I know better.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as accordion, baby, brooklyn, cab driver, cake shop, conversation, doozy, happenstance, nobody, one of those days, question, random news, right, something, SPEAKER--if, sweet lady, tdbank, vowel
Right now, I am laying in a bed with freshly washed sheets, thinking about the things I said recently that made me sound rather moronic. Like, when I asked the guy in Brooklyn–WHEN HE WAS CLEARLY LUGGING AROUND A SPEAKER–if that was his accordion.
He had told me that he played the organ and something about the vowel sounds in organ made me think of the word accordion, and so, when I ran into him a little bit later by happenstance, I asked, “Oh! is THAT your accordion, then?”
Looking at the black, rectangular speaker that he was rolling around via dolly, he quietly answered, “It’s actually a speaker.”
I know that. I KNOW that. I know the difference between a speaker and an accordion. Oh, man.
But, that’s not nearly as bad as last night, when I asked a sweet lady the question that I know nobody should ask. Not unless you actually SEE a baby crowning, do you assume a woman is pregnant.
But, what did I do last night? After I played at the Cake Shop, I met a couple who just missed my performance because a cab driver had gotten them lost (and they aren’t from the city). Often, I try to talk to people about themselves; I don’t like all the attention on me, so I will include their lives in the conversation. So I said, “Oh my gosh! And you’re pregnant?!”
“No…I just had a baby…”
What do you say then? JUST KIDDING? You can’t. I ran right on ahead to the congratulations part of the conversation, but still.
I KNOW NOT TO ASSUME THAT.
Just like I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SPEAKER AND AN ACCORDION.
Now to actually act like I know these things, I suppose.
Oh well, the good (and random) news is that my sheets are clean. And so are my clothes at the moment.
Tomorrow is one of those days that is a bit of a doozy. A good doozy, don’t get me wrong, but a doozy, nonetheless. I have a rehearsal for an industrial gig for TDBank from 6-10 pm (which I am in charge of! Hello, my name is Jessica and I hardly like to be in charge of anything. Except maybe decorating my family’s Christmas tree. And, okay, some baking projects)–and right after that, I have to run on over to Sleep No More’s Story Telling concert in which I am getting all fancified up for in a vintage dress, some fishnets, and heels (thanks for the kicks, Bets!). While there, I will sing some songs–one of them being an eminem song on the ukulele. Another one being Sweet Child of Mine on the uke. And then another in which I get to play the piano (thank goodness!) and am just singing some background vocals (thank goodness again!).
I am actually really excited for it. Collaborating with other musicians–super talented musicians–is like getting to share the wealth. Wealth being music, in this case.
Hopefully, during this doozy of a day I will not say anything extraordinarily ignorant, rude, or stupid.
Here’s hoping.
you said WHAT?
in Funny Stuff
as cardboard, clear as day, glass, good sense, gosh, haunches, house, life, mind, monkey house, neo nazi, question, silverback, silverback gorillas, sister, today, wilds, zoo, zoo keeper, zoo keepers
I find life utterly and unanimously fascinating.
Which is why I was pumping a zoo keeper today for information about the gorillas, while we were in the monkey house. Because the silverback gorillas who were just chilling, eating cardboard and scratching their heads while sitting back on their respective haunches were totally fascinating. And I wanted to know more.
Specifically, I wanted to know how a gorilla came to be in a zoo. I mean, are they sitting there behind the glass dreaming of the wilds of Africa that they once knew? Because if so, that’d make me terribly sad. So sad, that I might just bring my own cardboard and pensively chew it, myself.
Anyway, that was the question I was trying to form. What I ended up saying, however, was vastly different. See, the keywords that were in my mind were “capture” and “zoo.” Makes pretty good sense, I think. Until I opened my mouth and said, clear as day:
“So, do you capture jews?”
Yes. That is what I said.
DO YOU CAPTURE JEWS?
I asked a zoo keeper this today.
Oh, gosh. My sister even heard me and had to leave, she thought it was so funny and weird. Luckily, the zoo keeper was either too polite or not paying enough attention to respond directly to the fact that I had basically just accused him of being a neo-nazi.
And for the record, I do not now, nor have I ever, suspected that zoo keepers go around capturing jews.
what we say backstage.
in Funny Stuff, I Lift My Eyes Up, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as call, cheater, God, kind, long time, none, none of that stuff, nothing but the truth, proverb, question, relationships, something, something is better than nothing, stage, tastes, time, truth, witness
I have this lovely friend. She and I talk about boys. The lovely and the lame–we talk about them all. Well, the ‘all’ that we’ve known at least. We sit on the set bed while it’s backstage and we discuss. We don’t sit on it while it’s onstage and discuss, cause we’d probably be fired [...]
our best.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
as belly, bests, dancing, dancing feet, disappointment, everybody, God, Jess, Low, messes, offensive word, question, resilience, ridiculousness, shifting sands, something, stomach, version, wonder
We’re all just trying our best. I try to remember that. Even when I am talking to my friend late at night; we’re laughing about the latest ridiculousness one of us has come across and suddenly I’m crying. I’m asking that question that everybody tries to encourage right out of me. “There’s nothing wrong with [...]
the fresh start room.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
as America, brother jonathan, dear god, Delaware, fresh start, God, honeymoon, jonathan, little trip, lot, question, reason america, start, Tiger
So my brother Jonathan has a new blog up and running. I just read his post about a first that he recently experienced. And um, it’s one heck of a first, I’ve got to say. Which reminds me of today. As if I really need a reminder. As if the email I got from outofyourlife.com [...]
