good news. bad news.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as Auto, california achievement test, curse word, Draft, everything, good news bad news, GRE, guide, kind, massage, math portion, math practice, math problem, old princeton, pocket dictionary, study, time, today, wallet, way, word mom, yoga class
The good news is that I bought a pocket dictionary today. I used to have one that I carried with me in my bag all the time and I loved knowing that little book that could tell me what everything meant was with me. I mean, all those words! I was downright rich with them, right in my pocket like that. The bad news is that, honestly, I think all of my pants are way too tight to carry any kind of book in one of my pockets. I can’t even fit a wallet in there, let alone a dictionary–I don’t care how small it is.
The good news is that I bought a big old Princeton Review study guide, in preparation for the GRE. The bad news is I was stumped on the very first math practice question. I mean, totally stumped. Like, if I was a tree, I had been cut down to just a little nubbin (is that not what stumped is referring to?), at the first glance at this math problem.
The good news is that I actually got a perfect score on the math portion of my CAT (california achievement test) in second grade. The bad news is it’s been a minute since second grade and also, most schools don’t actually care to find out about the result of your CAT from when you were in second grade, which is really too bad for me.
The good news is I went and took a yoga class tonight. Oh, it was all kinds of good for me and yes, relaxing, too. The bad news is I had a pretty bad conversation with someone directly afterwards, and that probably had the opposite effect of yoga on my mind, body, and spirit. So, I wonder: does that mean they cancel each other out? Meaning that, at the end of the day, it feels like I didn’t take yoga–but it also feels like I didn’t have a bad conversation with someone? Let me check…still feeling pretty limber (which would mean I did take yoga)…and still feeling pretty pissed (which would mean I did have that bad conversation).
The good news is that pissed isn’t actually a curse word (mom). The bad news is that I am actually feeling that way. But I read somewhere that it still holds to be true that it is better to be pissed off than pissed on. Because, as my friend Shane says, if you’re the latter, than you end up being BOTH pissed on and pissed off. So at least I am just one out of the two, right? Right.
The good news is that there are some people that are true, salt of the earth kinds of humans and they make trust come easy. The bad news is that there are some people who you simply cannot trust, and the more chances you give them to prove themselves, the more disappointed and pissed you find yourself.
The good news is that I am learning to tell the difference between those people. The bad news is that it was not always this way.
The good news is that there are some people in the world with wonderful names such as Vance Funk. The bad news is that he’s a lawyer and I need to call him tomorrow.
The good news is that I semi-cleaned my room recently. The bad news is that it is now only semi-clean.
The good news is that it is now Sep-to-the-Em-to-the-Ber. And I am not absolutely positive as to the exact reason for this, but I have such hope for this month. There’s something about moving forward that I like; something about a change in seasons, and I just feel like there’s so much good in store for all of us this fall. The bad news is that I totally forgot to put a ‘t’ in that September I tried to craftily spell up there. As my friend Joe would say, too fancy, too fancy.
The good news is that I have a few really cute headbands. The bad news is that I don’t always take showers, which is when those really cute headbands come into play. I actually could have really used one this afternoon, while driving my friend Christian to get his car at the auto repair shop. Maybe then he wouldn’t have taken one look at me and said, “Your hair is…interesting…” At which point I said, “You mean…dirty.”
And lastly, the good news is that I came into contact with a massage therapist who wants to swap some pilates from me for a massage from her. The bad news is I have to wait two whole weeks for this sweet business to happen.
hardy har har.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as bursts of laughter, god questions, har, knee slapper, peace in my heart, prayer, study, talking about prayer, therapist, Voice
When I talk to my therapist, I often preface something I am about to say with, This probably sounds crazy…”
And then I say whatever it is I am saying.
And then she promptly disagrees with me.
In fact, she has not told me that I am crazy once.
Not even when I told her that I sometimes joke about what’s happened. You know, the whole my-husband-had-an-affair-and-that’s-just-some-of-the-story.
What, you’re not laughing? Well, okay. Maybe when I put it like that, it’s not exactly a knee slapper, but sometimes things just strike me as hilarious.
Like tonight, at a bible study.
We were talking about prayer and how we listen for God to answer some of our questions. And I was trying to make the point that sometimes, when it’s a really important decision, I don’t just listen for that often talked about still small voice. I also look for peace in my heart and the counsel of people I trust and you know, if it’s a door that is opening and is indisputably good. I mean, I don’t really just ask God really high stakes questions and wait for a yes or no and then run blindly on that.
But what I said was this:
I don’t just ask God questions and wait for an answer. Like…I never asked God who I should marry…
And then what I said dawned on me, probably right after it dawned on everybody else. And I remembered who I actually had married and what a disaster that turned out to be. So I quickly tagged on:
…But maybe I should have.
And all of us burst out laughing, every one of us in that room. I think someone even managed to say that they loved me, in between bursts of laughter, of course.
I felt myself get warm all over and I was good and embarrassed and for once, I was kind of speechless for a good minute or two. And afterwards, my friend Christian and I were talking about it and laughing again. That was just too good, Jess, he said. Of all the examples you could have brought up…!!!
And I know, I know. Ridiculous.
But also? Hilarious.
