First page of the texts archive.

emocionado, emocionado, emocionado.

Posted by jessica on Aug 9, 2010 with 9 Comments
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
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Have I told you about the time I tried to speak spanish? Well, actually, I tried to text it.

See, I have this friend named Andrew. He is a newer friend and I like him very much. He has eaten my macaroni and cheese and I have read one of the stories he wrote when he was all of five years old. If that is not a friend, I do not know what is.

One night we were commenting back and forth on facebook. He decided to message me his number in order to not have to speak by way of facebook anymore. There was one caveat: I prefer texts in spanish, he told me.

I don’t know spanish. But I figured, I got this one. How hard could it be to make your words sound a little Spanish?

And I texted him something. In my own hackneyed version of espanol, I told Andrew that I was very excited to see him the next day. Except I said it with many exclamation points, like this !!!!!!!!!!!! and when I was trying to think of the Spanish word for excited, I wrote down something that sounded like the word, but with some flava, some spanish flava.

So I said something about being muy excitado to see him.

And then there was a pause.

………………………..

And then he wrote back and was like, “I’m pretty sure you don’t mean what you said…because you just told me that you are very HORNY to see me tomorrow…”

And oh, I started laughing very very hard. Because Andrew is a person who is one hundred percent fantastic, but no, I am not horny to see him.

And now I will not soon forget that there are two different kinds of excited in Spanish: excitado and emocionado. And generally speaking, I am pretty much the latter.

still grateful. yes.

Posted by jessica on Jul 24, 2010 with 12 Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
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My computer kept telling me that it didn’t have room for much of anything else, whenever I tried to download something or even save what I was writing.

So I looked for things that I could delete, just like my little mac suggested. And I came upon some big file that simply said: drew. Perfect, I thought. So I dragged it over to the trash can in the bottom right hand corner of my screen and threw it away. Appropriately, I may add. And then I emptied the trash and I have to say that I made sure the volume was turned all the way up because that crunching sound it makes is quite satisfying for some reason.

And now, I am proud to say, I can once again download things and save my writing. I just hope that there wasn’t anything important in that file. I suppose I should have looked before getting rid of it, but I haven’t noticed anything missing, so I am just gonna assume that it’s all gonna be okay.

That’s basically how I try to live my life, I guess. Assuming the best. And then when the worst comes, dealing with it accordingly. Not that the worst comes much, you know. And the nice thing is that once it’s over, you can count on the fact that at least that can never happen again.

Tonight I was reading through old texts on my phone. I mean, really old. Like another lifetime old. And I came across the last few texts I wrote to Drew before I found out the truth and I felt sorry for that girl who had written them. I knew what she was going to go through, but she still didn’t. And then I realized that I am that girl who had written them and I didn’t need to feel so sorry for her because, look–I am okay.

And no, it doesn’t make a ton of sense, but actually there are times when I even feel a great sense of peace and joy. But still, reading through those texts was weird. It was like looking through pictures of someone who has since passed away. Except that I don’t miss whatever it is that has died.

Not once I realized what it really was.

And at the risk of sounding like a broken record (or maybe just a really cool remix), I am going to say it again: I am grateful.