wear it. And neither have any of you, most likely, but the difference is that Drew might very well never see me wear it. And yeah, I know. That’s a lyric that’s just begging to go into a song:
And now you’ll never see me in my space age silver onesie…
It should probably be a country song. Or a rap. Definitely a rap.
And then the other day I realized that the only belts I have right now are either bright pink, bright blue, or purple. So yeah, what about if one needs to wear a belt that doesn’t say, LOOK AT ME!! I’M A BELT THAT NEVER GOT THE ATTENTION I NEEDED WHILE GROWING UP!!!!
Oh, what’s that? All the normal people have belts that are either a polite and respectful brown or black? And they get these alleged belts at places like Macy’s? Great.
So I went to Macy’s and took way too long to decide upon one sensible brown leather belt. And yes, it’s got some flower pattern etched into it cause, come on. You really think I’m gonna go completely plain jane on you?
And as I was buying it I had the thought: Drew doesn’t know about this belt and may never know about this belt.
And sure, it’s just a belt. I mean, there’s a freaking divorce certificate that will be arriving in the mail before too long so maybe I should save my mental processing for that beast, but these details, they are significant too. And the belt is just another detail of my life that is separate from his and whoa! I never could have predicted this.
And tonight I got to go see Ingrid Michaelson (who was stunningly awesome, by the way) and she sang this line–
I don’t wanna be the one to say goodbye
But I will, I will, I will
I don’t wanna sit on the pavement while you fly
But I will, I will, oh yes I will
And see, it’s true. I never did wanna be the one to say goodbye. Not once. And I always hated each of the regular goodbyes that were a part of our life together, what with my job continuing to take me away and all that.
But sometimes goodbye is the right thing to say and sometimes it’s more just like bye because there just doesn’t seem like much good left. Until, that is, you do say goodbye.
And start to buy belts on your own.
And yes, it’s just a belt, but it’s something.
And something usually leads to something else which in this case I’m hoping is gonna be good.
