on goals.
in Thoughts and Feelings
as applying to grad school, chance, decision, direction, finish line, funny part, gait, grad, Line, little bunny, opposite, out of sight, pain, paper, performing music, precious stone, stone, stone in my pocket, way, weight, writing music
I am not sure how it happens, but it does
This slow steady crawl of redemption; this limping gait across the finish line.
And the funny part is that just when you see it underneath your feet, it turns into the quickest bunny that darts into the woods and out of sight once again. And just like that, the goal is once again over there and you are once again over here. Walking towards it. On good days, anyway. And on the other days, you hope that you are at least not walking the opposite direction of the goal. You hope that you remember what your goal is.
And I don’t mean to say that we don’t accomplish things; we do. Quite the opposite, really. And once we do, then, inevitably, new things show up to accomplish.
For a while there, I wanted to just not be in so much pain and confusion. That has happened, for the most part. Bam. Wow. I am grateful, so grateful, and I don’t ever want to forget any of it, because then I might forget this gratitude I carry around like a precious stone in my pocket. I remember when it wasn’t there. I didn’t know to miss it, because I didn’t know it. But now I do; I can feel the nice smooth weight of it as I clutch it in my hand and I’d rather not let go ever.
And now my quick little bunny goal has run off again; I am here and it is there and I am hoping that I walk in the right direction. For me, walking in the right direction means:
- staying physically fit in every way possible because I love to dance and it’s hard to dance well without being fit.
- writing. every day. yes, every day.
- writing music, practicing music, performing music–whenever I get the chance. if I am able to do it, then I should say yes. i made that decision a long time ago, actually.
- applying to grad school.
- auditioning for agents.
- teaching people how to do the things I love to do.
- auditioning in general.
I am hoping that all those things result in walking in the direction of my goal(s). I am hoping the bunny slows down enough sometime soon for me to see that ever illusive finish line.
You know, just enough to remember what it looks like before it darts off again.
•I should specify that those things listed are career-ish goals, and not every one of my goals is a career-ish goal.
a pretty good week. yes I just said that.
in Uncategorized
as Dominic, kind, lot, music, new friend, playing music, recording music, something, today, week, whiz, writing music
This has actually been a pretty good week, all things considered.
I know, I know, WHAT?
Before you make sure that you didn’t accidentally click on some pop-up add that whisked you away from thislifeinwriting.com faster than you could say the word emo, let me assure you: you haven’t left.
And that’s what I said (which is not the same as saying that’s what she said).
It’s been a pretty good week, all things considered.
See I made this new friend. His name is Dominic and he’s a whiz at recording music. He’s also good at writing music. Oh, and playing music too. But he offered to record me and that was just it. We collaborated today. It was funny, though, cause we don’t know each other too well and so a lot of our collaboration was hedged by tentative phrases like, If you don’t like that idea it won’t hurt my feelings and but–and tell me if you don’t want to–but, what if you tried it like this? and Would you mind letting me try that take just one more time, please?
And another thing I really love about his music is that a lot of it is genuinely happy. Dreamy. The kind of songs you sing with a smile. The kind of songs that believe love has a face you can touch, a hand you can hold.
I haven’t written anything like that for a while.
But I did get to sing something like that today. We did a duet of sorts and it’s turned out to be something that is stuck in my mind in a very good way. I even heard my pop humming it to himself as he was walking around earlier.
I’ll post the songs here when I figure out how to do it, don’t you worry.
And so yes, all things considered, it’s been a pretty good week.
