First page of the world archive.

how it happened that we played on the subway that day and you all know about it now.

Posted by jessica on Jan 7, 2012 with 56 Comments
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
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The next time you decide to wear your hair in pigtails, think long and hard about it. Because, see, you might just become part of a little video that gets to see more of the world than you do.

I’m actually not upset about the pigtails, I just think it’s a little funny. And not so glamorous. But life is not about being glamorous, is it? If that were the case, I should really stop wearing my favorite sweat pants to the gym. The ones with the holes. In the seat of the pants, that is. But, lucky for me, the point of life is not glamour, so LIVE ON, dear sweatpants, LIVE ON!

But, someone asked me to tell about the youtube video. Give some exposition. Like, how it happened to be that me and the fierce drummer just started jamming on the subway on a regular Tuesday evening on the A train (as if there is anything regular about a Tuesday evening on the A train!). So, here goes.

I had come from a series of classes and grocery shopping (life is not about glamour; case in point). I had my uke strapped to my back because I like to use the commute on the train to practice, if I can. You know, make the most of the 35 minutes, better myself and blah blah blah. And–before you go into a tirade about how PEOPLE JUST WANNA BE LEFT ALONE ON THE SUBWAY, SO JUST TAKE YOUR UKULELE AND USE IT TO BUILD A FIRE BECAUSE YOU’RE A HIPSTER AND SO YOU SURELY CANNOT AFFORD HEAT!–let me explain. I practice so quietly. Barely strumming at all–more just going over finger positions and picking, that kind of stuff.

In fact, yesterday I was doing just that, when I suddenly looked at the guy next to me and asked, “Does this bother you at all?” He looked irritated by having to strain to hear my voice over whatever was coming from his headphones, and, once he did finally hear me, he said ‘no’ in such an are-you-an-idiot? kind of tone, that you’d think I’d asked him if he’d like to eat one of the rats that live in the tunnels for dinner tonight.

I didn’t ask him that till later, after I was finished practicing. Duh.

Anyway, my uke was strapped to my back while waiting for the train at 59th. Fierce drummer and his friends walk up to me. “What’s that you got?” the drummer asks me. “A ukulele,” I say. “It’s not a cello?” someone else asks.

“It’s not a cello,” and I leave it at that.

“Why don’t you give me your number?” the drummer asks me.

“So we can jam?” I ask.

“…Among other things,” he answers.

Which is when I explain that he can give me his number, if he’d like, but I don’t regularly give my number out. He scrambles to find a pen. The A train shows up. I move to leave. He convinces his friends to jump onto my train with me, and then we all sit down. “Are you good?” the drummer asks me.

Which is usually when I don’t quite know what to say. And honestly, I’ve only been playing the uke for a few months–I’m not that good. I’m pretty good at the piano; pretty okay, I mean, but not really good at the uke. Thus, the practicing during my commute, see?

Another guy asks me, “You gonna sing some (which is when he makes yodeling noises–and I am not gonna attempt to spell yodeling noises. Not at 2:15 in the morning, anyway)?”

“No,” I say. “I’ll sing something better.”

So, then, I don’t even remember quite how it happens, but next thing I know, the drummer has started a beat–he wants something in 6, but we compromise on 4–and I am playing Ain’t My Friend.

Matt, who I didn’t know then, but have since gotten to know some, has taken out his phonecam and is recording it all. I start to sing. I start to rap. The guy in the SOX hat to my left starts to smile. The drummer’s friend starts to tell everyone what is happening; how we are strangers and it’s truly a serendipitous moment that we’re all experiencing.

And the magical part is that, well, we all seem to truly be in the same place. This place filled with music. Either listening to it or making it–or both–we’re here. Sharing one space. Together. What a lovely word: together.

Anyway, the rest is, as they say, history.

I am extremely SHOCKED over how that clip has found it’s way into so many different places. When Matt told me he was gonna put it on youtube and made sure to get my first and last name so he could tag me, I thought, Cool, maybe my parents will like to see it. 

And they do; my parents sure do like to see it.

I just didn’t think so many other parents would like to see it, too.

I am grateful. It was special. It involved every last person that was there; not any one of us could have made that happen alone.

Like I said, together. 

not the best, but it doesn’t even matter, really.

Posted by jessica on Aug 22, 2011 with 4 Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
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I will say it: I am not the best dancer in the world.

Truth is, I am not the best anything in the world.

But that doesn’t really matter. Because who is? Not being The Best In The World is peripheral compared to this: What is it that you love?

And I mean real love. The kind that makes your heart beat faster and your body feel electric as you push yourself and find that you’re doing things you never imagined you’d do. Not ever. Maybe for the guy who’s shy, who’s never read Shakespeare–maybe he’s suddenly writing a poem to some blue eyed girl in Minnesota that, just by her very presence, has transformed Minnesota into some kind of wonderland. A place where dreams are born.

What I mean is, being in love transforms you.

And I love to dance.

Which is why I went to samba class again tonight. Why the four drummers playing in the corner were changing the beat of my own heart, turning it into something that went bum, BOOM, boom, boom, for a change. And why I shook my whole body for about an hour and a half. These are the kinds of crazy things that people do–people who are in love, I mean.

And no, I am not the best dancer in the world.

But do you refrain from falling in love with another person for the mere fact that you are not The Best Person In The World?

No, you don’t.

And that doesn’t matter at all.

Heck, that doesn’t even exist at all.

You fall in love, and then you’re doing crazy wonderful things (one hopes). You’re stopping at nothing to make sure you’re the very best vehicle for that pure strong love to flow through, and you point it nowhere but in your beloved’s direction.

So it is with the things that we love to do, I think.

And I remembered tonight, while shaking it in samba. I remembered how much I love to dance. And that’s something, guys; that’s really something.

road trip to georgetown.

Posted by jessica on Sep 12, 2010 with 15 Comments
in Loved Ones, photography, Thoughts and Feelings
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I mentioned to my friend Lindsay just last week that some of the best cupcakes in the world are in Georgetown. I mentioned that they are even worth a road trip. “Let’s do it!” she said, and she made good her word today. Because, you know, a lot of people talk about things and then [...]

birthday

Posted by jessica on Jun 4, 2010 with 17 Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Loved Ones, Thoughts and Feelings, Uncategorized
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I don’t even understand how this works. I mean, we learn our lessons experientially, right? Someone walks outside and they see the ocean and then they tell everyone they meet that the world is very wet with a surface that never does stay still, it’s so busy swelling and upturning. Or they look up and [...]

ridiculousness.

Posted by jessica on May 31, 2010 with 22 Comments
in Thoughts and Feelings
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I am ridiculous. I mean rolling-out-dough-at-3:30-in-the-morning ridiculous. And as if that isn’t ridiculous enough, please bear in mind that I was rolling out dough with some sort of tool that, as far as I can guess, is used to crush pills. The word that comes to mind is pestle but I could be making that [...]

. the real world.

Posted by jessica on May 21, 2010 with 4 Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
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Tonight a new friend of mine asked me what the real world is like. Which made me think for a second before I told her that I think it’s an illusion that the real world is something other than this. Whatever this is for you. Because yes, sometimes we are in school or we are [...]

this is what it feels like.

Posted by jessica on Apr 23, 2010 with 16 Comments
in Funny Stuff, I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings
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Nobody can tell me God doesn’t care for me. Well, I suppose they could try, but I wouldn’t believe them. Not when I see it all around me; not when I can’t help but feel it in the way I listen to the world. And sometimes it sounds like a guy with nothing but the [...]

these latter days.

Posted by jessica on Mar 30, 2010 with 23 Comments
in I Lift My Eyes Up, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
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Tonight, Shane and I went to the World Cafe’s open mic and played a couple of songs. It was fun. A blast, really. And oh, we might have met a few cool cats who want to produce our rap. Yes, our rap, which was one of the two songs we played. They sounded very excited, [...]

the sun’s still yellow.

Posted by jessica on Mar 27, 2010 with 16 Comments
in MP3, Performance
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I don’t know why, but weekends tend to feel a little sad for me. I know, shocker. Why in the world would I feel sad? ha. But this is what I like to do when I’m sad. Dig in. Seriously. Because I can. There was a time when I couldn’t, you know. When staying alive [...]

taxes and crocuses.

Posted by jessica on Mar 17, 2010 with 20 Comments
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
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First I need to say that I am not altogether sure what it is one does with their bum in a modern dance class, but whatever it is, it causes it to hurt like the dickens the next day. So now you know. Oh, and I also need to say that it’s easy to forget. [...]