today.
in Thoughts and Feelings
as american ballet theatre, audition, bakery, bumble bees, calling, daughter, deal, dish, extra ticket, life, long a vowel, long a vowel sound, middle name, nutcracker, order, reason, today, waitress, waltz of the flowers
Today I go to an audition. I wear a dress that looks like a bell. I talk to a woman named Jane while waiting to sing. She tells me that sometimes she just wishes she has a name that isn’t so plain.
“No!” I say, quickly. “I love the name Jane; I want Jane to be my daughter’s middle name someday,” I tell her.
“Why?” she asks. “Why do you love my name?”
“I love how it sounds, the nice, long ‘a’ vowel sound; how short a word it is, and yet how timeless.”
I don’t tell her that it’s vintage and I love vintage things. Because she is older than I and has already mentioned this once or twice, to the point where I think this must be a big deal for her–but maybe not in a good way–so calling her name vintage might not make her happy.
“Thank you for liking my name,” she says, before she goes in to sing.
“It’s perfect,” I tell her.
I leave the audition and go to meet a friend. We are going to try out a bakery we found. It’s French. When we get there, he orders a sandwich and I order soup. The waitress places what must be a sandwich down in front of him, though the only reason one would know that is because that’s what the menu says. It looks nothing like a sandwich. “This is the strangest dish I’ve ever seen in my life,” my friend says.
I offer him some of my soup.
It actually looks like soup, too.
Bonus.
I go off to meet more friends. They have an extra ticket to American Ballet Theatre’s Nutcracker. I am mesmerized. Riveted. And then laughing. Because there are bumble bees in ABT’s version of the Nutcracker. They dance around on stage during waltz of the flowers and look basically ridiculous. I don’t even know if it’s supposed to be funny or not; it doesn’t matter, though, because it is.
And in this little sequence of the events of my little life, I am content. In fact, my heart wells up with joy. I feel grace on me so tangibly, like the unmistakable heat from the sun. Nothing is perfect; everything is wonderful. I don’t always feel this way, but today I do and so, if you don’t mind, I’m not in any kind of rush to tomorrow.
me vs. my room.
in Thoughts and Feelings
as adulthood, car, closet, couple weeks, current room, Heck, order, purse, reason, rehearsal, roommates, step ladder, step ladders, tight schedule, time, tonight, underwear
This is a problem.
My room.
Well, my current room, anyway.
See, for the past couple weeks now, I have not slept in once. Not once! ‘Welcome to adulthood, Jessica,’ is what you might be thinking. But, when an adult happens to be an artist–well, there still isn’t often a reason to get up early. Okay, maybe for auditions–I will give you that. Oh, and church. But certainly not when I was touring. Really, getting up early on tour meant having to be at the theater by 1:00 for a 2:00 matinee. Me and my roommates would try to be in bed early the night before–like by 2 or 3 am.
But now I’m having to get up around 7:30 in order to be at rehearsal. And I am on a tight schedule once I get up–like, I need to be in my car at a certain time and I don’t give myself a lot of time to do nothing. Or even something, for that matter. And the morning generally consists of trying to find something, which is generally not scheduled. Today it was my purse. I finally found it buried under a mound of clothes. Yesterday, it was a certain pair of pants–I found them in my closet. Well, the floor of my closet. Tonight it was some underwear. Which is still MIA, actually. Anyway, my problem is that my room gets completely unorganized.
And it’s not entirely my fault, either. The two reasons proving this point, are 1). I have my lifetime’s worth of stuff packed into a tiny, strangely shaped room and 2). The other day, I found a large step ladder smack in the middle of my room. At first, I didn’t really notice it (yes, my room is that unorganized right now. Unorganized enough to miss a huge step ladder parked in it), but well, it’s here–and I didn’t put it there. So please enlighten me, folks: just how the heck is a girl supposed to keep a room neat when people are putting step ladders in it?
Another problem is that every time I decide to clean my room, I end up writing a song instead.
And guys, I am pretty prolific.
So…let’s just say, yeah: my room is, um, pretty messy; it’s simple math, really.
But tonight I made sure to put my purse in plain view. There is other underwear I can use. I have already planned out the pants I want to wear tomorrow. And the stepladder is now an extra couple of shelves for clothes (what else?).
And someday I will be perfect and my room will be neat all the time.
Or maybe not.
friday night.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as access, banana, bathroom, big mistake, cab, cab driver, cabbie, dominican music, eighty six, exit, fool, girl, home, kind, Leão, mistake, morning, nobody, nope, order, Palenta, privet, random place, six cents, Spalenka, Times Square, traffic jam, train, Uh-oh, way, wonderful girl, wrong way
I just bought a banana from a random place in Times Square in order to gain access to their bathroom at 2:30 in the morning. And nope, I didn’t even eat the banana. But it was eighty-six cents well spent, I can tell you that. I just took a cab home because I was too [...]
to do list.
in Performance
as audition, figure, four hymns, Learn, Mee-nah-mee-nah-mee, melody, music, nevermind, Oops, order, rehearsal, spellcheck, taping, three minutes, vocal exercises, warmup, youtube
Things I need to do in the realm of SOON!: learn four hymns to sing at a memorial on Sunday. Hymns? I think, No problem–I’ll just listen to them on youtube. Except they aren’t on youtube. Which means I have to actually, like, read the notes. Painstakingly. And figure out which note is the melody. [...]
concrete jungle where dreams are made…
in Thoughts and Feelings
as business, city, concrete jungle, dancers, far cry, fingertips, footsteps, good, kind, order, own business, pace, princess, rhythm, roller, street, street performers, subway, way, wheels
I like the city, and this is why: -I feel small here. Small and quiet and neat, even. Like I am not disrupting anything, but quietly minding my own business. Not in the obnoxious way in which that phrase is often and incorrectly used, but in the real sense of it. I am tending to [...]
siblings!
in Loved Ones, photography
as canine kind, conclusion, coolest, dark eyes, dark hair, ear, funny faces, fur, FYI, kind, lot, order, sibling, siblings, Smooshy, someone, time
One day there were siblings. The human kind and the canine kind. Both kinds are good. Both kinds are very photographable. See? Siblings with dark hair and dark eyes. And sleeping siblings, too. Siblings with funny faces. And siblings with fur. (we are the ones with the funny faces; they are the ones with the [...]
this is what you’d call practical. informative. bulleted.
in MP3, Thoughts and Feelings
as apartment, austin tx, back in the day, bulleted, deodorant, friend john, god doesn, goodness, how to hear god, kind, March, mojo, Newark, order, Philly, pop, Scary, song, Speaking, Thursday
Here is some news, in no particular order: There is a song at the end of this. My wonderful friend John is giving me his apartment in NYC for March through June. I will be living in Chelsea. By myself. Whoa. Awesome. Scary. But more awesome. And I will be coming back to good old [...]
exclamation points! among some other things.
in Performance, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
as answer right, business, closet, clothing, collage, comfy, easy songs, eighties, esque, exclamation point, exclamation points, four months, inspiration, kind, kind of sentence, mindset, moon, order, order of business, pop, shovel, sweater
Okay, first order of business. Remember how I was talking so much about cardigans? Well, no, I did not find one, but I did find this lovely purple sweater. It’s all eighties and comfy and purple (which is what I meant when I said the lovely purple sweater). But the best part is that I found [...]
saltines? sure.
in Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings
as ballad, bounty, broadway show, case in point, cat, comma, eagles, friend john, Ipod, kind, older woman, orange tabby cat, order, show, shuffle, side, snacks, train, way, woman
I am spending the night with my lovely friend John tonight. His orange tabby cat is happily curled up in the shape of a comma at my side, in the manner that only a cat can do. John is working hard, doing his broadway show right now, and I am proud of him. I love [...]
“we’re all mad here.” –the cheshire cat
in Funny Stuff, Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings
as baby, ballet, bright stripes, brother, burst, cat, caterpillar, cheshire cat, chicken, chickenIt, dances, Darby, day, eminem, five dollars, goodness, guitar, hit, house, Jase, nobody, nobody answers, none, order, point, progression, psych, psychedelic, raps, silence, song, sort, time, time of day, today, tone, tottie
I am playing a progression of chords on the guitar. Darby starts singing baby, it’s cold outside, and goodness, but I am not playing anywhere close to the right chords for that song, but she’s making it work. So I join her. You would have done the same, trust me. ——- At any given time [...]
