whelmed.

There are some things that are just plain good.

Like when my three year old nephew reminisces, saying things like, When I was young…Sorry buddy, but you’re not even four yet. Um, still young.

And when you take a nighttime walk and get past the florescent lights in the parking lot. Way past them, actually. And how the darkness, when it’s finally allowed to be, makes the stars show up that much brighter.

And how you feel bad and then you cry. And yes, I’m listing this with the things that are just plain good. Because crying is God’s way of saying that sadness does change things in the sense that all the sudden your face is all screwed up tight and wet with tears, but then your forehead smooths again, you wipe away your tears and find that it’s still you under there.

And then there are some things that are just plain bad.

Like when you visit some friends in their home and recognize their dishes as being the same as yours. Only then you remember: they’re not yours, not anymore. And so instead of remarking upon their good taste and saying something like great minds think alike, you say absolutely nothing at all. A sad, sad nothing that you try to rush past by suddenly looking at the way the sunlight streams through the windows and reaches you, and there’s something reassuring about being reached, I guess.

Or the way that you can try so hard to be positive that sometimes, by the end of the day, you’re exhausted from the sheer effort of it all. And it’s not that the effort isn’t worth it, it’s just you hear so much and the homework, it piles up. Make sure you process everything. Guard your heart. But don’t become impenetrable . Use this time as a sabbath. What are you gonna do to make money? And yes, it’s all different ways of saying we care! but it can feel like different ways of saying we want you to do this!

And hey, I’d want someone I love to do all that too, so it’s not even that I’m blaming anyone for it. It’s just that, I can feel overwhelmed by it. But I suppose there’s the danger of nobody saying anything ever and then leaving me to feel underwhelmed.

How bout just good old whelmed? I think I’d like that; I think I could deal with being whelmed, for a change.