Posted by jessica on Jul 9, 2011 with
4 Comments
in
Performance,
Thoughts and Feelings
as
audition,
chicken,
cray,
creative team,
deal,
handstands,
high note,
lifting weights,
metaphorically,
mini skirt,
real,
show,
song,
talk with someone from,
tank top,
three songs,
time,
today,
tutu,
underwear
In one of my audition songs, there is an optional high note. I belt it when I am by myself and it always goes fine. Then I chicken out when I get in front of casting and lower the note.
Until today.
See, I know I have it in my range–it’s really a matter of nerves. And today I decided to just go for it. What do I have to lose? So I sang the song in front of the creative team of a show currently running on broadway and, well, now that note will no longer be optional for me.
Cause now I know I can do it. All the time.
The audition felt great, actually. I was myself. I connected with the people behind the table. I even made a few jokes. I sang three songs (which is a good sign when they let you keep going). I had a really good talk with someone from casting afterward, too. She told me they are excited about me and will definitely be bringing me back in at some point.
Then I went to the gym and realized that I forgot my shorts. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal, except that I was wearing a skirt that looks a lot like a tutu and, well, that’s just a little too ridiculous to think of lifting weights while wearing a tutu. So I found a tank top in my bag and fashioned it into a miniskirt type thing and worked out wearing that.
Cause that didn’t look ridiculous at all.
Honestly, I looked cray-cray. It didn’t help that my tank top was white and my underwear was bright pink, either. At least layering your clothing is so in. Although, I don’t think anyone has ever included underwear in the list of appropriate and trendy layers. And I was annoyed because what I really wanted to do was practice my handstands, but the mini-skirt put a stop to that.
Tonight after class I took a long walk from the East side to Columbus Circle. It was absolutely lovely. The rain was dying down, just making the city look a little misty. And I wanted to smile at every last person and dog that I passed on the streets. I kept thinking that I didn’t know one could feel such peace while walking alone on a rainy night in New York City.
I didn’t know until tonight, that is.
Posted by jessica on Aug 3, 2010 with
4 Comments
in
I Lift My Eyes Up,
Thoughts and Feelings
as
Auto,
brother,
car,
dark,
deal,
direction,
Draft,
fea,
feeling,
fist,
girl,
ground,
hand,
house,
jenna,
jonathan,
lake,
laugh,
legs,
monsters,
night,
right,
rocks,
rustling,
something,
sound,
sprinklers,
standing,
tank top,
thud,
victim,
weapons
Sometimes the monsters you fear are just sprinklers.
And you’re standing there in the dark, clutching a fist full of rocks you’ve scooped from underneath your feet; you’re not wanting to get close enough to whatever it is that’s terrifying you to actually throw them, but at least you’re armed now, and if not dangerous, well–you’re no longer just an innocuous girl. You’re not waiting to be a victim, legs and arms exposed because you were running and wearing shorts and a tank top and you never did expect to be so scared and vulnerable.
Not tonight, anyway.
But then your brother laughs just a little. “It’s just the sprinklers going off!” he says. And you laugh at yourself too and you let go of those rocks and they hit the ground with a thud, respectively, until you’re no longer feeling so weighed down by the weapons you clutched while you were fearing the worst.
Sprinklers, that’s what they were.
And now when you pass those sprinklers, you laugh a little inside your head. And you remember that what you feared so badly was something that couldn’t hurt you, after all.
So you don’t need to walk around with rocks in your hand; you don’t need to run away so fast; you don’t need to fear that every sound you hear is the worst.
Because sometimes the monsters you fear really are just sprinklers.
