Posted by jessica on Dec 13, 2011 with
2 Comments
in
Thoughts and Feelings
as
absolute beauty,
audrey hepburn,
bar,
beauty,
black,
blue eyes,
dear god,
death,
Duane,
duane reade,
elderly man,
eternity,
fi,
fifties,
hand,
handle bar,
head over heels,
house,
kind,
Kinkos,
love,
man,
mustache,
mustachioed man,
one million dollars,
photo,
photograph,
Pride,
rite aid,
sister,
stage whisper,
three months,
VERY,
wax
“This is my sister, back in the fifties–doesn’t she look just like Audrey Hepburn?” said the elderly man behind me at Kinkos in Columbus Circle.
I looked at the faded black and white photograph he held in his hand; and then I looked at his white handle bar mustache–the kind that employs wax to make it curl up at the ends–and I took in his blue eyes sparkling with love and pride for his sister.
And was head over heels enchanted.
“She does look like Audrey Hepburn,” I said, the two of us gazing at her together now. “What an absolute beauty.”
“I know–wasn’t she, though?” he agreed, still clutching the photo, now yellowed with age. “I have to hold onto this sister, you see–I lost two of them within three months of each other last year.”
And it never ceases to amaze me how we can casually mention death like that. I mean, we do it–we have to–it’s a part of our world here. But it feels terribly wrong, tempered only by eternity and the fact that we will see each other again. Dear God, there is hope in that. Let us all rest our tired hearts right there.
I told him how sorry I was to hear about his sisters, and then I listened to his story. Or at least some of it. I learned about the house that his two remaining sisters own in Brooklyn. How the Duane-Reade family (yes, Duane-Reade. Aka the Rite-aid of New York City) has offered to buy that house many times, but I get the feeling that, whether or not your last name is Duane-Reade or even Obama, these sisters are no respecters of persons when it comes to giving up their home, thankyouverymuch.
The mustachioed man leaned in, lowered his voice in such a way that alerts the listener that you are about to hear something VERY! EXCITING! and VERY! SECRET!, and said in a sort of stage whisper right into my ear, “They offered my sisters one million dollars!”
And, forgive me, but I thought about that scene in Austin Powers, when the outdated terrorist threatens to destroy the whole world–or something like that, I don’t remember the details–unless they give him ONE MILLION DOLLARS. And the negotiators start laughing because–well, because that just isn’t very much to ask for these days. And I wondered aloud if maybe the house in Brooklyn is worth more than that now, but the man just dismissed such a notion as wrong and insisted on helping me with my polka-dotted suitcase.
Just like a perfect gentleman.
“What is your name?” I finally asked him, right before I left Kinkos.
“William,” he said, extending his hand to me. I shook it and told him my name and didn’t walk away until I said, “Well William, you’re wonderful.”
Any man who loves his sisters and waxes his mustache and helps me with my suitcase and has sparkling blue eyes and shares his story generously is more than wonderful, actually.
And this.
This is the bits and pieces of Americana that I relish. That I stand raptly before, happy to be here and now. Happy to witness it.
Another part of Americana is when I got called an idiot on the subway today. Not so adorable, that part. I told the lady that wasn’t very nice, which didn’t seem to make her think I was any less of an idiot, but oh well. Americana is a lot of things–good and bad–but always, always interesting, at least.
Posted by jessica on Nov 3, 2011 with
6 Comments
in
Thoughts and Feelings
as
breathing,
chills,
consciousness,
ears,
everything,
excerpt from,
fantasticks,
girl,
glen,
gosh,
hand,
head,
lifetime,
memory,
reason,
time,
vines,
wax,
woodchucks
Oh, gosh.
This.
Listen to this:
You wonder how these things begin.
Well, this begins with a glen.
It begins with a season which,
For want of a better word,
we might as well call–September.
It begins with a forest where the woodchucks woo
And leaves wax green.
And vines entwined like lovers, try to see it.
Not with your eyes, for they are wise.
But see it with your ears:
The cool green breathing of the leaves.
And hear it with the inside of your hand:
The soundless sound of shadows flicking light.
–excerpt from The Fantasticks
It’s beautiful, isn’t it?
Gives me chills.
And also?
It’s from another lifetime.
Back when I was so young–even my thoughts were young.
They were the color of mirrors, I think;
they reflected what was around me,
and what was around me happened to look so innocuous at the time.
And some of it was.
Like, these words–they’re still beautiful.
Even though the only reason I know about them is–
well, is because of him.
Sometimes my head would hurt so badly.
I’d lay in the dark and he’d sit by me.
“Please tell me about September,” I’d say.
And he would.
That’s a good memory.
It’s okay to acknowledge that whatever has happened since does not discredit everything.
Like the fact that these words were beautiful then and are beautiful now.
And that there was a girl in the dark who felt completely safe when she listened to them.
And that whatever that was is a part of me now.
And I’m glad to be me now.
And I’m glad I was me then, too.
And those words–I don’t know why they pricked my consciousness tonight, but I don’t mind that they did.
And I think this is a good thing.
Posted by jessica on Apr 4, 2010 with
14 Comments
in
I Lift My Eyes Up,
photography,
Thoughts and Feelings
as
brother jason,
candles,
colors,
day,
Easter,
easter sunday,
Eggs,
Eve,
God,
Jason,
kinship,
little bits,
love,
method,
nobody,
pretty pictures,
something,
thumbnail,
ukrainians,
upload,
wax,
way
*updated to include the pic now; thanks for fixing it, Jase! I have pretty pictures to upload here. Of eggs, dyed lovely colors. And I have a thumbnail that is dyed orange to prove that I, along with some friends, dyed those eggs. And even decorated them in a way that used wax and candles [...]