a man, among other things.

My friend Chris calls me today. He’s shooting a commercial for some local parks and I’ve agreed to play the prestigious role of Young Woman.

*oh my gosh. Before I corrected it, I wrote Tongue Woman. Ew. What kind of role would that be? What kind of park has one of those creeping around in it?

But anyway.

He calls me. He says it’s gonna shoot on Monday. Sounds fine. “One thing,” he continues, sounding serious now.

“Yes?” I ask.
“We need to find you a man.”

I am not altogether sure that he’s still talking about the commercial. Okay, just kidding, I am sure. But still, the humor is not lost on me, so I start laughing. Loudly. And repeatedly. He catches on, and, without missing a beat says, “So we’ll be sending out a memo in the church bulletin saying that Jessica Latshaw needs a boyfriend STAT.”

“Great,” I say, still laughing. “Just great.”

But I really am supposed to sort of find a man to play, well, my man in this commercial. “Just if you think of anyone,” Chris tells me.

Like it’s not hard enough to find an actual boyfriend. Now I gotta find a pretend boyfriend, too?

Pork-chop-ay-oh, as they say in Korea when they are overwhelmed.

I am basically positive that is not how you spell that word, but that’s how you sound it out. I only ever could remember it because it started with the words “pork chop” and I thought that was funny.

Oh, and here is a list of things I learned today, in no particular order:

–it doesn’t feel good to do a shoulder stand when your head is completely congested. In fact, it feels downright terrible.
–it’s possible to find Marc jacobs dresses in second hand stores for really cheap.
–Thai food tastes really good the second day, too.
–I had lunch with an almost stranger today; I can talk about anything to just about anyone. I don’t know when this happened. I used to be really shy; I guess I’m not anymore.
–my friend Christian says I don’t need a man. A book I’m reading right now says I do need a man. The only thing I know for sure is that I need someone to pose as my man on Monday. How’s that for nice and concrete?
–I don’t understand when it is you become the person who just ambles around in the locker room completely naked. But it happens. Despite the ample towels that are provided, it happens. Not to everybody, though, and I’m thinking probably not to me.
–my capoeira professora has vowed to “knock the dancer right out of me.” I hope she doesn’t mean this literally. She said it with a wink and a smile, so I’m thinking not.
–thunder sounds glorious, it really does.