(i’m not your)broadway baby.
in Thoughts and Feelings
as alliteration, broadway baby, broadway tour, change, cliche, comic, half, house, Jim Gaffigan, laughter, pause, phrase, phrase cards, remark, song, way, yeah
He used to call me his broadway baby and I didn’t like the way that sounded. Because the alliteration annoyed me and also, I was only doing a Broadway tour, mind you, and I didn’t want to pretend otherwise.
He wrote me a half of a song once. Half of a song. That about sums it up because he never did finish it. Also, the words “broadway baby” were in the chorus. I would suggest a change, something that sounded a little less cliche, perhaps, but it was his song. Or rather, his half of a song.
He recently told me that he found a box of cards that people had written to me, stashed away in some corner of the house he still lives in. He asked me if I wanted those cards. I remembered that I am me, that I love words, that a card is a special and dear thing, so I said, “Um, yeah.” And then he told me that he would make sure there were no cards in the box from him. There was a pause in the conversation then, with that last phrase, “cards…from him…” hanging in the air between us. “I know I wasn’t very good at giving you cards,” he finally said. And then I laughed. I burst out into laughter like he was Jim Gaffigan, a standup comic that actually makes me laugh, because not many do.
And he listened to my laughter and amended his remark to, “I know I wasn’t very good at giving you cards, among other things.”
And all I could do was agree.
Because no, he wasn’t very good at giving me cards, but that is maybe close to the bottom of a very long list of things he wasn’t very good at when it came to me.
And he never did finish that song.
And now I no longer want him to.
emocionado, emocionado, emocionado.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as Auto, caveat, cheese, different kinds, Draft, espanol, exclamation points, facebook, flava, macaroni and cheese, pause, percent, person, spanish word, texts, time, tomorrow, version, way
Have I told you about the time I tried to speak spanish? Well, actually, I tried to text it.
See, I have this friend named Andrew. He is a newer friend and I like him very much. He has eaten my macaroni and cheese and I have read one of the stories he wrote when he was all of five years old. If that is not a friend, I do not know what is.
One night we were commenting back and forth on facebook. He decided to message me his number in order to not have to speak by way of facebook anymore. There was one caveat: I prefer texts in spanish, he told me.
I don’t know spanish. But I figured, I got this one. How hard could it be to make your words sound a little Spanish?
And I texted him something. In my own hackneyed version of espanol, I told Andrew that I was very excited to see him the next day. Except I said it with many exclamation points, like this !!!!!!!!!!!! and when I was trying to think of the Spanish word for excited, I wrote down something that sounded like the word, but with some flava, some spanish flava.
So I said something about being muy excitado to see him.
And then there was a pause.
………………………..
And then he wrote back and was like, “I’m pretty sure you don’t mean what you said…because you just told me that you are very HORNY to see me tomorrow…”
And oh, I started laughing very very hard. Because Andrew is a person who is one hundred percent fantastic, but no, I am not horny to see him.
And now I will not soon forget that there are two different kinds of excited in Spanish: excitado and emocionado. And generally speaking, I am pretty much the latter.
