all dressed up with a ukulele.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, there are pictures here
as breakfast, breakfast meeting, care, catwalk, courage, dear friends, event, fashion, fashion event, first meeting, heck outta, japanese man, kind, kind lady, makeup, musical sense, someone, tomorrow, uke, ukulele, Voice
I am so tired right now and I have to get up for a breakfast meeting in the morning. And then I have two shows…so, right. This post will be short.
A very kind lady did my makeup for the pre-shows fashion event tonight. “I have googled you,” she told me, upon first meeting. “It does not look like you wear much makeup–are you comfortable with me doing your makeup?”
I assured her that I was.
And she got to work.
And then a very sweet Japanese man did my hair.
It was nice to sit back and let other people take care of me, actually. And this is what they did:
They also put me in a dress. Courage B is the designer. And they let me keep it. And I totally would have, too–had someone not stolen it. Which sucks, but what are you gonna do, right? I didn’t have that dress yesterday, so not having that dress tomorrow won’t be that different, anyway.
Here’ s a picture of me playing (in case you couldn’t figure that out). Oh man. I had to walk the catwalk to get to the stool and microphone to sing. People were so kind and cheering. Plus, I didn’t fall or even trip. Added bonus.
The mic situation was trying, though. They only had one and nothing to plug my uke into, so I had to somehow use one microphone for both my voice and my uke. I hunched over like some sort of creature to get my voice and uke as close together as possible for the mic to pic it up, and then I BELTED THE HECK OUTTA THOSE SONGS.
Here’s me and my wonderful, completely lovely friend Jes.
One of the best parts of the night was that two of my dear friends came with me.
And here is me and beautiful Bets.
Oh! Also, I had an awesome rehearsal in Brooklyn today with some AMAZING musicians I am collaborating with for the Sleep No More show on Monday. I feel so lucky to play my ukulele with these guys. Their groove and vibe is just plain dreamy. In a musical sense of the word. Plus they have a HUGE STUFFED LION in their apartment, just chilling. And they call him Aslan. Um, what’s not to love about that situation?
I met a kind Italian man who spoke to me for a while tonight. Considering the music was thumpin’ and his accent was pronounced, I did a lot of smiling and nodded without totally understanding what it was, exactly, I was smiling and nodding about, unfortunately. But, there were two things that stand out from that conversation:
1). I kept thinking that maybe my Italian grandfather (who passed away before I arrived on the scene, but worked in 30 Rock as the senior VP of RCA) sounded a bit like this guy, and the thought warmed my heart.
and
2). At one point I noticed liquid pouring down the side of his pants. I was really afraid that I was witnessing him peeing during our conversation…Until, with some relief, I realized that he was just holding his bottle of beer upside down. Thank goodness that’s what it was.
cared for.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
as boxes, cancellation, close calls, counselor, disappointment, EXPENSIVE, fears, husband, life, LOTS, mechanisms, moment, nashville, OKAY, stop, today, Usher, Voice, voice lessons
It is no secret that I recently completed a year of therapy.
And then my therapist up and moved to Nashville. What can I say? Therapists have dreams, too, I guess. And in this case, my therapist had a husband with a dream.
But I have also met a few times with a counselor in Pennsylvania. I don’t meet with him often, because, frankly, I cannot afford it. But honestly, I am thinking that, for me, rich might look like voice lessons and therapy. LOTS AND LOTS OF BOTH. Expensive, wondrous mechanisms for better living, which I cannot afford at the moment.
But I wake up to a text this morning from my counselor: I have a cancellation at 12:30 today, if you wanna stop by and see me.
I groggily think about it (I have just woken up, after all), and realize that I cannot afford it. So, regretfully text him such.
No charge, he writes back, I think it’d be good to talk; you’ve been on my heart.
WHAT.
OKAY.
DONE.
So I go and I tell him all of it. The little things that have been sticking to my heart over the past two weeks or so. The big things that have made me cry. The stuff that can only be described as: GOD DID THAT. The fears I still feel. The hopes I had thought were folded up, hidden in boxes and stored for another season, because surely they weren’t needed now. Not when nothing was happening. Over and over again–so many almosts and close calls and maybe next times and “keep your chin up, kid”s–to the point that, if people asked me what was happening in my life, I simply said not much and tried to change the topic over to their life.
Because I didn’t know how appropriate it’d be to tell them how I’d cried into my pillow last night again. How I still sometimes thought of him and wondered what he was thinking. How life could sometimes feel like a deadline that was yesterday, always yesterday. How my dreams scared me because I felt their power to usher in more disappointment into my life–felt it palpably. How I still think life is the most beautiful and poignant thing I’ve ever seen. How the sunset makes my heart hurt sometimes, it is so stunning. How the stars feel like friends with kind faces. How, in a lot of cases, I find television boring compared to all the stories that are unfolding around me. How Christmas parties are painful. How talks with friends are oxygen.
So, right: I don’t say all that, because who has the time or inclination to listen?
But I said a lot of that–adding a few details into the mix–today. And I feel so, well, taken care of. I probably didn’t even realize I needed to talk until afterward; but I did. And it happened. Not even because I could afford it; I couldn’t. Not even because I knew I needed it; I didn’t know.
But because there is a provision in my life that goes beyond what I have; it looks at what I need and then it gives me more than that, even. And everywhere I look, I see the provision of God.
Like I said: taken care of.
And today I felt it. Again.
in which I use caps locks generously.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as deaf man, ELEVEN, family, friend joe, girl, gratitude, HEAR, HOW, humility, l train, landenberg, mail, package, post office, posture, time, uke, ukulele, Voice, way
Today was a gem. And now I feel all shiny and gem-like because of it. I got to go mail a package at the post office. And listen to a mostly-deaf man try to listen to a post office employee tell him how much it will cost to mail the package he was sending. “Eleven [...]
what a strange fairy tale this is.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
as broken relationships, bus, child, cinderella, devastation, epic, fairy, fairy tale, handsome prince, love, Narnia, new awakening, nieces, rainy, rainy day, reason, shame, story, tea in china, time, traumatic events, ugliness, Voice
*Today was a rainy day. I was on a bus and feeling sentimental and pensive. So, I wrote this. Just don’t say you weren’t warned. There is a reason that I spent so much time in Narnia as a child. Yes, the world that Lewis created, I mean. It was always my dream to go there. [...]
crying less, but crying, still.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings
as change, don t cry, DROPPED, face, feelings, hundredth time, laugh, mascara, old friend, overwhelming evidence, phone, proponent, psalmist, sentences, shithead, space, Tears, today, Voice, way
While feeling sad earlier today, I ponder calling an old friend. Right when I decide to do it, I happen to see his status on that social network that I don’t really want to mention here, for some reason–not in this space, not today–and I read: “Dropped my phone in the toilet–email me, if you [...]
yellow couch music.
in Performance, there are pictures here
as chicken, chicken fingers, couch, djembe, food, former, good time, half, latter, little bit, Mindy, panties in a wad, Shane, show, stage, story, tater tots, time, tiny bit, Voice
The Paper Janes played a show tonight. I am one half of the Paper Janes. Well, since we brought a couch on stage with us tonight, perhaps I am more like one third of the Paper Janes. Anyway. We had a really good time; I really love that yellow couch of Shane’s. It looks like [...]
a list.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, there are pictures here
as amish man, choice, convenience store, course, delicious subs, duck boots, good, leg warmers, lunch rush, package, plaid shirt, quiet voice, rehearsal, sort, stoltzfus, store, today, Trapper, Voice
Things that made today better. Or interesting (which is generally better, anyway) are as follows: Trapper. He works at the Media Post Office and helped me mail a package today. At first I thought he just didn’t feel much like talking, but after interpreting his gestures and following his finger as he pointed to this [...]
rainbows: a universal language.
in I Lift My Eyes Up, there are pictures here
as ahhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhh, blog, faces, home, Jess, kiss, laughter and tears, lead, motivation, pop, rainbow, reminder, restaurant, snap, today, universal language, Voice
I saw this today, while I was eating dinner with my parents. “Quick, Jess! Go take a picture–for your blog!” my pop commanded me. And so I did just that. But, that rainbow. What a reminder that the world cannot be all that bad when there are rainbows hung in the sky like that. And it [...]
three cheers for this weekend.
in Loved Ones, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as band, emotions, family, few minutes, friday night, girl, god bless the woman, hymns, name, Philly, Saturday, show, side, singers, sinus infection, song, soprano, talented musicians, three cheers, Voice
Oh, this weekend. It’s been grand and so chock full of song. We had a show on Friday night in Philly; it was oh-so-fun. I don’t know how many times I get asked if I am Jane, but I don’t mind it; I rather love that name, anyway. I get to be in a band [...]
farewell. I mean that: we will both fare well.
in Thoughts and Feelings
as body, Cause, closure, conversation, farewell, feed, ghetto, gotta, gurl, jazz class, new stuff, pansy, scars, song, stranger, subway station, Voice, voice lesson, way
Today I took: Hip hop. Capoeira. Yoga. And learned: A song for my voice lesson. And had a conversation with: My ex (I hate that word; I just do). I think I am exhausted in every way it is possible to be exhausted. My legs are protesting the three class streak today. My body’s all [...]
