lovebirds.

I see them everywhere.
Love birds.

You know, like a real couple.

“It’s like that,” my mom told me, after I mentioned this to her.

“After Mimi died, I saw her everywhere.”

Which is quite a feat, since my mom’s mom was 4’10 and had a bright red beehive piled high on top of her head. Not exactly a commonplace sight. I mean, it’s not like she was 5’5 with medium length brown hair and blue eyes–something that one is a little more apt to see everywhere, I think.

“Grief has a way of pointing out our losses to us, over and over again,” my mom continued. “It’s normal.”

But is it normal to stare at the couples as they parade by, so incredibly happy and well-fed? I just assume they are well-fed because it seems like what a lot of couples like to do is go out to eat.

But I could be wrong, I guess.

And is it normal to watch the way they interact, all discreetly and from a distance, not unlike Dian Fossey with her beloved gorillas? I study and gather data and try to learn. Or, it’s almost like I’m living that celebrity section in People Magazine. You know (or maybe you don’t; if not, it’s probably better that way, anyway)–but the part where there are images of stars doing everyday”normal” things, with captions like: They go rollerblading! and They carry their groceries from the cart to their car! and They change their baby’s diaper! I think we’re supposed to see all that and think, Well I do that stuff, too; guess we’re really not all that different, after all…

And we’re not. I mean, people are people are people.

But one difference I can think of?

Nobody’s photographing me carrying my groceries in from the car…So, right.

Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that I watch couples intently because I like to see people in love. It’s encouraging. I mean, if Bob from the corner deli can be totally and transcendently in love, then that must bode well for me, too. And also, I kind of wonder if anyone has ever actually been in love with me. I mean, I have been in love with a few good (I use the term good very loosely) men before. Um, not at the same time. And not the movie, either. But I know this–what has come from my heart is love. I just wonder what it will be like when, one day, it’s reciprocated.

I think it must be magic. Hard to see, hard to explain, but changes the world, one heart at a time.

Or maybe it’s like the Care Bear Stare. That most famous weapon when the bears came together in one accord and projected light from the special symbol on their tummies.

Cause that makes a lot of sense.

Anyway, I am not positive yet, but when I know, I will be sure to try and spill the beans to the best of my ability.

Until then, I will continue to watch and creepily snap photos with my iPhone of those celebrities I see who are commonly referred to as ‘couples.’