bam bam bam and that was Tuesday.
in Performance, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
as car, creativity, gossamer, husband, kind, last session, musician, nashville, pole, Shane, show, solstice, stage, state, storm, summer solstice, summer storm, tiny stage, way
There is a storm rattling around outside my window.
It’s a summer storm.
A summer solstice storm.
What a celebration. The thunder welcomes the official start of summer, and, though I don’t know how to make such a powerful noise, I agree with it.
I had my last session with my therapist this morning. She is moving to Nashville because she believes in following dreams–gossamer and illusive things that they are–and her husband is a musician. She can talk people through their trauma in any old state; but her husband feels that he will write his songs best in Nashville.
She has helped me a lot; I will miss her. But I am happy to see her living in such a way as to take the kinds of risks from which dreams are realized.
And tonight, The Paper Janes had a show in Philadelphia. We played on a tiny stage that had a pole on it. The kind you can dance on. I did not dance on it so much, but I sure did lean on it while I was singing. It was kind of reassuring, having a pole to lean on like that.
We also did a spontaneous photo shoot after the show. It all started because I saw a car that matched Shane’s pants. Brilliant, right?
And then we kept finding cars that matched us.
So we posed in center city in front of random cars (though that one was not so random, being my own and all).
Then whoever was not in the picture got to edit it, giving a big reveal after their creativity was sated.
It was a good day.
And a good night.
And it’s gonna be a good summer.
images. words. cause it IS a blog.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Performance, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
as answer, carlsen, Dan Dunlap, drew, finger nails, God, Held, life today, Olivia Carlsen, Peace, piece, sariel, seams, summer storm, time noon
These *images are from the piece I recently choreographed, Sariel.
Strong.
Together.
Held.
Surrounded.
Weak.
Broken.
Sustained.
Carried.
Lost.
Resilient.
Humbled.
Bereft.
Grasping.
No longer empty handed.
Found.
How can a person be all of those things? How can we burst at the seams with how we feel and still eat sandwiches because, by the time noon rolls around, lunch feels important again?
How can the mingling of the mundane and the surreal collide with me every day, creating a kind of thunder, so to speak, that can eventually feel as normal as the sound of a summer storm in July?
And how many Sundays in a row will I have to tell someone that, no, the reason I am no longer with Drew is not because I was away on tour? So far the answer is two, but hey, there’s always next Sunday, I guess.
So many questions, but I don’t think that peace is necessarily in the answers. Though I wouldn’t mind knowing them, so don’t be shy if you know and if the answer is what most would deem nice.
I think there is peace in living fully in the present; getting home and finding your finger nails good and dirty because you dug so deep into the stuff of life today. I think there is peace in realizing that, sure, five minutes fromt now might find you somewhere else–somewhere shocking, even–but right now, this is where God has put you and you might as well live like it’s good.
Because, you know, it just might be good after all.
*pictures taken by Dan Dunlap; dancers: Olivia Carlsen, Avery McGee
