First page of the punch line archive.

warm.

Posted by jessica on Apr 28, 2010 with 8 Comments
in Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings
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My family gets together and it’s like a pot-luck dinner of words.

Only there’s no dish that looks suspiciously like the untouched food from your high school cafeteria. But since I never went to high school, I can’t really say for certain what that looks like. I have watched movies, though, so I have an idea, anyway.

And each of us seems to bring the best kinds of commodities to the table. Like cadbury eggs at Easter time. And the shake-paw cookies my dear sister-in-law Darby makes once in a great while. Oh, and the chicken corn soup my mom makes when the snow keeps piling outside our windows higher and higher; when the chance of getting to wherever it is you were supposed to go gets less and less likely .

And then we get there.

That place in our conversation where we know the stories so well, we start to laugh even before the punch line. And suddenly it’s like someone almost died in the Bible again, it’s that hilarious. And it’s the stories that chronicle life lived together–stranger than fiction, though they may seem sometimes–that make me feel…undivided or something. Like I don’t need to look around for life anymore; it’s happening right now. All around me. And it turns out it’s not the kind of hard work you sometimes hear about. Turns out it’s more about being present and connecting with the people around you, and all the better when they happen to be family, I guess.

And we listen to the stories about my pop being on some kind of new medication for his migraines and waking my mom up in the middle of the night, convinced that the aliens have finally come. And I pretend to remember the time when a man tried to drag my pop out of our van–punching a hole through the car window after he inadvertently cut him off in traffic. There was my mom, freaking out, praying and crying, while I was in the back of the van along with the rest of the kids. I was too little to know what was happening, but not too little to really enjoy the ice cream cone I was eating.

And I am not sure exactly what has made me think of this tonight, except I did try to mention to my friend that the weekend is supposed to get up to the nineties. Only it came out to sound more like this summer is supposed to get up to the nineties–to which he replied by telling me how next winter might snow.

ha. ha. ha.

Anyway, I look forward to the feel of summer. And that makes me think of evenings that are better lit for more hours; of sitting on our porch and talking with friends and family; of my birthday and probably crying because it’s a lot of pressure to be the center of attention, even if just for a day, while at the same time crying because I love love love hearing my family say what they love about me.

Which is one of our traditions. The birthday person gets a compliment from each person in the family. No repeats. No saying what you don’t like about them, either. Though somebody usually suggests it, anyway, since we happen to know a thing or two about sarcasm around here.

Shocker, I know.

Case in point, I know.

But anyway.

This weekend is supposed to be real, real warm. And that’s how I feel when my family reminisces, I guess. So there you go: the connection.

normal special

Posted by jessica on Aug 23, 2009 with No Comments
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
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I think that it’s better to just be introduced as pretty normal.

Or at least, normal in the way that it is normal for everyone to be special. Not more special, necessarily. Just normal special.
Let me explain.
Before meeting someone recently, a mutual friend described him to me as the funniest person I’ve ever met in the world, among other things.
And not even meaning to, I start thinking that wow, this guy has got to be just hilarious. And suddenly I am totally excited to have my own version of Jim Gaffigan in my life. He’ll sing the Hot Pocket! song and then just when you think that he’s exhausted the joke completely, he’ll throw a curve ball and sing it in Spanish: Caliente Pocket! And you’ll think it’s even funnier because you had a horse named Caliente when you were little and wow, how ironic, and boy isn’t that funny?
At least, that’s the kind of stuff that happens when I listen to Jim Gaffigan.
But now that I’ve met this guy? I keep waiting for the Extreme Funny to happen.
For the punch line, so to speak.
But it still hasn’t happened. In fact, at times he has not even picked up on my sarcasm!
But if I had had no preconceived notions about his omnipotent sense of humor, then I would probably just think that sure, he’s funny. Yet, because I had this expectation and keep measuring him against it, he unfortunately comes out lacking.
Poor guy.
Not his fault at all, and he really is an awesome individual; he’s just not the funniest person in the world but really, who is?!?!
So anyway, that is why I think it might be a good idea to avoid referring to others as the MOST IN THE WORLD of anything, really.
Unless when it comes to a lack of sense of direction, cause then I totally win.