Raymond the Christian Pimp.
in Funny Stuff
as bodega, conviction, cracking up, december 7th, equity, equity building, friend kevin, good looking couple, harlem, harlem hospital, italian meal, Kev, reading, s type, self, street, way, Yep, yoga class
So I’m back in New York City.
At least for a minute, anyway.
And, man, I can tell.
I took a beautiful yoga class, visited the equity building and paid my dues, and also had a delicious organic Italian meal at a bodega on Bleecker street with my dear friend Kevin.
Those parts of New York City are lovely, but not necessarily hilarious. Well, except Kev. He’s pretty darn funny.
But then we got the A train and that’s when we met Raymond. He was born at Harlem hospital on December 7th, 1936, is a sagittarius, and a self proclaimed pimp. And a Christian. That’s what he said, “I’m a pimp. And a Christian.” And we didn’t know him well enough to argue one way or the other.
But yes.
Yes, I did laugh.
Raymond says he is very good at reading people–and immediately told me and Kevin that we are quite a good looking couple. “I hope you stay together,” he said, seriously.
“Oh, we love each other very much,” I said, just as seriously.
And we do.
Just not in the exact same way Kevin loves Brandon, is all.
“Do you think he’ll cheat on you?” Raymond asked me.
“Pretty sure this one won’t,” I said with conviction.
In fact, I’m positive that Kevin will never cheat on me.
“He loves you that much?” Raymond asked.
“Yep,” I said, thinking to leave it at that.
But Raymond the Christian Pimp was not quite done. “Until you meet a black man,” he told me, “You’ll never be satisfied.”
Poor Kev.
I mean, he told me this right in front of the guy who he thought was my boyfriend. True, I will never be kevin’s type, but Raymond didn’t know that.
“I’m just trying to help you,” he said, sounding a little exasperated, which may or may not have had something to do with the fact that Kevin, myself, and the people around us were all cracking up laughing.
“Listen,” Raymond the Christian Pimp said, “Why don’t you just go to my website?”
“And what’s that?” someone asked.
“I know sh*t dot com,” Raymond answered.
And then all of us lost it, even Raymond.
It’s good to be back in the city.
chicago, day one.
in Funny Stuff, Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as bum bum bum, bums, Chicago, costume designer, crazy schedule, dancing, dancing and singing, era, good company, gosh, lingerie, nighttime hours, paychecks, production, rehearsal, sex, strange things, time, tomorrow, yoga class
Dancing, and singing, and paychecks, OH MY.
Today was my first day of my new job and it was pretty awesome to be learning new music (the dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum…has been stuck in my head all night. See, I get to sing all the ‘bums’ (which is, by far, better than dating all the bums!)–some don’t get to sing them; I feel very lucky). And tomorrow we get to start dancing. So stoked.
And I will tell you something funny that happened today. During rehearsal, our costume designer was pulling us out, one at a time, for fittings and such. For this production of Chicago, they are trying to stay pretty true to the 1920′s era, so they are using some lingerie from that period. Our designer was gesturing to the different pieces she wanted me to try on, and was, I later found out, trying to say something to the effect of, “I haven’t had tons of success lately,” meaning they weren’t fitting the people who tried them on before me, I guess.
But what she actually said was entirely different. She looked at me quite frankly, with a little bit of regret sounding in her tone, and announced:
“I haven’t had tons of sex lately.”
I lost it.
I mean, it was just so funny.
But as I was laughing, I managed to tell her that she was in good company, cause neither have I.
So then she started laughing and kept explaining to me that she hadn’t meant to say that. Oh gosh, it was a pretty amazing mistake. I said I appreciated her being real with me. And then we started laughing again.
I took a yoga class right after rehearsal tonight. And I fell asleep during shavasana. I guess that’s the kind of thing that happens when you get up early and, you know, work all day. Whoa. This is a crazy schedule, rising with America’s work force. Thankfully, once the show opens, I can go back to my regular nighttime hours. But for now, I will be doing strange things like going to bed a little earlier than normal and falling asleep during shavasana, I guess.
a snowflake in harlem.
in Funny Stuff, Performance
as 7th avenue, bff, blank stares, dance classes, dancing, Groupon, kind, lifer, little sister, love, massage, pole, pole dancing classes, quick solution, snowflake, subway, tons of money, way, yoga class
Groupon. Do you guys know about this? I don’t even really remember how it knows about me, but now it emails me deals here in NYC. Like, $30 massage deals. And five dance classes for $29 deals. Apparently, groupon does not simply know my email address; it also knows what I like. Massage and dance. [...]
a smattering.
in Performance, Thoughts and Feelings
as 8th avenue, 98 degrees, course, good, home, HOT, hot yoga, jinga, measurable progress, nyc studio, perfectionists, pop, progress, real friend, smattering, someone, studio, time, Yesterday, yoga class
Yesterday, I was walking along 8th avenue with my friend. We were talking and laughing and participating in all the good kinds of carryings-on that happens when one is with a friend. Suddenly, a man bumped into me. We both apologized. I said something like, “My bad.” He looked at me and said, “My pleasure.” [...]
on plans and gaps and such.
in Thoughts and Feelings
as AMOUNT, amount of time, Darby, different shapes, dirty word, friday night lights, gaps, good, grad school, kid, kind, life, meantime, mfa program, new kid, odds, player, progress, series, shapes and sizes, time, yoga class
People are funny about California. Those who live here, I mean. Most people ask me if I have moved out here; when I tell them that I have not, they ask me when I am going to. Like it’s a given, inevitable. I smile and say that I might…And then they say, “You will.” And [...]
pics and text and a song, oh my.
in Performance, photography, Thoughts and Feelings, video
as beat up old car, car, computer screen, cop, grey hair, Handed, handmade pieces, moment, mountain, redhead, redheads, shop, song, song yesterday, store, street, today, u turn, walking home, yoga class
This is just right down the street from me. I know, it’s brilliant. There really aren’t words. And today, I decided to walk to my yoga class. It was just down the mountain a little ways. Plus, I didn’t have a car, which really made my decision an easy one. And it was a nice [...]
good news. bad news.
in Funny Stuff, Thoughts and Feelings
as Auto, california achievement test, curse word, Draft, everything, good news bad news, GRE, guide, kind, massage, math portion, math practice, math problem, old princeton, pocket dictionary, study, time, today, wallet, way, word mom, yoga class
The good news is that I bought a pocket dictionary today. I used to have one that I carried with me in my bag all the time and I loved knowing that little book that could tell me what everything meant was with me. I mean, all those words! I was downright rich with them, right [...]
yoga.
in Funny Stuff
as ability, anything, Auto, cannot, class, Draft, ebay, elbows, fact, fifty, judgement, kind, knees, leg, levers, man, mollification, pose, right, room, something, spandex, spandex pants, strength, teacher, terminology, tonight, tw, yoga, yoga class
I took a yoga class tonight and the teacher mentioned to me that I have “long levers.” She mentioned this twice. I thought that was kind of funny terminology and wanted to laugh. I probably would have if a). that would not have been considered rude, b). it did not feel like one hundred and [...]
